Me: Whaaaat? No way. Who'd you talk to at my insurance?
Me: What's the cash self-pay rate, if I don't use insurance?
Them: Uh, $300
Me: Okay I guess I'll pay cash then
Them: Fine. But the radiology charge will be separate, and I don't know what their self-pay fee is
Me: Can you find out for me?
Me: Wait, while you had me on hold I checked my plan info...
Me: It says my CT scan copay should be $300, not $500
Me: So... can you call my insurance
Them: ... [sighs] Fine, sure
Me: So... you're actually not in my insurance plan, is what you're saying?
Them: Sure. So you know that's a $400 copay, right?
Me: My plan info here says $300.
Them: Is that 2020 plan info?
Me: I mean, your website gave it to me! So it's [looks] ... from 2015
Them: We can only vouch for our negotiated rate. That's why I tell people, if self-pay is cheaper, don't use the insurance.
Them: ... I know, right?
Them: Well, they're in your plan
Them: Buuuut they'll bill you as a hospital outpatient, so you're on the hook for coinsurance, let's find you an independent in-plan imaging office
Me: Yes! My ENT, when they got approval from you guys for the imaging
Them: Yeah no, $100 is for *X-rays*. Which *also* means your *CT scan* is not approved. Whew, good thing you didn't go to that appointment!
Them: The copay covers everything at an approved imaging center. Does the $300 self-pay, or is radiology and disk space extra?
Me: I... dunno?
Them: Me neither, I'm just asking