OK. Hockey parents, hear my story. This here is a rather good Midget goalie for the Baltimore Stars. Happens to be related to me. We are in the middle of a game in DC. Things have gotten... esoteric. 
It's 3rd period, Baltimore is getting dominated (seems like a night for that), but he is holding them in it. Having a really good game. Until a shot from the blue line evades his blocker for a real stinker to make it 3-0. He is furious, which, his being Russian, means trouble...
A kid from the local squad charges the crease and stumbles over him. He responds with a punch to the back of the head with his trapper. The kid turns around and meekly punches back. The goalie goes Stalingrad and unleashes a double-handed swing with the stick. Fruit Ninja style.
The game stops, no kidding, for 15 minutes as the refs are trying to figure out what to do with him. There are police lights outside, which, this being DC, could he anything, but, you know...
The other coach goes ballistic demanding an ejection, a lifetime ban, ICE, ISIS, the electric chair and no candy for a month. I tell from the bleachers things like: "Hey, he is actually a good kid. He reads books! They are paper things. They don't have those in Virginia."
The refs discuss forever and give him 15 min. A major + misconduct. He stays in the net. Virginia, outshooting us like 100-3 at this point, thirsts for blood.
At one point, with the faceoff in neutral ice he, screams at the refs: "Why didn't you toss me? I totally deserved it!"
At one point, with the faceoff in neutral ice he, screams at the refs: "Why didn't you toss me? I totally deserved it!"
He is a real goalie, sanity-wise.
Anyhow, we are down 6-0 currently with him still having a save percentage north of .900. I am afraid the handshake like will leave few survivors.
Anyhow, we are down 6-0 currently with him still having a save percentage north of .900. I am afraid the handshake like will leave few survivors.
It's over, thankfully. He went through the handshake line screaming obscenities at himself and saying "It's all because i love hockey so fucking much."
Canada, how are you on population? Can you fit a man in pads up there?
Canada, how are you on population? Can you fit a man in pads up there?
