1. Initiate contact. "If there’s a man you want, step up and make it happen. Say something; we don’t read minds—we read DMs.” --Jason, 34, maintenance.
2. Stop being so loyal. “There are a lot of no-good men out here who have QUEENS at home. She knows he’s cheating, but she stays, ‘for the family,’ for the title, whatever. Stop that shit. If he’s not being loyal to you, stop being so loyal to him. Live your life.” --Aaron, 31
3. You don’t have to be the boss at work and at home. “For one, many women don’t know how to let a man lead, that goes a long way.” --Orlando, 45, government employee
4. Pull your weight in the relationship; be willing to compromise. “It takes two to build a relationship. Not one chasing another.” --Nyatu, media personality 
5. Ask for what you want. “If you have demands, say it. Don’t just take what he gives you, if it don’t make you happy. Don’t apologize for asking for something more from him in the first place.” --Christopher 28, videographer
6. Don’t judge a book by its cover. “You see a brother in a suit and you say he’s a good man, but you ignore the brother in the Timbs. A suit don’t make you a good guy, narcissists love suits. Psychos love suits. Don’t overlook the thug.” --Big Red, medical marijuana sales
7. Listen to me. “If you ask why my last relationship ended, LISTEN to what happened; listen to what I did. If I ghosted her, know that ghosting is something I do, and if we don’t connect, I’ll do that to you, too.” --Don’t Put My Name On It, 22, fast food worker
8. You can't change me. “If it's something about me that you can't handle, just move on, real talk. I'm not rearranging my core to appease you. Change is something I'll do when I want." Kenny, bus driver
9. Let’s keep the peace. “As Black men, we value peace above everything else in our relationships. We love y’all, but a lot of y’all don’t love peace, and that’s where y’all lose us.” --L. Williams, 40s, comedian/writer/director
10. I’m in love with you when: “I sacrifice or inconvenience myself for you. If I’m down to my last $50 and you need groceries, that money is yours. If I planned to go out but you needed me to be with you, I’ll be there. Love is sacrifice; no cap.” Michael, 44, attorney.
YOUR turn. What do you wish others knew about love? #SBCCHAT
