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Right so I've been away. Can anyway explain to me exactly what the fuck is going on with the Spelman amendment?
Also: Switch on parliamentary debate. IDS talking shite. Baker gets up. Gibbers a bunch of shite. IDS chats shite back. Quickly feel all sense of hope of happiness drain from the body.
Majestic speech by Jess Phillips. "The reasons people voted Leave are plentiful and I'm not going to pretend that they all agree with me." Genuinely so refreshing to hear an MP refuse to project their own views on voters.
"The people who voted Leave in my area - who I am not scared of, and if they don't like the things I say, do you know what? I believe in parliamentary democracy and they can get rid of me."
Redwood then gets up and lazily - seemingly half awake - does exactly what Phillips just criticised. "17.4 people voted to leave...." and off he goes.
"Calling certain views certain names is not helpful to a grown-up debate. This is not a no-deal Brexit we're talking about. It's a many-deals Brexit."
Quite impressive. Let's break that down.
Redwood is now apparently against the concept of naming arguments. But he only believes in this view for a matter of seconds, because he then immediately uses the name 'Brexit', and then goes on develop an entirely new name of 'many-deals Brexit'.
'Many-deals Brexit' is also a very bad name on account of the fact that it is a) ugly and b) completely misleading.
Whereas 'no-deal Brexit' has the considerable advantage of accurately describing the act of Brexit without a deal.
Liam 'Disgraced Former' Fox is currently wrapping up in the Commons.
Worth remembering: If May hadn't called a snap election, she'd have another three months to play with.
God he's talking a lot of dogshit.
Toxic response from Fox to the brilliant MP Wera Wobhouse. She was brave and insightful enough to describe the dangers of a political viewpoint which talks about the imaginary 'will of the people'. Fox angrily tries to present her as an enemy of democracy.
Bercow clearing up Spelman amendment issue. Spelman backs out. But Cooper, who was a signatory. She pushes it.
Division. MPs will now vote on it.
This is the amendment by the way. 
To be clear, the amendment does not stop no-deal. But it instructs the govt to avoid it and erases the ambiguity and facing-two-ways garbled nonsense of the govt motion.
It contains no mechanism to prevent no-deal, but this is less important right now, because we have votes on extension tomorrow.
This is all so tiring and frightful and inane.
Anyway. Votes. This one will be tight.
Amendment passes: 312 votes to 308.
That's marvellous and really very funny.
MPs now voting on the Malthouse amendment on parting the tides in the English Channel and setting up frictionless trade drones under a GATT24 standstill transition.
Or something.
On the Cooper amendment: This does not rule out no-deal. It has no mechanism and anyway no-deal is default on March 29th, or at whichever date the extended Article 50 window ends if extension granted. No real effect.
However. The govt refused a free vote on this. It whipped against it. It pushed a motion which looked two ways at once in that typically cautious contorted manner May always has. It's own author was pressured into trying to retract it. It passed anyway.
That's encouraging. Suggests a stiffening resolve to prevent no-deal in the Commons. We'll need all of that for the hard choices to come.
Also: It'll be really fucking interesting to see if any ministers voted for it. And what'll happen if they did.
Lots out there worrying about the margin. You shouldn't. The govt whipped against this motion. Was going to be tight either way.
Anyone voting for Malthouse is an idiot, by definition. So this amendment provides a public service by creating a specific numerical test for just how foolish British politics has become.
Incredible. Govt now seemingly whipping against their own motion because it has the Spelman-Cooper amendment attached to it. That effectively forces ministers to resign or vote against their conscience.
Brexit: A daily apocalypse shitshow in slow motion.
Malthouse amendment rejected by 164 to 374
There are at least 164 MPs who are fundamentally and irretrievably idiotic. Good to put a number on it.
Division on the amended motion now. All hell is about to break loose.
In the space of about half an hour the govt has now started whipping its MPs against opposing no-deal and is therefore I guess kinda supporting no-deal? Haha. Fuck knows.
Literally none of it means anything. it is a shower of shite.
I don't even know how you try to write a straight news report on this.
Pretty much either result here is funny.
Motion passes 321 to 278
Hahahahahahaha
This is the best telly since the election
May is up, can barely speak.
"The legal default in UK and EU law remains that UK will leave EU without a deal unless something else is agreed". She can barely speak. Commons vigorously mocking her.
She tries to run through options. None of that is pertinent.
May confirms motion on extension of Article 50 as "logical consequence" of these votes.
May basically says she's going to try for her deal before March 29th. "If House finds a way to support a deal..."
May says a deal would mean a short technical extension. But without a deal, the extension will be longer and therefore requires participation in European elections.
She's basically using it to bully ERG into backing her deal.
Corbyn up. "Extending A50 without a clear objective is not a solution. Parliament must now take ocntrol of the situation." Says he is looking for compromise solution with members across the House.
Benn calls for "the government to respect the democratic instruction of the House of Commons."
He cites Speaker's statement saying he will ensure House debates what it wishes to debate. Links this to indicative votes. Speaker says: "I stand by that."
Caroline Lucas: "I wonder how the PM has the brass neck to come to this Chamber and say we should be worried about losing fragile trust when she herself is responsible for losing the trust of this parliament and this country."
"She has just whipped her members to vote against the deal which yesterday she stood at that despatch box and promised would be a free vote."
Brexiters, I've thought about this a bit and I think your idea might be shit.
Clarke is up. He said plan was no-deal vote one day and then extension the next. "Plain implication that the govt was going to accept the decision of the House and act on it."
"As soon as the House expressed its opinion on no-deal the govt attempted to quash it... with a complete lack of success, so the majority actually soared."
"Can we have assurance from somebody that tomorrow's debate is actually intended to set policy?"
Speaker: "My understanding is the same as his. That was the clear commitment."
Angela Eagle: The House has spoken. But the govt has not said they will amend statute in response.
(The March 29th date is not just in EU law by Article 50, but also domestic law, because the govt, in a typically idiotic symbolic move, chucked it in the withdrawal bill last year)
Ok that was interesting as fuck.
Bercow reads out govt motion on extension for tomorrow. It proposes extending A50 until June 30th
But that is only if the Commons has passed a deal by March 20th.
The it states that if not, it is "highly likely" the EU Council will need to consider the request, and what it is for and that UK will have to take part in European elections.
However, that motion is amendable. Bercow putting heavy emphasis on that.
Sorry for slow updates on that, had to hear it several times to get it right.
That's it then. May is going for another go. She is trying to scare the ERG into support by referring to a long extension and European elections. And she's going to put it down again before March 20th.
What an unspeakably cynical fucking turgid stitch-up.
This whole scene is simply astonishing.
OK so now we know the plan: Bring the deal back, bully ERG into voting for it. This is her last gamble.
I don't think EU will offer any changes - they have certainly said they won't. Govt will be hoping attorney general changes his advice. But even if he doesn't, the ERG are, I think, quite likely to break and finally support the deal.
This is going to get extremely fucking tense for the next week. However, there are three obstacles.
1) That motion on extension tomorrow is amendable. Let's see what MPs do to it tomorrow, after they have stood their ground rather admirably today.
2) It is not clear that Bercow will allow - or even can allow - the govt to put a motion down on the deal again if there have been no changes to it. I'll look into the exact rules on that tomorrow. Health warning on it for now.
3) Even if the ERG & DUP come on board, that deal is still unlikely to pass. There are probably, just about, enough Tory rebels to stop it.
Ok I'm going to write this up. Fuck knows how. Thread closed for now.
May loses a vote against herself in a crazed night of parliamentary drama politics.co.uk/blogs/2019/03/…
For all of you confused about what in the name of living fuck just happened, here's the full run-down.
Each step of tonight's insanity, all the govt's bizarre unforced errors, that grim sting in the tail on May's last gambit - and an assessment of what the hell happens now.
Now, if I can just say from the bottom of my heart: fuck this shit. I am hungry and tired. This dreadfulness must pause for a moment. Back at it tomorrow.
