Thread by @ghweldon

NEW YORK: Oh, how did you FIND this place! It's so romantic!
AMAZON: ... yeah.
NEW YORK: The candelight! The violin! Oh and look they have a special Valentine's Day menu!
AMAZON: I made the reservation a long time ago. Look...
NEW YORK: Should we be naughty and get the oysters?

AMAZON: Look, I get that this isn't the best time, but there's something I've been meaning to say.
NEW YORK: You play your cards right, and tonight's gonna get PRET-tee spicy.
AMAZON: I can't do this.
NEW YORK: ...
AMAZON: I'm sorry, you're great, it's just ...
NEW YORK: WHAT.

AMAZON: I've decided I can't do ... this.
NEW YORK: YOU ARE BREAKING UP WITH ME.
AMAZON: It's just I need to grow, you know, organically.
NEW YORK: ON VALENTINE'S DAY.
AMAZON: We can still have a nice meal though. Like adults.
NEW YORK: PROMISES WERE MADE.
AMAZON: Or you know not

NEW YORK: IS THIS ABOUT NORTHERN VIRGINIA. ARE YOU FUCKING NORTHERN VIRGINIA.
AMAZON: No! God, no! ... There was some flirting.
NEW YORK: I KNEW IT. "VIRGINIA" HA! MORE LIKE ... SLUTTINIA.
AMAZON: ... What?
NEW YORK: SHUT UP
AMAZON: This isn't about NoVa. It's-
NEW YORK: "NOVA?"