Thread by @DanielleMuscato

It's the first ever International #PronounsDay! I'm so excited and I want you to be excited, too.

Here are a few things to know about pronouns:

1. Many #trans people, myself included, HAVE to out ourselves & tell people our pronouns, if we want others to gender us correctly.

YOU CAN HELP normalize this by doing a couple of REALLY simple things:

- Edit your Twitter & FB bio, email sig, etc to include your pronouns, whether you're #trans or not.

- ALWAYS introduce yourself with your name AND pronouns, eg: "I'm Danielle & my pronouns are she/her."

2. Understand that correct pronouns are NOT optional, nor a preference. In some jurisdictions, it's even against sex-based discrimination laws to misgender someone.

- NEVER say "preferred pronouns." It's not a preference. My pronouns are she/her; anything else is inaccurate.

3. IF YOU MAKE A MISTAKE, do EXACTLY this and ONLY this:

- "I was telling him—sorry, her—that she might consider asking a librarian for help" etc.

DO NOT make a big deal out of apologizing. Do not even pause. Just correct it and move on. Seriously, it's truly that simple.

4. If you don't know someone's pronouns, ASK. Here is how you ask someone's pronouns:

"Hey, what pronouns do you use?"
"She/her."
"Thanks."

It's that easy 💕

5. Never argue w someone about their pronouns—even if those pronouns are unfamiliar to you. That's for YOU to work on, on your own time.

DO NOT ask follow-up questions. Someone telling you their pronouns is NOT an invitation for a free, on-demand private lesson ab #trans issues.

6. If you don't know someone's pronouns, NEVER MAKE ASSUMPTIONS! If you don't know the correct ones, DEFAULT TO "THEY/THEM" or simply don't use any at all.

- "Someone left their sunglasses at the desk."
- "See that person over there? The person with the crop top & long red hair"

7. If you don't know someone's pronouns, DO NOT use honorifics like "sir," "ma'am" etc. Yes—even here in Kentucky!

If you're accustomed to calling elders, customers etc "sir/ma'am" it may feel impolite at first. But misgendering is MUCH WORSE. Just leave it off entirely instead.

8. Some people try several pronouns to find the right ones for them. Others have more than 1 set of pronouns they use, or even change which pronouns are right for them from day to day.

DON'T ARGUE. If someone tells you different pronouns 1 day to the next, just say "OK" & switch

9. Understand that using "obvious" pronouns is a form of #privilege. #Trans people are misgendered CONSTANTLY—it hurts to get called "sir," as a trans woman, when checking out at the grocery store, yes. It hurts a lot more to get called "sir" at a job interview. There's a reason

that trans women, according to data on the subject, experience a 1/3 drop in their income—and of course, coming out and transitioning involves huge expenses, on top of that.

Life is already hard for #trans people. Using the correct pronouns is free. YOU can make a difference.

Speaking of privilege—

If you liked this thread, & you want to help support my work as a full-time activist & public speaker, one way you can help is by using some of your privilege to support me in doing this work! You can make a monthly pledge here: patreon.com/daniellemuscato

However you choose to celebrate today, I hope this thread has been educational for you. Toward that end, I will now host a Q&A below.

Ask me anything #AMA about #trans/#LGBTQ issues, #pronouns, #PronounsDay/#PronounDay, my personal history being #transgender, or anything else 💕