Thread by @capeandcowell

Since everything is awful, Imma tell you a story about being stuck on top of a mountain with one of the dumbest, yet, funniest guys I know.

We’ll call him Bubba to save his reputation. /1

Me and Bubba wanted to try out a 4x4 I just bought so we decided to take it to the top of the tallest mountain in our area.... in the winter....and it was already snowing at lower altitude. /2

I awoke before daylight to go pick him up because I had a funeral to attend that night.

I dressed warm and warned him to do the same but we’re talking about Bubba here. /3

We drove up the mountain pretty easy and walked around in about a foot of snow.

I need to mention I was driving a 1970 Ford Bronco with street tires because I’m super smart. /4

Welp, we decide to drive around the top a little more and he says “Hey, think we could go down this little trail?”

Men never balk at a dare. /5

After almost wrecking about 4 times, we reach the end to find out we’re on a 4 wheeler trail to a tree stand for deer hunting.

We’re both sick as I try to turn around and get logged against a tree. Time to walk. /6

We walked around in a foot of snow for a couple hours and ran into a couple guys who were driving around and asked them if we could catch a ride down. They wouldn’t but gave us a pop tart to split. It was the best meal I’d ever had and the only one that day. /7

At this time we’re desperate and Bubba says if we just start walking east , we’d eventually end up at his dads house.

I knew better. I was an avid hunter. STAY ON THE ROAD. /8

Bubba isn’t too bright. The first time I took him fishing, literally on his first cast I had to surgically remove his 3 prong hook from my chest. But, I digress. /9

After a few hours of walking down the mountain I’m about ready to kill Bubba because everything that came out of his mouth was complete lunacy. /10

We finally run into a guy skiing and agrees to drive us down.

We get to his truck and I’m immediately sick because it’s a 2wd long bed. We get in and he starts driving and instantly wrecks. We push his truck out and try again. /11

After almost going over the side of the mountain and running into trees at least a half dozen times I finally said “care if I drive?”

He wouldn’t have it so I told Bubba, the next time he wrecks I’m walking. He wrecks and I get out and Bubba says “we just gonna leave him?” /12

I said “We tried to make him understand and he’d rather kill us and himself than listen “

The guy came to his senses and decided to walk with us. /13

We walked for hours and at this time I’ve already missed the funeral and it’s dark.

Also, both of our wives are pregnant with both of our first children, soooo.....they’ve already started going crazy.

This was before many people had cell phones. /15

We finally reached the bottom around midnight and run into some guys willing to give us a ride home, about an hour and a half drive.

On the way we find out these were the guys from the local news that got stuck on the mountain the year before. /16

These guys lived off of Taco Bell sauce packets FOR DAYS.

These guys said “Even we wouldn’t gone up the mountain today “ but hindsight is 20/20 for them too. /17

I’ll end this with, we got home safe and a team helped me retrieve my Bronco.

Needless to say, me and Bubba didn’t take many more trips together. End