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My life would be very different without access to abortion. When I was 22, a woman I was seeing got pregnant. She was almost 20. I was still in college. We worked together at a bar and had been sleeping together for maybe 5 or 6 weeks.
I came of sex-consciousness in the height of the AIDS years, and protection is something I take very seriously. She couldn't take the pill for health reasons, but we used condoms every time and never had one break. Most of the time, we used condoms with spermicide.
After 5 or 6 weeks, things got weird and I broke up with her. About 10 days later, she asked if we could talk after our shift. I knew before she told me that she was pregnant. She had already had the decision to have an abortion by the time she told me.
The night before the procedure I spent the night (no sex!) at her request and tried to be present for her. I felt a lot of emotions, a lot of sadness, but also clarity that this was the right thing for everyone.
Her family was from a small town and very Evangelical. She grew up going to anti-abortion protests. She made her choice--and yes, it's her choice and no one else's--knowing if her parents found out they'd likely disown her.
She and I tried to be friends. I tried to support her. Things got very weird and very toxic in ways neither of us had the tools to deal with effectively. I can only imagine how bad it would have been with the stress of a baby.
Other than having sex out of wedlock, we did what you're supposed to do. We used protection, we were careful, but she got pregnant anyway. Having a child would have been terrible for everyone. Thankfully, we weren't forced into that situation.
We're both parents now, with kids who benefit from parents with emotional capacity (and financial stability) to care for them. At 22, I had none of the tools, and the two of us were definitely not going to be a couple that worked.
I'm glad she made that choice. I'm glad the choice was available, safe, affordable, and easy to access. I'm horrified that there are (mostly white male) Republicans trying to deny that choice to millions of women.
Abortion is healthcare. Abortion is economic and social choice. More than anything else, abortion is a right to self determination. Pregnancy and parenthood shouldn't be forced on anyone, whether they were "responsibly" having sex or being careless.
There are a lot of good places to give money to help fight this nonsense that's going on. I gave to the yellowhammer fund, and I encourage you to find a fund to support. For some reason my phone won't paste the damn link here, but it's easy to find a place to give.
(Since several folks have raised it, "sex out of wedlock" was intended to convey an 🙄 at the notion, but I didn't land the tone. Sex is something two or more people have, mostly for pleasure, and I'm all for everyone having whatever sex they want to as long as it's consensual)
