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Glen Weldon
@ghweldon
, 4 tweets, 1 min read Read on Twitter
NEW YORK: Oh, how did you FIND this place! It's so romantic!
AMAZON: ... yeah.
NEW YORK: The candelight! The violin! Oh and look they have a special Valentine's Day menu!
AMAZON: I made the reservation a long time ago. Look...
NEW YORK: Should we be naughty and get the oysters?
AMAZON: Look, I get that this isn't the best time, but there's something I've been meaning to say.
NEW YORK: You play your cards right, and tonight's gonna get PRET-tee spicy.
AMAZON: I can't do this.
NEW YORK: ...
AMAZON: I'm sorry, you're great, it's just ...
NEW YORK: WHAT.
AMAZON: I've decided I can't do ... this.
NEW YORK: YOU ARE BREAKING UP WITH ME.
AMAZON: It's just I need to grow, you know, organically.
NEW YORK: ON VALENTINE'S DAY.
AMAZON: We can still have a nice meal though. Like adults.
NEW YORK: PROMISES WERE MADE.
AMAZON: Or you know not
NEW YORK: IS THIS ABOUT NORTHERN VIRGINIA. ARE YOU FUCKING NORTHERN VIRGINIA.
AMAZON: No! God, no! ... There was some flirting.
NEW YORK: I KNEW IT. "VIRGINIA" HA! MORE LIKE ... SLUTTINIA.
AMAZON: ... What?
NEW YORK: SHUT UP
AMAZON: This isn't about NoVa. It's-
NEW YORK: "NOVA?"
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Glen Weldon
@ghweldon
The only rom-com meet-cute I will tolerate is two tiny but jacked male gymnasts on a bus on their way to a ... meet? and one of them leans over to the other because the first one is blasting COMPANY on his headphones so loud that the other can tell it’s the London cast.
HIT ME UP HOLLYWOOD
The 2nd act complication is they disagree on the execution of the phrasing and diction of “Getting Married Today”
Read 4 tweets
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Glen Weldon
@ghweldon
“Can’t stop me NOW” that “now” as a reason I, an abject boring. weep with pure unadulterated joy -
Is there a gay club in DC playing this? Because there should be. Because WOW it would be nothing but emotilonally vulnerable gay guys.
The joy. The JOY.

When I watched this the first time I reached across to grasp F’s thigh to say “This is important, this means something” and my hand bumped into his as it was reaching across to grasp my thigh to say the very same thing
Read 4 tweets
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Glen Weldon
@ghweldon
gurl needs to blend
Read 3 tweets

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Hey #Ohio
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