Thread by @yinkanubi

Thanks for having me. The Twitter Conference starts now.

We will be discussing the topic" FAMILY LIFE

#doitrightnigeria

https://twitter.com/letsprayNigeria/status/1041423604834082817

It was late in the evening. March 24th 2007 I believe. I was admitted to the hospital on the diagnosis that I had acute malaria. I was already three days into the admission. But my health was not improving. It was getting worse. #doitrightnigeria

What I didn’t know was that by a drug the hospital was administering was the cause of my worsen situation. On this day, I gradually stated to slip away. There were people in the room frantically running around to get the attention of the nurses. #doitrightnigeria

A friend’s mum who came to visit couldn’t bare the sight. She ran out of my room. As I slipped into unconsciousness, it mattered not that I had just been promoted to the position of a Deputy General Manager in my organisation. #doitrightnigeria

The only thing that mattered was the fact that I won’t be alive to hold my son born just 4 days ago. The image in my mind was that of the newly born chubby baby boy. I survived but learnt a big lesson. When all the chips are down, what will be left is FAMILY. #doitrightnigeria

Everyone belongs in a family and no matter how disjointed a life can be, it was born into a family. The family unit is the single most important social unit from childhood to adulthood. As much as we strive for accomplishment in our career, business, and social..#doitrightnigeria

....the desire to be accepted in a family trumps it all. It was Michael Fox that said “Family is not an important thing, it is everything”. Question is, if family is as important as we say it is, why is it that we do not pay so much attention to it? #doitrightnigeria

I'm one of those that believe that the dysfunction in d society can be directly traced to dysfunction in d family. The family was a design by God to protect, educate, nurture & support. It's reason why d family is made up of father, mother, children & relations. #doitrightnigeria

Myles Monroe said, once the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable. Allow me to rephrase. ‘If the purpose of a thing is abused, dysfunction is inevitable’. We're seeing in our society examples of dysfunction that can be traced back to the family. #doitrightnigeria

Drug addictions, yahoo yahoo, teenage pregnancy, rape, cultism etc. The signs are there. From absentee fathers to mothers who couldn’t be bothered about modelling the right values. The family unit as we know it has never been under so much threat as we see today #doitrightnigeria

I remember what a friend told me in the University. She was known to be openly promiscuous. While trying to preach Christ to her, she told me that all her life, she never knew her dad and that she saw her mum sleeping around with men to pay the bill. #doitrightnigeria

Her mum told her that she will have to use her body to get what she wants because she can't afford to fund her education. She survived but a child shd never have to make that kind of decision. That's why the family is important to protect d dignity of the child. #doitrightnigeria

If we can create strong families, we can create strong communities and a stronger nation as well. In contrast, if we weaken families, the tendency is that we will inevitably be creating weak communities and a weak nation. #doitrightnigeria

We’ve grown up in a culture that celebrates the idea that in the family, certain people can only be seen but not heard or that once the head of the family says something it cannot be questioned or challenged. You can call it the “Kabiyesi” mentality. #doitrightnigeria

I once told my son to do something and he asked why? I told him ‘because I said so’. To which he asked ‘why did u say so?’ In my generation, u dare not ask your dad why. While it communicated respect, it also created a docile generation scared to question norms. #doitrightnigeria

So how do we get it right with FAMILY LIFE in Nigeria?

1. Never start a family unless you know you can dedicate the time and resources to invest in that family. Starting a family should never be a casual decision. It should be well thought out one. #doitrightnigeria

A child brought into the world without a father or mother or the right values instilled is a potential time bomb that will not only be a problem for that family and the immediate community but also for the nation at large. #doitrightnigeria

2. Create Time for your family. The idea that because you're the breadwinner u don’t have the time to spend with your family is nonsense. Create that time. Help out with home work, spend quality time with ur spouse. Eat meals together. Communicate, Communicate. #doitrightnigeria

3. Respect what your family members say. Never take anyone for granted even if they're a child. My son came to me recently to say he didn’t like d way I had shouted at him. For me, it was important for me to have him express his feelings without shutting him off #doitrightnigeria

If I'm going to demand respect from him, I need to respect him too. Children matter. They shd be heard. Your wife matters. In the same way u demand respect, you shd respect her by valuing her contribution. Don't value the pastors words more than your husbands. #doitrightnigeria

4. Create a memory bank. Go on a vacation. Take pictures. Create positive memories because it'll last you a life time. What it communicates to your family is that they're important and that they matter. If they know they matter, it will boost their confidence. #doitrightnigeria

5. Celebrate your family. Remember their special days. Never hesitate to affirm them. We grew up in a culture where some think it is macho not to show emotions. If you can't be vulnerable before your family, then you can't be vulnerable anywhere. #doitrightnigeria

Create a family tradition, one that binds u together. It cld be eating a particular mean on a certain day or going to a location every year. My dad always gave me cash equivalent to my age. When I was 16, I got N16. Funny right? But I always looked forward to it #doitrightnigeria

6. Finally, spend time to pray for your family. Never take anything for granted. When you have done your physical best, do the spiritual also. Lift them up to the Lord in prayers and ask Him to look after them. What do you have to lose? #doitrightnigeria

Remember, there are no guarantees. The world is full of stories of those who came out from good and loving families and still ended up bad. While there are others who came out from dysfunctional families but still ended up good. It's not for you to compare, just #doitrightnigeria

Thanks to Damilola Dawodu @DamieysTer and her team in @letsprayNigeria for putting all these together.

#doitrightnigeria