Q. I have a good relationship with my boss “Jane.” She considers me a personal friend (I don’t consider her one, but we get along great). She tells me a lot of stuff she really shouldn’t tell me, but I understand she needs an outlet.
I’ve been jobhunting since October. I was thinking about either telling her I needed to make a change or giving her a hint I am looking, because she is clueless even though I dress up on interview days and wear jeans on other days.
But I ran out of time, because I accepted an offer on Thursday. I’m really excited about it, but now I have to give notice. What if Jane goes into a whole guilt trip like “Why didn’t you tell me you were looking? You should have known you could tell me.”
A. Stress over giving notice is a big deal that actually keeps people from jobhunting. Work is a social
place, as much as we pretend it is strictly business. A boss who feels rejected by your resignation may give you a hard time about leaving.
place, as much as we pretend it is strictly business. A boss who feels rejected by your resignation may give you a hard time about leaving.
Practice your notice-giving speech in advance. Role-play with a friend who will play the part of Jane and give you a hard time about your decision to keep quiet. That practice will help you when you deliver the news.
Here’s a sample speech:
YOU: Jane, do you have a second?
JANE: Sure, what’s up?
YOU: I wanted to let you know that I accepted a position in another company. My last day will be Friday, January tenth. That’s three weeks, because of the holidays. If that works for you.
YOU: Jane, do you have a second?
JANE: Sure, what’s up?
YOU: I wanted to let you know that I accepted a position in another company. My last day will be Friday, January tenth. That’s three weeks, because of the holidays. If that works for you.
JANE: Hang on - what? You’re leaving? Right now? You wouldn’t.
YOU (serenely): I’ve got a plan for how I intend to spend these three weeks. We could go over it this afternoon, or whenever it’s convenient for you. Jane, I want to thank you for everything. You’re a terrific boss.
YOU (serenely): I’ve got a plan for how I intend to spend these three weeks. We could go over it this afternoon, or whenever it’s convenient for you. Jane, I want to thank you for everything. You’re a terrific boss.
JANE: I actually can’t take this in. I’m in shock. You job hunted without telling me? I thought you knew you could trust me. Wow. Wow.
YOU: Thanks Jane, I do trust you. This was an opportunity I couldn’t pass up. Do you want to meet after lunch to talk about my priorities between now and the 10th?
JANE: Dang. You’re really leaving me high and dry. My whole 2020 plan is based on you being here. I’m so upset right now. I guess I thought we were more in sync.
YOU: Let me finish up this plan and give you time, also. We’ll talk this afternoon.
YOU: Let me finish up this plan and give you time, also. We’ll talk this afternoon.
Jane may be thrilled for you & give you a hug. She may be angry or sad.
Do not get into a debate or argument with her. There is nothing to argue about. You’re leaving, and that’s that.
Do not get into a debate or argument with her. There is nothing to argue about. You’re leaving, and that’s that.
If Jane sinks into fear after you give notice (e.g. gets mad at you, or is sulky) don’t panic. She may settle down over the three-week notice period. Either way, you will sail out the door with a smile on your face. It is onward and upward from here!
P.S. Just in case, remove any personal belongings from your work area before you give notice. Get contact information from coworkers you want to keep in touch with. Jane doesn’t sound like someone who would walk you out the door for the crime of giving notice but you never know
