, 11 tweets, 2 min read Read on Twitter

If you are dependent on someone, you will spend your time on improving his/her life rather than yours.

Being independent doesn’t mean not to rely on others.

It means to rely on others because you want, not because you need.

Independence isn’t to be confused with isolation. It doesn’t mean to be alone; it means to be able to withstand your own responsibilities alone, if need is.

Being independent doesn’t mean not to help others.

It means to help them only in the measure in which it makes them more independent, and to refuse to help them when it would make them more dependent on you (unless the need is critical).

Being independent means to take the time to develop yourself.

This is important because events will happen. How a given event will affect you depends on your degree of development.

The more you depend on others, the more you will try to make them more dependent on you.

This is subtle & will lead to both of you sacrificing time to improve your own selves, creating a vicious circle of need and dependence, until you become fully vulnerable to any event

To break dependence you need to realize that the others need you independent.

Only by being independent you can truly develop yourself, and others *wish* for a more developed version of yourself.

The way to break dependence is to develop yourself so that you have alternatives (without necessarily using them).

Becoming good enough to know that you would have another job were your boss to fire you is a necessary condition for you to be able to do great work.

Becoming fit, interesting & charming enough to know that other people *would* consider you a worthy partner is a necessary condition for you to act independently enough in your own relationship to keep the fires of passion ignited.

Making friends funny & interesting enough to know that you can have a good time without drinking is a necessary condition to quit social drinking.

And so on…

In general, developing your self in order to be able to afford alternatives (without having to use them) is the way out of dependence.

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