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Richard de Nooy @RicharddeNooy
, 10 tweets, 2 min read Read on Twitter
Here’s a thread on swimming safety for beach lovers like @sindivanzyl and other holidaymakers heading to the coast. I’m sure my surfing and lifesaving followers will add further advice.

1. Always try to stay calm and conserve energy by floating on the surface.
2. If you are caught in a current that is taking you away from the beach, NEVER try to swim against it. You will lose. A current is usually a narrow band of water. Try to steer yourself out of it.
3. Or go with the flow, which will often take you out to calm water, beyond the waves. Surfers often use the current to get to this calm area and then paddle back towards the beach to catch the waves.
4. Waves can be your worst enemy or your best friend. It really depends on how big the waves are. It is almost always best to wait in the calm area, alternately floating (conserving energy) and waving for help. Certainly if there are people on the beach.
5. If you cannot alert anyone on the beach (which is very unlikely), remember that waves come in sets (seven or more) that vary in intensity. In between these sets are periods of calm, which you can use to swim more easily. Count and look carefully, then choose your moment.
6. Once you spot the pattern, you'll know what to expect. Swim during the periods of calm and maybe try to let the smaller waves wash you towards the beach.
7. The bigger waves are often in the middle of the set. You can feel them building. Take a deep breath and dive under the foam to let them wash over you. This is something you can practice in the waves closer to shore. If you understand how the sea 'works', it's more fun.
8. Most beaches are guarded. Swim between the flags the lifeguards have placed on the beach. If you're in the water and feel yourself floating outside the flagged area, don't panic and try to swim back in. Go with the flow of the current. (see point 3)
9. Lifeguards do NOT want to lose anyone on their watch. They will risk their lives to come out and save you or to wait with you until rescue comes. And then float ferfucksakes. Don't fight and flap and panic. Let your lovely lilo of a body be bumped gently back to shore.
My road-safety thread is a lot shorter.

1. Do not drink and drive.
2. Do not exceed speed limits.
3. The lines on the roads are there to keep you alive.
4. Do not drive at night.
5. Do not drive during the day.
6. Do not drive.
7. Stay at home.
8. Watch a movie about a holiday.
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