Thread by @TheViewFromLL2

Let's see what Fox thinks is important tonight! I turned it on in the middle of a story on AOC (she wants to bring back Jim Crow apparently), and they moved immediately from that to a Rashida Tlaib story.

Now we've got a long sit-down interview with a guy who has picked up trash in Maryland and California, to tell us about how much trash he picked up, and how cleaning up trash doesn't need big government since he was able to do it without big government.

Next up: a game show between two random Fox News hosts, I think from the morning shows?, who are competing to win a t-shirt or something.

"We promised you we would cover a story on Elizabeth Warren at the end of the hour, but we changed our minds because something just happened to AOC we want to show instead!" *plays clip of AOC town hall where a random woman advocates eating babies* "Was that real? We don't know!"

Hannity is on, and I am strangely relieved, because at least there won't be quiz shows about what name is now very unpopular in the UK (it's Nigel, btw)

No news yet, despite my hopes. A long rant about how Hollywood and DC are disdainful of real Americans like his hard-working mother, and "People who shop at Costco and Target are the people who make America great again."

Hannity is now playing a game show with himself, fml.

Hillary's emails, drink.

Lewinsky, drink.

BREAKING NEWS alert. Turns out there was some important breaking news today! It's... a tweet from @jaketapper about how the whistleblower is a Democrat.

Hannity: "I heard that former Ambassador Volker devastated and destroyed the entire impeachment proceeding in his testimony today. Congratulations, Mr. Volker."

Now it's time for a timeline of "sleepy creepy uncle Joe's" corruption.

Most of it is the same script we've heard a hundred times, but Hannity has an entry on his timeline that's new to me: it turns out Hillary Clinton was involved in the Burisma scandal too!

"Tonight the Democrats' twisted scheming is about to blow up in their face! Our next guest is Jim Jordan. I hear on a scale of 1 to 10, today was a 12 for blowing up in their face."

The transcript of Volker's deposition apparently proves how corrupt Pelosi's impeachment inquiry is, but gosh darn, Jim Jordan can't tell us anything about it, because Shifty Schiff won't let him.

Hannity promises he has some really damning news about Mueller he can't share just yet. But it's going to be really big.

"Democrats and their media mob are in a panic tonight. It's why they're pushing their lies – note the acceleration in their lies, as Barr gets closer to the truth."

Aw shit, I missed whatever big breaking scandalous email Hannity is talking about.

Ohhh, wait. I didn't miss it, I just didn't realize it was supposed to be scandalous. It turns out the scandalous email was an email from Rosenstein about how he was not telling Sessions about his work on the Mueller probe. Which was appropriate, since Sessions was recused.

Geraldo, and I assure you this is without any self-awareness: "There are two truths here. There's what we're talking about on your show, and what they're talking about everywhere else."

The whistleblower is a "rogue Democrat CIA agent."

Mark Levin just monologued for like ten minutes, and not gonna lie I didn't process a word of it.

"Hillary Clinton, she's baaaaack."

There have been infinity more video clips on Fox tonight of Clinton, Beto, AOC, Tlaib, and Warren than there have been of Trump.

Our next guests are Sean Spicer and Mike Huckabee and I am going to get a drink.

I lied, I watched it, and I am so glad I did. Hannity's contempt and condescension for Spicer was amazing. I think Spicer got maybe 30 words in in total before Hannity ended the interview to talk more shit about Spicer humiliating himself with his dancing.

Spicer: "but I raised money for troops!!!"
Hannity: *stares intensely, stuck somewhere between his need to make fun of Spicer some more, and his powerlessness before Spicer's deployment of the troops defense*

That's a big enough sample size for the night. Conclusion: if your news exposure was watching Fox for a couple hours tonight, you'd have no idea whatsoever that Trump had requested on live TV for foreign states to investigate his political opponents.

Fox is warning its listeners that the Ukraine scandal is all an elaborate plot to create President Pelosi, good night everyone!