My first rude introduction to the concept that dads (& husbands) are worthy of respect, only if they've earned or deserve it, happened when I was barely 18.
My friends and i had gone to visit a mutual friend in Lagos.
We were a bit noisy in the usual boisterous nature of youth
My friends and i had gone to visit a mutual friend in Lagos.
We were a bit noisy in the usual boisterous nature of youth
It wasn't until one of us asked after our friend's dad that we realised he was actually at home.
It wasn't normal to me to for us to be making so much noise in a 3 bedroom apartment if the dad was home.
My shock was to come later when his mum got back from work.
After making
It wasn't normal to me to for us to be making so much noise in a 3 bedroom apartment if the dad was home.
My shock was to come later when his mum got back from work.
After making
lunch, she asked my friend to call his dad to come for lunch.
The words used to describe the man were far from complimentary.
The man meekly came out to eat his food much to the disapproving glare of his wife.
All this happened in our presence (it was a small flat).
The words used to describe the man were far from complimentary.
The man meekly came out to eat his food much to the disapproving glare of his wife.
All this happened in our presence (it was a small flat).
Several years later, I mentioned the episode to a friend of close friend because it obviously had a profound effect on me till then.
My friend tried to explain the incident by assuming the man must have deserved the treatment meted to him by his family.
My friend tried to explain the incident by assuming the man must have deserved the treatment meted to him by his family.
With even several more years under my belt, I know better.
You see, today's newfangled wisdom tries to belittle the value of men in relationships by rationalizing their efforts and achievements as normal, whereas our failings and shortcomings are own up as abnormal.
This leaves
You see, today's newfangled wisdom tries to belittle the value of men in relationships by rationalizing their efforts and achievements as normal, whereas our failings and shortcomings are own up as abnormal.
This leaves
zero room for mistakes and misjudgements.
Men are made to feel bad for not being rich or attractive, while demonized for being broke.
On the other hand, women want to be appreciated for every little effort and victory.
Women instinctively feel the relationship is a battlefield
Men are made to feel bad for not being rich or attractive, while demonized for being broke.
On the other hand, women want to be appreciated for every little effort and victory.
Women instinctively feel the relationship is a battlefield
And the man, an adversary to be conquered.
I generalize (perhaps unfairly) I agree.
But I speak from the pain of my wounds.
There should never be a reason to justify respect for a dad or husband (or his wife & kids' mother)
Respect should be natural. Just like love.
I generalize (perhaps unfairly) I agree.
But I speak from the pain of my wounds.
There should never be a reason to justify respect for a dad or husband (or his wife & kids' mother)
Respect should be natural. Just like love.
When respect exits a relationship, it's over.
Nothing can be done to revive it.
Its like soiled tissue paper.
Nothing can be done to revive it.
Its like soiled tissue paper.
