This is a really important thread on the cognitive dissonance that exists around bullies & smear campaigns in the #domesticabuse sector. It’s an open secret that few are able to address openly because they fear being ostracised and even shut down by the inevitable smear campaign.
It’s something that I know many people in the sector have experienced and I also have personal experience. It is a conversation that others and I have had numerous times, over many years and it is an important issue. Why?
Because, how can you expect others to recognise abuse when you play a part in overlooking it?
This is the question that has been running through my mind and should really be running through the mind of EVERYONE who is involved in raising awareness and educating on #domesticabuse
This is the question that has been running through my mind and should really be running through the mind of EVERYONE who is involved in raising awareness and educating on #domesticabuse
If we don’t understand OUR part in overlooking abusive behaviour, if we don’t understand our own bystander apathy when we see it but choose to ignore it, we are complicit in allowing abuse to propagate.
It is an uncomfortable truth but one that needs addressing.
It is an uncomfortable truth but one that needs addressing.
It’s not enough to fight to uphold a cause but to ignore the people who are harmed along the way.
It’s not enough to ignore, overlook or minimise abuse from someone because they are *doing good*.
If we are serious about campaigning for a better societal awareness of abuse, bullying, intimidation, shaming and all the tactics we KNOW abusers use, we need to look at WHOEVER is using those tactics and raise it as a concern.
Otherwise we are simply not walking our talk.
Otherwise we are simply not walking our talk.
And this leads me on to a situation that I have been involved in for over 2 years.
On Wednesday, following a small claims money hearing, I posted a thread ( link below). I did not name the company concerned ( although a few know who they are)
On Wednesday, following a small claims money hearing, I posted a thread ( link below). I did not name the company concerned ( although a few know who they are)
This company has waged a significant smear campaign against me, since the summer of 2018. They have engaged and passed on my personal details with others ( including abusive sock accounts) and this has caused SIGNIFICANT fear and distress.
On Wednesday, I found out definitively, for the first time, that the director who claimed she had no knowledge of what her co-director had said, had been aware the whole time.
She had previously claimed she didn’t know and that there was nothing she could do about his actions.
She had previously claimed she didn’t know and that there was nothing she could do about his actions.
This plausible deniability is what she has consistently used, to distance herself from the actions she was very much a part of.
Her words to me, on Wednesday, after the court hearing:
“ What smear campaign, Min? It’s all in your head”
Her words to me, on Wednesday, after the court hearing:
“ What smear campaign, Min? It’s all in your head”
She denies a smear campaign and her supporters believe her.
Her response to my thread, posted yesterday afternoon, names me, names my twitter handle.
I have decided to include it here:
Her response to my thread, posted yesterday afternoon, names me, names my twitter handle.
I have decided to include it here:
This is the Twitter account of the co-director.
As you can see, the twitter name and posts have been up for nearly a year and a half.
Today, they are still up and the company is STILL claiming there is no smear campaign.
As you can see, the twitter name and posts have been up for nearly a year and a half.
Today, they are still up and the company is STILL claiming there is no smear campaign.
The question that remains to be asked is: How is this acceptable from a company that raises awareness of #vaw #violenceagainstwomen #coercivecontrol and #domesticabuse?
My original thread (which did not name the individuals) talked about some of the things that had occurred. It is, in fact, a drop in the ocean but the only evidence that is available publicly is the twitter account of one of the directors that has been up for nearly 1 and 1/2 yrs
There are many ( even some who understand the dynamics of abuse) who will think that this is an acceptable way of behaving if someone thinks you owe them money. That this behaviour is justified.
Allowed, even.
Allowed, even.
There was a money dispute and an application had been made in the small claims court and that’s how it should have proceeded.
But instead, there was a smear campaign that started with a locked Facebook account several people told me about, that escalated to a full blown smear.
But instead, there was a smear campaign that started with a locked Facebook account several people told me about, that escalated to a full blown smear.
And, at the time of writing this thread ( 10:16 am on 11th January 2020), the twitter account of the co director of the company that raises awareness of domestic abuse is unchanged.
Which brings me full circle to the question at the beginning of this thread.
HOW can you expect others to recognise abuse when you play a part in overlooking it?
#domesticabuse
#coercivecontrol
#cyberbullying
#virtualmobbing
#harassment
HOW can you expect others to recognise abuse when you play a part in overlooking it?
#domesticabuse
#coercivecontrol
#cyberbullying
#virtualmobbing
#harassment
What’s the point of training, if it doesn’t address biases, wilful blindness or suspension of disbelief?
What’s the point of raising awareness, if we ignore the abuse of those we like?
#cognitivedissonance
#inherentbias
#domesticabuse
#bullying
What’s the point of raising awareness, if we ignore the abuse of those we like?
#cognitivedissonance
#inherentbias
#domesticabuse
#bullying
If we are serious, I mean really SERIOUS, not lip-service serious, about understanding abuse better, It’s about time we looked, not just at the severe/high risk end of the spectrum, but at the microaggressions at the lower end of the spectrum & understand their cumulative impact.
Otherwise we will NEVER understand patterns of behaviour and inceptions points of course of conduct offences like:
#coercivecontrol
#stalking
#harassment
#postseparationabuse
#bullying
#cyberbullying
#virtualmobbing
#coercivecontrol
#stalking
#harassment
#postseparationabuse
#bullying
#cyberbullying
#virtualmobbing
If you are the target of a smear campaign and #virtualmobbing, it is important to identify the main protagonist and concentrate on holding them account.
“ Bad men need nothing more to compass their ends, than that good men should look on and do nothing.”
― John Stuart Mill, Inaugural Address Delivered to the University of St Andrews, 2/1/1867
― John Stuart Mill, Inaugural Address Delivered to the University of St Andrews, 2/1/1867
