Thread by @giacomozucco

IMPORTANT THREAD!!!!!!!1!!1!
I was made aware of a catastrophic vulnerability that will kill Bitcoin for sure in a few hours. I'm dumping all my BTC to buy XRP, BSV, ETH & DCN, the only coins immune to this vulnerability (expecially DCN, it's the most immune)! Bitcoin is dead. :(

1) So, the whole thing started a few hours ago when I received a message from the future (year 2049), by Andrew DeSantis, over our time-simmetric-quantum-entanglement-based-messaging-protocol (TSQEMP, there's a plug-in for Telegram if you guys want to try it out, it's neat).
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2) The content of the message was a blockchain(dot)info screenshot with 3 arrows, 2 exclamation marks, 1 heart shape, 1 stylized penis & the Dirac equation. It was not obvious, but I run advanced AI-smart-contracts equipped w/ deep learning. The response was terrible & clear.
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3) Still, I couldn't be 100% sure (implications are huge, so I cannot rush judgement, also given my public role as opinion leader). I needed an expert to confirm it. A legit, reputable, knowledgeable, honest, no-bullshit infosec-guru. I forwarded the picture to Bryce Weiner.
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4) His answers were cryptic. Things like: "Eh, eh, you will see! Don't you imagine the answer yourself?" At first I was confused (I'll confess I even doubted he had any idea of what he was talking about), but then I realized this is just the way legit infosec experts talk.
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5) I will paste here his last message, so that you can understand what's happening by yourself: "You are all pieces of shit and I can prove it quantum-mathematically. But later. Now I feel hungry. I'm having waffles". As you can see, the death of Bitcoin is confirmed, sadly.
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6) While the technical impact were at this point painfully clear to me, I still had some doubts about the sociological one. I needed someone to help me evaluate longterm effects on society, politics, religion, arts, language, pornhub categories, etc. I needed an intellectual.
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7) I needed Chris DeRose. Here is the abstract of the 57362 pages paper he sent me. In order to fully appreciate his insight you should read the whole thing, not just the abstract, but the paper is just the abstract repeated 199 times anyway, so you can easily replicate it.
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8) "These vulnerabilities can only be avoided if our leaders get the governance right. The hoi polloi cannot create social distance from core, lacking a non-pious rethoric. Trusting inane priests and blaming literate blasphemes, social forms don't prostelatize abstinence ..."
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9) "Blockchains are orthodoxy: deviance is immoral. Swaps cannot occur without the regulatory compliance friction that incumbent systems require. Also, bcashers are the ones who say bcash, so joke's on you, sticks & stones, I know you are, but what am I? Please, debate me!!!"
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10) This confirmed my worst fears: Bitcoin is dead! I even double checked w/ the insightful paper by researchers Prof. Daniel Krawisz, Dr. Mike In Space, Dr. Craig Steven Wright, Prof. Kermit The Frog & Dr. Juan Joya El Risita Borja. Game over. May God have mercy upon our souls.

PS: somebody could wonder why would 199 repetitions of an abstract with the size of a couple of tweets would result in 57362 pages. The font used in the paper is impressive.