Thread by @frodofied

Yesterday marked the third anniversary of my mother's death and it was tougher than I had expected.

A lot can happen in three years. And as I am forced, of late, to contemplate my own mortality, I wonder if my mom would be proud of the post-her me.

It's a scary question.

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My mother's pride often seemed unshakeable, but she had a quiet way of expressing her disappointment when her children failed themselves or, more rarely, her.

Her disappointment was a painful thing to endure for me, even if I did so only rarely.

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It is no secret to anyone here that the rug was pulled from under me in 2016.

My mom broke her hip.
Donald Trump
BERNARD Sanders.
Russia.
Fake news
Susan Sarandon
Wikileak
My mom died
Black Tuesday (8 November)

All of it.

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The day my mom died was a nightmare on so many levels. In the three previous years after going back to Michigan to care for my mom after my stepdad died, our lives began to shrink. The economic stress of treating her increasing number of maladies reached untenable levels.

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At the end my savings were gone. We were surviving on $846 cash she recieved from social security, plus $236 in additional snap benefits between us. And, in the final months a small stipend from the state which went to me for providing the 24/7 she required.

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Several hours after her death I sat alone, numb, in a small stale room the hospital had provided me to mourn privately, and I was terrified. I realized I had $8 in our checking account- not even enough for taxi fare I needed to get home.

I was truly hopeless.

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I now refer to this as my "It's a Wonderful Life" moment, and it would not be the last such day I would have in the hours and days and weeks that followed.

The story of how @PCalith stepped in and heroically saved the day is now well known and is well told often, still.

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I stepped away from this thread in tears. It has been hard to revisit, but finish it I must.

When I think about those days, so laden with anxiety and fear, it can become overwhelming. Especially when I consider the boundless generosity, and support I recieved from Twitter.

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Many of you have been even more so since that time. When I tell that @slb42jcb, @Solutioneer72, @Only4Rm, @nullcookies, and, my gods, especially @dcasapwarren deserve full credit for the saving of a life (my own) I pray you understand I do not jest.

Not even a little.

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When I was overcome with those emotions the other day a part of me also filled with worry that those who have been so generous might now wish they hadn't been.

What a horrible wall to walk into that was. And I've found myself walking into it continually every day since.

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Because while my life has improved immensely from that moment back in 2016 in the hospital, alone, and broke, I am by no means comfortable, or, on some days, even fully safe.

Some days my head barely reaches above the water line, still.

Still.

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Turns out that the reason we are so enamored with Tales of phoenixes that Rise From the Ashes or with stories of people who pull themselves up, nearly single-handedly from the bowels of poverty, is that they are truly remarkable exceptions to the cruel rules of life.

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Rebuilding a life that has been nuked by the circumstances of life is a far more complicated and difficult affair today than it has ever been in this nation.

The mountains one must climb are numerous and steep.

And few find themselves up to the task.

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Mostly, I think it is fair to argue, the fault lies with the Republican Party and the corporate self deification that has occurred in this country since Reagan and even before.

Bankruptcy laws.
Worker's rights.
Employment security.
Worker safety.

(List continues...)

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Environmental policy.
Access to affordable health care.
Access to an affordable, quality education.

Basically any aspect of life that the poor require access to in order to improve their lives has been pulled further from their reach.

It is getting worse everyday.

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And, without exception, Republicans w/ conservative ideology forming the basis of their unprecedented assault, have spent the last 40 years systematically turning favor from individual Americans to their corporate overlords in every facet of American economic/social life.

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So why am I writing about all of this in a thread that began with me writing about the third year anniversary of my mother's death?

Good question.

My mom didn't follow politics, nor did she seek to find her own political voice till the end of her life.

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She regretted that. She had spent her entire life believing that politics was the arena of fools. She had not understood the fundamental ways policy effects all of ours at both the macro and micro levels.

She saw it too late: politics is personal.

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I've spent the last three years trying to dig out of a hole that should not have existed in the first place. Trying to reestablish good credit, reenter the work force, and save some capital are incredibly difficult tasks, it turns out, while also trying to actually survive.

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We lost everything because our economy is tilted against people like my mother. Our nation has decided to prioritize the needs of healthcare CEOs over those of the sick and dying. It is tilted against those who wish to care for sick children, parents, and partners.

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Few understand the connections between so many of these complicated strands better than @HillaryClinton does,and that's just a fact. It why I supported her so strongly. To fix a problem you goddamn better well understand that problem.

Hillary. Understands. All. Of. It.

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