, 12 tweets, 3 min read Read on Twitter
The past two days I have read anecdote after anecdote from parents who have children like Isla, have children who are #LGBTQ LGBT (not sure if that acronym is accurate), have children with #diabetes, even parents whose children just have eczema.
They've messaged me, replied to things I've said, and there is this trend among them-they blame #vaccines. I am not complaining. I knew my Twitter activity would result in these things. It is part of a conversation.
The commonality they don't realize exists is this-they are all ashamed. There is even a mother who believes her 29 year old son's latching issues as a newborn are due to her decision to #immunize. Her son is 29 years old and she is still writing about that online. That is sad.
It is dysfunctional. What is worse, they don't realize that sometimes people with even a teensy bit of power will play on these things and feed our insecurities to mobilize us. But let's set the vaccine issue aside. Because that debate is just a symptom of this bigger problem.
Why is this so hard for parents STILL? Accepting your children when they don't fit into your preconceived idea of who they are isn't new. Parents have been having this conversation a long time.
Yet this notion that children are born morally, genetically, emotionally, socially blank little lumps of clay that we have to mold exactly correct is persisting and it is wrong. Stop. We have to accept that things REALLY do happen for no reason.
Sometimes they are terrible, sometimes they are manageable, and sometimes they are great. There isn't always an explanation or reason for everything. Accept that your life designs itself and you keep editing to make it work. If it looks terrible to you, change your perspective.
My view is that children are born tiny little works of art-they have their own color and texture. We don't paint the picture that is their life. We help them choose the colors that shine the best. Their little lives design themselves too and we want to be in that picture.
These are just thoughts that I think maybe might help some mom or dad somewhere wondering "Why?" Stop worrying about why and start thinking "How?" I'm going to end with a lesson from the #GoldenGirls. That is right. This episode aired in 1991, I think. That was 28 years ago.
It is time we took their advice and hopped on the train that leaves this kind of guilt/shame behind-it is useless and wasteful. Happy Friday.
If this is you, let go of your shame. So what if our children are different? It is okay that we love them.
And I really hope people ARE watching the clip.....Sophia's coping and reaction to her son wearing women's clothing is SO similar to what many parents today seem to feel about several things.
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