Thread by @elnathan_john

See, I keep saying there needs to be a quarantine center for Nigerians before they are released to the world. A large percent of what we consider normal behaviour is horrible toxic violent and intrusive. The shit you have to unlearn as a Nigerian is a lot!

I was at a dinner in Berlin and there were people from at least 5 countries. The only other Nigerian (man from Lagos) walked into the kitchen of the lesbian couple who invited us and instead of helping, told them: "That's really good. I like seeing women cook."
I was mortified.

I saw the horror on their faces. They did not know what to do with his comment. And he just carried on like there was nothing. Meanwhile the rest of us were helping move things from the kitchen to the living room. He was like women these days don't like cooking.

The host who was my friend looked at me like, what's up with that? And I was like:

Then everyone was talking about what they were writing, studying or researching. And when I said I was teaching a course on Masculinities and 'Yan Daudu, he went into a rant about how he knew them when he was in Kano and started saying homophobic things. In a gay person's house!

You could see that he had no clue what he was saying was offensive. (Also I strongly believe he thought the lesbian couple were just roommates even though it was obvious they were a couple. He kept referring to her partner as "your friend")

The way Nigerians touch strangers, have no respect for personal space, or for privacy... people think it is normal. This is why during that anti-harassment campaign in markets those traders couldn't see what was wrong with touching women customers. We fix bra straps for strangers

This is why y'all are even having a debate about whether it is ok as a man to tell your job interviewer that she smells nice.
If you, a man, wouldn't say it to a male interviewer, then don't do it. Simple. There is no debate here. It is just that Nigerians have blurred lines.

Nigerians have blurred lines about everything. From rape to murder.

I have told this story about how a Nigerian who attended my reading in Vienna, spoke up against me saying that why was I obsessed with Shiite deaths. That they deserved it. That they needed a "strong hand".

I reminded him that he lives in Europe where even Neo Nazis get police protection when they organise a rally or protest.

He said yeah, but you know our people are not that developed. Sometimes you need to handle them with a strong hand. IN FRONT OF WHITE PIPU. I was like:

Another Nigerian in Berlin when we were discussing the massacre by soldiers, was like, "but don't you think they kind of deserve it?" His exact words.

Don't get me started on the people who think you cannot rape your wife.

Our public discourse is shocking if you aren't numb.

Makes me remember an incident I never forgot re personal space. Some aunties were preparing for a wedding and one younger woman came in and they started talking of breast sizes. One swore the young woman had none. One aunty just reached into the woman's blouse and felt her up.

The woman said feebly: "aunty, stop". The other women laughed. No biggie. And the aunty confirmed that indeed she had no breasts but that with pregnancy she might have something for a baby. I was just like how is this normal?

Anyway, in a country where you have to explain (often unsuccessfully) to men that you can rape your wife, there is probably no point talking about the inappropriateness of certain "compliments".