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Okay, so this chapter isn't actually about her wedding. It's about same-sex marriage, truancy, and why she said no to Holder when he asked whether she wanted to be Attorney-General.
Doug--her husband--enters onstage as a minor character, later in the chapter,
Doug--her husband--enters onstage as a minor character, later in the chapter,
then exits abruptly when Holder calls.
(A friend set them up. A phone call, a date, no games, good enough: marriage--Doug, that is. She really agonized over that phone call from Holder, though.)
This woman is a complete cipher.
(A friend set them up. A phone call, a date, no games, good enough: marriage--Doug, that is. She really agonized over that phone call from Holder, though.)
This woman is a complete cipher.
I feel badly for her. I can't imagine she wrote any of this. it's so absurdly bad that I suspect it may have been composed by an algorithm. But I assume she oversaw the production of the book and signed off on everything.
I assume she felt compelled to do this. I don't know why. What's overwhelmingly clear is that she does *not* want to talk about her personal life. She resents every second of being asked to sound "relatable."
As she should. She's not relatable.
She's a barracuda.
Her sole raison d'être is power.
She's a barracuda.
Her sole raison d'être is power.
This is fine with me. I expect it's fine with any thinking person. That's the *only* kind of person who becomes president.
You don't become president by cooking "a rich pork stew, or an Indian biryani or chicken with feta cheese, lemon rind, and fresh oregano from the garden."
You don't become president by cooking "a rich pork stew, or an Indian biryani or chicken with feta cheese, lemon rind, and fresh oregano from the garden."
This preposterous effort to humanize her compromises her dignity.
Just be the shark you are, Kamala.
You might be a shark, but you're OUR shark. It's 2019. You don't have to pretend you're all about the cooking.
Just be the shark you are, Kamala.
You might be a shark, but you're OUR shark. It's 2019. You don't have to pretend you're all about the cooking.
Oh, and I get it: You are a strong, proud black woman and you're all about strong, proud black women and you're in the strong, proud black woman lane and you're going to *crush* that strong, proud, black lane.
But you only needed to name check, say, 20 or 30 other prominent strong, proud, black women to establish your bona fides.
By the time you're telling us that your husband named his daughter after Ella Fitzgerald, you're turning your book into a drinking game.
By the time you're telling us that your husband named his daughter after Ella Fitzgerald, you're turning your book into a drinking game.
Frankly, I'd rather you made the argument directly: The US should be run on a Lebanese-style confessional system and the presidency should be reserved for a strong, proud black woman. The vice-presidency should go to a wise Latina;
and SecState must henceforth be reserved for the genderqueer. Just spell it all out, stop hinting--it only makes you seem coy.
You're not coy.
You'll get a lot more sympathy if you just say, "Look, This is the way it's going to be.
You're not coy.
You'll get a lot more sympathy if you just say, "Look, This is the way it's going to be.
"It works for Lebanon, it will work for America.
"My turn."
"My turn."
"Got any problems with it? No? Good."
"I am a shark. I am a cold, collected killing machine, a one-woman wheeling-dealing ultra-litigating Panzerdivision.
And I've got a superpower to run and enemies to disembowel, so MAKE WAY, swine."
"I am a shark. I am a cold, collected killing machine, a one-woman wheeling-dealing ultra-litigating Panzerdivision.
And I've got a superpower to run and enemies to disembowel, so MAKE WAY, swine."
"And that means YOU, Chasten. Doug's reupholstering the Bellange chairs in the Blue Room, so don't you even dream of it."
Use this as your theme song, proudly.
Use this as your theme song, proudly.
Be the barracuda we love.
