Profile picture
David Burge
@iowahawkblog
, 12 tweets, 2 min read Read on Twitter
I take it all back
☑️non-stop sword chopsocky
☑️flaming hordes of unstoppable zombies
☑️dragon dogfights
☑️skulls flying to and fro
☑️wheelchair kid tripping balls
☑️sucker-stabbing ninja kids
9/10, would DVR again
if I was some poor conscripted schmo up there on the castle roof trying to repel an army of the dead, and then some dick starts yelling at me "hold that line!" I'm like, what does it look like I'm trying to do asshole
How 'bout a little help here, Ser Cheerleader
Just saying if I was a grunt in the Knight Corps, I'd start questioning how all these horseback princes and princesses leading the charge always somehow seem to walk away with a suspiciously quick-healing dab of blood on the forehead
"Do not fear, lads! I wield the mystical Zombiebane, the Valerian Steel broadsword of my royal forefathers, and a quiver of dragonstone arrows!"
Cool what do we get
"uh I don't know, you're peasants right? Use your hoes or whatever"
uhhh hey man we have a few question
"Sorry, my loyal brave lads, I'm off to ride dragons and bang my aunt"
I dunno, I'd have to go with people who jump your timeline with meta-commentary on GoT commentary
My biggest takeaway from that episode: Cersei's going to regret not campaigning in Wisconsin
RIP NiKi, you were too beautiful for this world
if I was a Stark I'd be saving all those Night King ice cubes, because think how badass a Night King margarita would be
Knights: The White Walkers are defeated! Today we feast and drink wine!
Approximately 23 surviving peasants with missing limbs: unghh huzzah
Knights: not you guys, somebody's got to rebury all these stanky ass zombies
Missing some Tweet in this thread?
You can try to force a refresh.

Like this thread? Get email updates or save it to PDF!

Subscribe to David Burge
Profile picture

Get real-time email alerts when new unrolls are available from this author!

This content may be removed anytime!

Twitter may remove this content at anytime, convert it as a PDF, save and print for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video

1) Follow Thread Reader App on Twitter so you can easily mention us!

2) Go to a Twitter thread (series of Tweets by the same owner) and mention us with a keyword "unroll" @threadreaderapp unroll

You can practice here first or read more on our help page!

More from @iowahawkblog see all

Profile picture
David Burge
@iowahawkblog
I seriously don't know what's worse, bachelorette party tourists or NFL draft tourists
quick romcom pitch: redneck bride-to-be travels to Nashville for bachelorette party, goes to Buffalo Wild Wings and is swept off her feet by 47 year old fat dude in Atlanta Falcons jersey who lives with his mom
in the climactic sex scene, he's monitoring Mel Kiper's Best Remaining Picks on the hotel TV while she takes his virginity
Read 15 tweets
Profile picture
David Burge
@iowahawkblog
happy belated (and abbreviated) #IowahawkEarthWeek 2019, where we celebrate Mother Earth's bounty of life-sustaining dinosaur juice. Share pics of your best internal combustion vehicles - YOURS, because this is all about taking personal ownership for the environment.
on Saturday I will announce the top contestant as #IowahawkEarthWeek's Grand Champion Carbonator of 2019. To kick things off, here is my Sweet Bird of Uncouth, 1966 Ford Thunderbird with 428 cubes of planet warming Detroit love
scoring will be based on RTs, FAVs, fuel consumption, and flair, with bonus points awarded for age of vehicle. Recycle & reuse y'all! Dave's faves will get the coveted RT from yours truly
Read 8 tweets
Profile picture
David Burge
@iowahawkblog
1/460
I swear to god I will do this ALL. DAY. LONG.
2/ 3/ 4/ 5/
Read 12 tweets

Related threads

Profile picture
Pierrec et Laureline
@Oujevipo
Back in 1996, french singer Etienne Daho had an usual idea : to include a video game in his new CD album "Eden". Yep, you guessed it : here comes a twitter thread !
The CD was split in two partitions, one for the music, one for the game. This was called an “extra cd” or “enhanced cd”.
The game was developed by Cryo Interactive Entertainment. It was coded in assembly-language in a few months and was derived from Riverworld, which was in development at the time.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Riverworl…
Read 101 tweets
Profile picture
Jon Trickett
@jon_trickett
This zombie Government has stopped even pretending to govern; it is preoccupied only with its party's survival. There hasn't been a single vote in the Commons all week.
On Monday they withdrew a finance bill in the Commons half an hour before it was due to be presented. They knew that they didn’t have a majority of MPs to get their business through.
The Prime Minister is trying to convince us that the reduction of police by 20000 officers has had no impact on knife crime - directly contradicted by the Met Police Chief (I know who I trust).
Read 8 tweets
Profile picture
Gene Peterson
@EuginhoCortez
Stop arguing with Buharists..

Stop arguing with APC people.

Stop making moral appeals and arguments.

Learn to recognize when people have calmly decided to embrace Evil and work out what adjustments you have to make.

Calm down and ruthlessly make decisions on what you will do
Stop arguing with Temi Okomi and co.

There's nothing you can tell these people.
They have had a long internal conversation and coldbloodedly made a decision.

They have made their peace with whatever this thing costs you and your families.

Calm down and stop being emotional.
Stop sharing your angry emotions with Buharists and APC people.

Isolate them.
The first thing you do in this situation is ISOLATE the enemy.

They feed on your pain. Take a step back so you can think.

There are different ways to inflict deep-seated damage. Calm down.
Read 6 tweets
Profile picture
Dylan Wilbanks, Human Grumpy Cat
@dylanw
Non UX and IA people, bear with me. I've been talking to a number of people in and around @iainstitute and @theiaconf about this ongoing crisis. I'm going to say a few things now that will make me more enemies, but honestly I'm out of fucks.
The big takeaway is the problem is not the IA Conference, the former IA Foundation, the IA Institute board, and certainly not WIAD. It lies entirely with one person: IA Institute President Marianne Sweeny.
Were there problems with how the IA Foundation handled the investigation of the known bad actor? No. Were there problems with their process? Oh hell yeah. It's why I declined a role with IAC19. It's why this thread happened:
Read 19 tweets
Profile picture
Alan Feuer
@alanfeuer
A jaw-dropping twist this morning to the story of the Colombian IT guy who helped the FBI crack El Chapo's encrypted comms network.
He also helped the feds tap the kingpin's texts w/his wiife, Emma Coronel, taking us deep into the intimacies (and crimes) of their marriage.
The texts are mind-boggling.
One moment, the couple is cooing over how cute their twin daughters are and talking about Emma's enchiladas, the next their talking about whether Chapo's soldiers were slaughtered in a gunfight.
We see texts from the aftermath of Chapo's escape from a police raid in Los Cabos in 2012. He describes how he saw the cops pounding the door of a nearby house and was able to jump out the window just in time.
"Oh love, that's horrible," Emma write.
Read 19 tweets
Profile picture
Malarăsculat.
@caselchris1
As a Dalit woman, the last few days of India’s #MeToo have been both triggering and confusing. I’ve tried to follow it as much as I can and the more I do, I realise how important it is to have a conversation on value.
How are we (as women/non-men) valued in relationships, at work, inside our homes, and in our communities? And who are the ones determining this value? #MeToo
To me, that’s what #MeToo is all about - it ultimately boils down to whether women/non-men are treated as people who have feelings, a body, and a spirit. The fact that so many women, albeit from non-Dalit backgrounds, are outing men for their horrific behaviors +
Read 22 tweets

Trending hashtags

#bigdaga #VoteDemsOut #topoli #Dalitwomen #Ukraine #aii #ENDsancuaryCities #OwnVoices #VoterFraud #thatjusthappened #CrisisActors #TaxScam #RTWEET #VOTE #autistic #FireMcCabe #REWEET #autism #smartcites #PolicingInCollapse #NAFTA #espionage #EndDACA #TrumpShutdown #smartcities
Follow Us on Twitter!

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!

This site is made by just three indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3.00/month or $30.00/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Too expensive? Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal Become our Patreon

Thank you for your support!