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Day 1001 in the Big Brexit House.
Theresa May blames all the house mates for being nominated - and faces eviction on Friday.
Meanwhile Corbyn will only talk to the chickens having refused to meet with rest of the housemates to discuss the impending no deal rations.
Theresa May blames all the house mates for being nominated - and faces eviction on Friday.
Meanwhile Corbyn will only talk to the chickens having refused to meet with rest of the housemates to discuss the impending no deal rations.
11.59pm and Boris is alone by the pool contemplating whether to leave the Big Brexit House.
Theresa May is robot dancing nearby.
Seemingly Boris resolves his leaving dilemma shouting ‘fu*k Big Brexit ’ then dive bombs the pool.
Theresa May is robot dancing nearby.
Seemingly Boris resolves his leaving dilemma shouting ‘fu*k Big Brexit ’ then dive bombs the pool.
1.01am
Nadine Dorris is in the kitchen clutching a bottle British white wine.
Big Brexit House No Deal rations come into force after the possible eviction of Theresa May on Fri.
Nadine finds comfort from the fact a bowl of bendy bananas haven’t yet been eaten.
Nadine Dorris is in the kitchen clutching a bottle British white wine.
Big Brexit House No Deal rations come into force after the possible eviction of Theresa May on Fri.
Nadine finds comfort from the fact a bowl of bendy bananas haven’t yet been eaten.
1.30am
Dominic Rabb and Rees Mogg are in the bathroom sharing a bubble bath.
There’s is much excitement as they discuss tactics for tomorrow’s Big Brexit House task which involves creating a hard border in the house.
Dominic Rabb and Rees Mogg are in the bathroom sharing a bubble bath.
There’s is much excitement as they discuss tactics for tomorrow’s Big Brexit House task which involves creating a hard border in the house.
3.44am
The outcasts are in the smoking area discussing which housemate to nominate next.
Both Soubry and Chuka discuss nominating Theresa May again if she doesn’t get evicted on Friday
After some powerful speeches they resolve a Housemates Vote is the only way foward.
The outcasts are in the smoking area discussing which housemate to nominate next.
Both Soubry and Chuka discuss nominating Theresa May again if she doesn’t get evicted on Friday
After some powerful speeches they resolve a Housemates Vote is the only way foward.
5.05am
All housemates are asleep except Theresa May who is in the No Deal Diary Room.
Theresa tells Big Brexit Brother nothings changed since her nomination and states no eviction is better than a bad eviction.
Theresa also demands another public vote if she’s evicted.
All housemates are asleep except Theresa May who is in the No Deal Diary Room.
Theresa tells Big Brexit Brother nothings changed since her nomination and states no eviction is better than a bad eviction.
Theresa also demands another public vote if she’s evicted.
6.01am
Corbyn is the first to wake up but is unsure whether he ought to get out of bed.
Corbyn nudges Starmer and asks what he thinks.
Starmer reminds Corbyn the membership voted for him stay in bed until 9am.
Corbyn condemns all forms of mornings and gets up anyway.
Corbyn is the first to wake up but is unsure whether he ought to get out of bed.
Corbyn nudges Starmer and asks what he thinks.
Starmer reminds Corbyn the membership voted for him stay in bed until 9am.
Corbyn condemns all forms of mornings and gets up anyway.
9am
Brexit Big Brother wakes up the housemates by playing Will Young ‘Leave Right Now’.
Liam Fox and David Davis jump up on their beds in their boxer shorts, grab a hair brush and sing along.
They are rather pleased with their performance - as was Andrea Leadsom.
Brexit Big Brother wakes up the housemates by playing Will Young ‘Leave Right Now’.
Liam Fox and David Davis jump up on their beds in their boxer shorts, grab a hair brush and sing along.
They are rather pleased with their performance - as was Andrea Leadsom.
10am
Ken Clarke walks into the kitchen to make cup of tea observing the absolute state of Brexit House kitchen.
Muttering something about 'a house full of children' Ken tries to find a clean cup. Instead Ken opts for wine glass and then whistles The Great Escape theme tune.
Ken Clarke walks into the kitchen to make cup of tea observing the absolute state of Brexit House kitchen.
Muttering something about 'a house full of children' Ken tries to find a clean cup. Instead Ken opts for wine glass and then whistles The Great Escape theme tune.
10.30am
Yvette Cooper calls a Big Brexit House meeting.
Cooper proposes housemates tidy up their own mess or a house motion is created and chores applied.
Theresa May reminds everyone of girl jobs and boys jobs.
Rees Mogg raises point order - asks why there are no cleaners?
Yvette Cooper calls a Big Brexit House meeting.
Cooper proposes housemates tidy up their own mess or a house motion is created and chores applied.
Theresa May reminds everyone of girl jobs and boys jobs.
Rees Mogg raises point order - asks why there are no cleaners?
Day 1002 in the Big Brexit House.
It’s eviction night and Theresa May is only housemate up for eviction.
Theresa is confident she will secure a strong and stable result ..
.. and that her departure will still be as the winner Brexit Big Brother on the final night.
It’s eviction night and Theresa May is only housemate up for eviction.
Theresa is confident she will secure a strong and stable result ..
.. and that her departure will still be as the winner Brexit Big Brother on the final night.
11am
Theresa May is in the No Deal Diary Room negotiating an extension to her nomination for eviction.
Meanwhile housemates scurry round debating potential Amendments to the Withdrawal Eviction Act - that might allow them to take over Brexit Big Brother position for a day.
Theresa May is in the No Deal Diary Room negotiating an extension to her nomination for eviction.
Meanwhile housemates scurry round debating potential Amendments to the Withdrawal Eviction Act - that might allow them to take over Brexit Big Brother position for a day.
12am
Dominic Rabb is still preoccupied with upcoming ‘Create a Hard Border in the Big Brexit House’ task.
Rabb considers placing hard border at the door of the Big Brexit House toilet.
Rabb believes alternative arrangements can be made for those wanting use the toilet.
Dominic Rabb is still preoccupied with upcoming ‘Create a Hard Border in the Big Brexit House’ task.
Rabb considers placing hard border at the door of the Big Brexit House toilet.
Rabb believes alternative arrangements can be made for those wanting use the toilet.
12.30pm
The outcasts are hiding in storeroom discussing new housemates.
Chuka tells Soubry they don’t seem have anything common with rest housemates but new housemates will bring radical Brexit House reform.
Chuka whispers ‘more rebels’ into Soubry ear and then grins.
The outcasts are hiding in storeroom discussing new housemates.
Chuka tells Soubry they don’t seem have anything common with rest housemates but new housemates will bring radical Brexit House reform.
Chuka whispers ‘more rebels’ into Soubry ear and then grins.
What the Brexit Housemates do not know is there will be 2 new housemates after tonight’s eviction.
The 2 new housemates will be on a secret task to convince housemates that there is a Brexit House Dividend 300 million pounds.
New housemates arrive tonight in a red bus.
The 2 new housemates will be on a secret task to convince housemates that there is a Brexit House Dividend 300 million pounds.
New housemates arrive tonight in a red bus.
1pm
Liam Fox and David Davis are in kitchen preparing housemates dinner and they find a chlorinated chicken in the fridge.
Liam tells David that Roast Chicken dinner is the easiest dinner to make in history.
David ruffles his hair and nods.
Liam Fox and David Davis are in kitchen preparing housemates dinner and they find a chlorinated chicken in the fridge.
Liam tells David that Roast Chicken dinner is the easiest dinner to make in history.
David ruffles his hair and nods.
1.56pm
Big Brexit Brother announces housemates have broken Brexit house rules.
Under the Withdrawl Eviction Act it is not possible to nominate the same person for a third time.
The eviction tonight will be CANCELLED.
There will be another public vote *maybe* next week.
Big Brexit Brother announces housemates have broken Brexit house rules.
Under the Withdrawl Eviction Act it is not possible to nominate the same person for a third time.
The eviction tonight will be CANCELLED.
There will be another public vote *maybe* next week.
1.57pm
Theresa May storms off to the No Deal Diary Room to complain about will of the people being frustrated by the cancelled vote and failure provide a proper Big Brexit show.
Big Brexit Brother reassures Theresa Big Brexit ends on 29th March and that the clock is ticking.
Theresa May storms off to the No Deal Diary Room to complain about will of the people being frustrated by the cancelled vote and failure provide a proper Big Brexit show.
Big Brexit Brother reassures Theresa Big Brexit ends on 29th March and that the clock is ticking.
Rees Mogg, David Davis, Andrea Leadsom are on the sun loungers admiring the sunlit uplands.
They appear unconcerned about the cancelled public vote.
David says he will not let downsides affect his experience Big Brexit House and plans on experiencing the considerable upsides.
They appear unconcerned about the cancelled public vote.
David says he will not let downsides affect his experience Big Brexit House and plans on experiencing the considerable upsides.
2.15pm
Boris is in the storeroom stealing more toilet roll.
There appears to be a stockpile of toilet roll hidden under his bed.
Boris is in the storeroom stealing more toilet roll.
There appears to be a stockpile of toilet roll hidden under his bed.
3pm
Housemates are gathered garden for the 'Put a Hard Border in the Big Brexit House' task.
Dominic Rabb successfully places his personal choice of hard border at the toilet door but instantly regrets his decision confessing he hadn't realised how important the toilet was.
Housemates are gathered garden for the 'Put a Hard Border in the Big Brexit House' task.
Dominic Rabb successfully places his personal choice of hard border at the toilet door but instantly regrets his decision confessing he hadn't realised how important the toilet was.
3.17pm
Housemates are upset with Dominic Rabb because he chose to put a hard border at the toilet door.
A Big Brexit House meeting is called to ask what the alternative arrangements will be.
Nobody really knows but David Davis suggested technological solutions.
Housemates are upset with Dominic Rabb because he chose to put a hard border at the toilet door.
A Big Brexit House meeting is called to ask what the alternative arrangements will be.
Nobody really knows but David Davis suggested technological solutions.
4.01pm
Big Brexit Brother announces a Big Brexit House bash tonight to cheer everyone up after the cancelled public votes that *might* happen again next week.
Party games include 'kicking the can down the road'.
Theresa May is pleased.
Big Brexit Brother announces a Big Brexit House bash tonight to cheer everyone up after the cancelled public votes that *might* happen again next week.
Party games include 'kicking the can down the road'.
Theresa May is pleased.
7pm
The Big Brexit bash is in full swing.
Nadine Dorries is dancing to The Final Countdown.
David Davis, Liam Fox and Rees Mogg are in the garden contemplating the hot tub.
Meanwhile Corbyn is in the No Deal Diary room suspecting some housemates are playing a long game.
The Big Brexit bash is in full swing.
Nadine Dorries is dancing to The Final Countdown.
David Davis, Liam Fox and Rees Mogg are in the garden contemplating the hot tub.
Meanwhile Corbyn is in the No Deal Diary room suspecting some housemates are playing a long game.
*If you are reading this tweet on demand please do not vote as your vote may not be counted if it is an online petition*
Tom on Big Brexit Brother 2 new housemates will arrive on a red bus - with a secret task convince others that there is a Brexit House Dividend.
Tom on Big Brexit Brother 2 new housemates will arrive on a red bus - with a secret task convince others that there is a Brexit House Dividend.
