Thread by @JenReadsRomance

Good evening. I read PART TIME HUSBAND by Noelle Adams. This is a finalist in the contemporary mid-length category.

amzn.to/2ECqGSF

The heroine is Melissa Greyson. She's 28 and works for her grandfather's company. Since Pop is a controlling old geezer, he tells her that he's going to take her job from her if she doesn't produce a husband STAT.

In order to fulfill the letter of the law, Melissa asks one of Pop's business enemies, a young guy named Trevor Bentley to marry her for a year. That way she can keep her job and get Pop off her back.

Pluses: Trevor is a nice guy. Melissa is a nice person. They just want to do their jobs and be successful and be with their families.

Wishes: I thought the pacing was very strange. Fake Marriage plots always demand a suspension of disbelief, but this was A LOT.

I had a hard time believing Pop was a successful businessman if he'd treat his granddaughter with a Harvard MBA like a brood mare. I wanted her to stand up to him!

But then as soon as she and Trevor get fake married, there's basically zero conflict. It's just like months of things going fine and them having great sex except that they don't talk to each other about their feelings.

Then, there's a big dramatic blow up b/t Pop and Trevor (but we don't really know why). Then Trevor & Melissa spend the last 10% telling each other everything. I think maybe the feeling that it was boring was bc Melissa is the only narrator and she is pretty locked down?

Verdict: The super big splashy set-up of the conflict doesn't get the pay off it deserves, so it feels like the plot started at the top of a cliff and fell rather than building up to something. A low-conflict romance about nice people afraid to be too nice to each other.

RITA project status: 11 books left, but I don't have 4 of them, so 7 more to go and then I'm done.

Good morning. I read OUT OF BODY by Suzanne Brockmann. This is a finalist is the paranormal romance category.

amzn.to/2WnZOvR

In this friends-to-lovers story, Henry has been pining for Malcolm for 12 years, ever since he was a freshman in college and Mal was his RA. It's Halloween, Henry's favorite, and he's determined to finally tell Mal how he really feels.

But a demon possesses Mal's body, leaving him a ghost. Eventually Henry becomes aware of Mal and they work together to try and release Mal from his ghostly form. This story was originally a romantic comedy screenplay (film still forthcoming?) and was adapted into a romance novel.

Pluses: I don't know how else to say it: This is a cute story. Even though it's about demon possession and this fear that Mal is dead, there is a lot of charming banter and the tone is very light. There's a lot of *physical comedy* which I think will be very funny on film.

Wishes: The fact that this comes from screenplay makes the pacing & plotting feel different in a straight up romance novel.

An example: Mal thinks his purpose is to help Henry find happiness, so he convinces Henry that he should seduce his neighbor.

I could see why this would work in a movie (the comedy!) but it felt out of place here. Especially bc they have just learned someone is using Mal's phone. This subplot didn't really work for me at all, especially bc Mal gives Henry the following advice.

This was a moment of real cognitive dissonance for me as a reader. I came to a full stop. I was disappointed to see this dialogue in a romance novel published in 2018.

Verdict: A very cute story that will likely make a very charming film. It reads like the novelization of a romantic comedy script, and I enjoyed it for what it was. But as a novel, characterization and plotting at times felt underdeveloped.

Good morning, I DNF'd TO CATCH A ROGUE by Bec McMaster. This is a finalist in the paranormal romance category. It's not that there's anything offensive or wrong, I was just missing too much backstory.

amzn.to/2KMmVOk

This is the 4th book in the series called "London Steampunk: The Blue Blood Conspiracy." Blue bloods are kinda like vampires. The series is about a group of blue bloods who also fight crimes, or maybe commit them?

The book opens with a guy named Malloryn being kidnapped and tortured by some other bad guy. The Company of Rogues is determined to save him, that includes our hero Charlie. He recruits childhood friend Lark to the cause.

Pluses: It's competently written but there is a whole lot going on in this book, entirely consisting of storylines started earlier in the series: relationships in/among the company of rogues, the bad guys, the blue bloods, action sequences as they try to save Malloryn, etc.

Wishes: All of that means that Charlie and Lark's romance feels like a minor subplot. Very minor. Previous characters are POV characters.

I quit at 60%. Charlie and Lark have made out a few times, she's just shared her secret identity with him...

But I've had to force myself to try and read this. It's been on and off for a solid week and it's like swimming through jello. It's dense with characters and plot I'm unfamiliar with and honestly, coming at it from book 4, it just seems manufactured.

All of the scenes where they attempt to save Malloryn are failures. They fall into traps and are not making any progress. This sucker is 400 pages and I've been forcing myself to read it and I just need to stop doing this to myself.

Verdict: DNF bc it wasn't a stand-alone & is romance-lite. However, there are definitely readers who would like this series. Each book is long and jammed with plot and interesting continuing characters. Just do yourself a favor and start with book 1. amzn.to/31ujuli

Hi everyone, just a reminder that due to content warnings, I'm not able to read Long Shot by Kennedy Ryan, but the great folks at @sparkjoyromance are starting their discussion of it today!

https://twitter.com/sparkjoyromance/status/1139895337798262791

I'm 60% of the way through WRETCHED by Cara Crescent. This is finalist in the paranormal romance. I don't know if I'll finish, and I'm here to tell you why.

amzn.to/2Rn8Xnl

The year is 2262. Chief Donovan Reese and his first mate are captured by an evil queen from the planet Troon, and in order to leave, Donovan is forced to marry the queen's daughter, Celeka.

Pluses: I like sci-fi and all that space business. Donovan is a good guy, his first mate is a good guy. there's an interesting story for what happened on Earth and how evil corporations took over after the UN tried to erase countries. Fine and interesting enough.

Wishes: There's this whole conflict with Celeka that is...not good. Her mother the queen hates her because Celeka is some sort of bi-racial alien. In fact, she's so reviled for being so ugly that she spends the first half of the book veiled from everyone, even her new husband.

Me: What do you want to bet that her ugliness somehow perfectly matches our current earth standards of beauty?

I read far enough for her to be unveiled by Donovan. She has long white blonde hair, "dainty feet", "slim ankles", "muscular but slim legs", "flat belly", "gentle curves of her waist", "perfect bow shaped lips", and "beautiful, full tear drop breasts."

Yes, her skin is pale blue (PALE! almost translucent! SHE IS VERY PALE.) and her eyes are rainbow colored or something. But come on. COME ON. Your sci-fi ugly lady is really a supermodel with blue skin who thinks she's ugly?

As an aside, Donovon thinks of the women on her home planet as "butch" which made me feel yucky.

I honestly don't know what to say. I want someone to come say it better than me.

Verdict: DNF.

I've now read all the books in the paranormal category. I think THE LAST WOLF should win, but I'd be okay if OUT OF BODY won. If the Bec McMaster catches a few judges who are familiar with the series, it has a good shot.

Good evening. I have finished HELL'S BELLE by Annabelle Anders. This is a finalist is the historical short category.

amzn.to/2J0vHpk

Emily Goodnight is a wallflower who is secretly in love with Marcus, the Earl of Blakely. He's friendly and nice to her. She's nosy and comes up with a plan to help him gain revenge on his father, the Duke. But nothing goes to plan.

Pluses: This has a pleasant pace & some nice banter. Emily may be a wallflower, but she's an interesting heroine. I liked her and I liked Marcus.

I SHIT YOU NOT, this has the most astounding scene I have ever read in a historical romance of this nature (straightforward regency)

At the beginning, Emily is hiding in the library (as wallflowers often do) and Marcus comes in with a paramour. He fucks this other woman RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE FUTURE HEROINE, which she secretly watches bc she's absolutely curious and she'll never have this chance again! Lol.

I liked it, but I am sure some people will not. I say learn where you can, Emily.

WISHES: This book is a series of plot machinations and obstacles on the way to the HEA. Lots of things HAPPEN, but it felt strangely devoid of heart. I don't know how else to describe it.

One very interesting thing in this book, and I think it's part of why it didn't quite work for me, Emily is determined to find a husband at this country house party, and she basically engineers a situation where she can trap this one dude.

Now, she is very matter-of-fact about this. She has no choice, men have choices, and if she wants a family and a future, this is just what has to be done. When she describes her reasoning to Marcus, it's full of feminist fury.

But, when there is a big reveal about a bad woman from Marcus' past that basically tries to do the same thing, she's vilified. Because that woman did it for MONEY (which is crass to all these aristocrats), where Emily doing it for FREEDOM is justified.

I don't think that our author meant to set up this dichotomy; It's an example of how romance fails to show class differences with any kind of nuance.

Verdict: A whole lot of plot to chew on if that's your thing, but I didn't emotionally connect with it. Forgettable.

I would like to revise my previous statement. Demonizing poor characters is more than a romance problem. It's definitely an capitalism problem that is bigger than romance. But I noticed it here and wish we were better.

Good evening. I bet you thought I'd forgotten all of you. Tonight, I DNFd DEVIL TO PAY by KC Bateman at about the 25% mark. This is a finalist is the historical short category.

amzn.to/2Jmt0jj

I was excited for this one because it's not England Times! The heroine, Cara di Montessori flees an assassin and goes to Alessandro del Sarto, also known as Il Diavolo for help. No one loves a devil like romancelandia.

Pluses: The setting is 1492 Italy, and I was excited to have what I hoped would be a cool, different historical reading experience.

Wishes: I need you all to understand that I am one of those people who BARELY gives a fuck about historical accuracy. And yet...

This book is filled with words & ideas that are WILDLY ahistorical---but both ways. At one point, the hero says, "Eleanor of Aquitaine had to pay 150 thousand marks to ransom her son Richard a few years ago."

Eleanor of Aquitaine lived from 1122 – 1204. So, a THREE HUNDRED YEARS before? When's the last time anyone here referred to events 3 centuries ago and in another country as a few years ago?

Later on, the hero tells the heroine, "What's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander." A phrase that according to the OED doesn't appear for another 300 years...in English. Maybe it's Italian? But I doubt it.

I know I sound like a real jerk here, but I know how infuriating it is when historical authors are accused of being ahistorical, and I wanted to show my work.

Let me tell you about one more, which was the stopping point.

The hero thinks about himself and the heroine as being "like two magnets held the wrong way round." And I actually fucking looked up when magnets came into use. It seemed that they were in use in China and some places naturally, but not widely as this metaphor would suggest.

So here's what I did: I figured if Shakespeare used the word magnet (remember he was writing a century later than the setting of this book!), then I figured maybe I could give it a pass. Alas, no.

Would I have kept reading if it wasn't a RITA finalist? I doubt it. Nothing that compelling and it was pretty slow moving. There was some very awkward prose.

Verdict: DNF. How can RWA award a RITA to a book that plays this loose with history?

I only have two more books to read before I'm finished with this project.

Good evening, friends. I finished ADVANCED PHYSICAL CHEMISTRY by Susannah Nix. This is a finalist in the contemporary mid-length category.

amzn.to/2LJSOHW

The heroine is Penny Popplestone. She works from home but has a favorite local coffee shop. One night she's there with her knitting group when she spies her boyfriend with another woman. She flees to the bathroom where she's comforted by the hottie barista, Caleb.

Caleb is shy, quiet and she's always thought he was cute. She realizes he's been noticing her, too.

Pluses: The writing is **very sharp**. Several times I stopped to admire a particularly pithy turn of the phrase. Penny and Caleb are both likable nice people.

Wishes: This book felt like 2 different things. The first half is Penny dealing with the break-up and crushing on Caleb. It was S L O W.

The second half is their affair in the month before he moves away for medical school. The pacing was do different, it felt like whip-lash.

There is nothing wrong with this book, but your enjoyment will depend entirely on how much you like to be in a character's head. This is very close third person POV on Penny.

That first half was too much hand-wringing for my taste, and it felt a lot like women's fiction.

The only conflict in part 2 was external...Will Caleb leave for med school? These are nice people with good chemistry and no reason not to be together. The low moment is that he goes away for a weekend and doesn't text much. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Verdict: This felt like the way people ACTUALLY fall in love, not romance-novel fall in love. I don't know how else to describe it.

You may love that! You may hate it! I have no idea! The writing was good enough to make me stick around.

(I just broke the Clayborn exclamation point rule in one tweet.)

Good morning. I finished LUCK OF THE DRAW by Kate Clayborn. This is a finalist in the Contemporary romance long category. I saved it for last because I wanted to end with a good book.

But I was wrong. It's a SUPERB book.

amzn.to/2xI1Rkl

After winning the lottery, Zoe quit her job as a soulless corporate lawyer and has been rattling around for months, living off the winnings but not doing what she planned. She's mired in guilt over things she's done and decides to apologize to people she's wronged.

Zoe goes to apologize to a couple who she mistreated as a lawyer, but instead meets their son. He reams her out and then says, "If you really want to help me, fake being my fiancee and help me win this campsite I want to turn into a rehab facility."

May I digress to tell you that all these different people vying to own and run a summer camp? Of all the things I read in the RITAs this year, that was one of the hardest things for me to actually believe! Do people like camping that much? #CityGirl

Pluses: This is the BEST of what romance does: a deep dive into feelings and how we change and grow when we fall in love. I think Zoe in particular, the way she struggles with guilt and regret? That felt very real to me, and so beautifully portrayed.

Any romance reader could predict the low moment in a fake engagement: they will be found out. But it's a tribute to Kate's skill as an author that I was GENUINELY SHOCKED when it happened. Zoe and Aiden were so real with each other; I forget it was fake to everyone else.

Wishes: That I had read it earlier?

Verdict: Don't make my mistake. Read this immediately.

It's done.

Lol. JK. I have some things to wrap up: Here's my updated spreadsheet: docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d…

As you may remember, I didn't read 2 categories: Romance with Religious or Spiritual Elements & Mainstream Fiction with a Central Romance.

But there are also 5 books I just didn't get to: Long Shot by Kennedy Ryan, which I could not read for personal reasons. And then 4 books I don't own/couldn't get from the library: 3 Contemporary shorts and a novella.

And although a few people have offered to get them for me, I'm going to be very honest and tell you that...I just don't want to do this anymore.

I do want to say thank you to the MANY MANY readers, publicists, and authors who supported this project by providing books. I could not have done it without you.

At some point, I'll do a per-category wrap. But not today. I'm just going to enjoy the way this looks on my Kindle.