Thread by @QuinnyPig

And now @timallenwagner takes the #serverlessconf stage by storm. Hearty applause.

"Who the f*ck is @timallenwagner to tell us what the future of Serverless is?" He ran the Lambda team at AWS for starters. THIS IS ALL HIS FAULT #Serverlessconf

The audience leans in with anticipation. #serverlessconf

Getting on stage when I'm in the audience is painting a bullseye, but @timallenwagner took that literally it seems. #serverlessconf

Here are the growth areas for Serverless. #serverlessconf

And the things it sucks at. "Kubernetes" missing from the list. #Serverlessconf

Tim's answer was presumably "Quicksight, because that thing is garbage." The slide tells the story of how that ended. #serverlessconf

In light of the video transcoding demo from yesterday (@kneekey23 and @sbarski) this statement didn't age well.

Meanwhile @timallenwagner is aging beautifully. He looks younger every year!

#serverlessconf

Easy. You should build a better @awscloud billing system. #Serverlessconf

This slide looks a lot like my slides before my designer gets to them. #Serverlessconf

Now talking about serverless supercomputers. "We're still missing a few parts, but here's what that stack might look like."

#serverlessconf

Throwing shade at ElastiCache. "It requires servers." The audience laughs mockingly. #serverlessconf

The Serverless Supercomputer Stack, by @timallenwagner #serverlessconf

This zone is stateful and serverless. State in serverless is hard. #Serverlessconf

I really hadn't considered it this way, but it makes perfect sense and is obvious in hindsight. That's the hallmark of a great idea. #serverlessconf

And now the Shaming of the Lambda. #serverlessconf

And @timallenwagner announces that today he's launching a serverless networking framework in beta. #serverlessconf

And @timallenwagner clears the hurdle that so many companies fail to: "WTF would I use this for?" #serverlessconf

Lambda: "Get a file"
S3: "Here it is."

There's a NAT in there.

(If it's the Managed NAT gateway you pay a 4.5¢ processing fee / @awscloud tax on going about your business.) #serverlessconf

And this is what @timallenwagner is envisioning solving for. Three images! #serverlessconf

AND STOP CHARGING THROUGH THE GODDAMNED NOSE FOR DATA TRANSFER while you're #awswishlist counting. #serverlessconf

Peer-to-peer networking for Lambda is fascinating. I'm already picturing a few use cases. #serverlessconf

And he somehow got an axe on an airplane. #serverlessconf

"But... that was our transactions database." #serverlessconf