Since coming out, I've been hit respectfully and disrespectfully hit on by:
-- hetero-identifying men who know I'm trans
-- hetero-identifying men who don't know it
-- queer men who know it
-- queer men who don't know it
-- hetero-identifying men who know I'm trans
-- hetero-identifying men who don't know it
-- queer men who know it
-- queer men who don't know it
Some were respectful in their flirtations. Others were not.
My experience as a trans woman is very, very common.
Never have I judged closeted (or uncloseted) hetero-identifying males or gay-identifying men who do not identify as bisexual.
Human sexuality is complex. However...
My experience as a trans woman is very, very common.
Never have I judged closeted (or uncloseted) hetero-identifying males or gay-identifying men who do not identify as bisexual.
Human sexuality is complex. However...
I do judge men who make me feel unsafe or objectified in their flirtations. That is never okay.
All I care about is being respected as a person. I am not interested in men but have had plenty of warm and respectful conversations with men who expressed interest.
All I care about is being respected as a person. I am not interested in men but have had plenty of warm and respectful conversations with men who expressed interest.
But the conversations that don't go well? They're insulting and dehumanizing because I have to account not only for said man's misogyny but his wounded vulnerability in how he's negotiating his internalized homophobia and/or transphobia. To say nothing of racism for TWOC.
I really wish more cis folks (non-queer or queer) understood this dynamic because it reflects, in an unsettling way, the constant danger to trans people presented by things we can't control, such as another person's insecurity over their sexuality.
When we mock healthy sexual interests--which are ALL sexual interests that are consensual--that reverberates throughout society. The shame you put on cis people for being attracted to trans people ultimately falls on trans people in ways that are violent and discriminatory.
You can draw a direct line between transphobia online and the way the rights (or lack thereof) of trans people are being targeted by our government and our safety in general.
And trans people of color? I can't imagine. That is a whole level of suffering I'll never experience.
And trans people of color? I can't imagine. That is a whole level of suffering I'll never experience.
It is imperative that you--wonderful, empathetic cis person--hold transphobia accountable in all forms. You are fighting back against the accumulated enabling of violence against us when you speak up. /thread
