So. There's a thing I've seen in my time on social justice internet where a white person is giving their white opinion on some piece of art/media that involves Black people. Like a TV show with Black characters that are based in stereotypes. I LIKE THIS SHOW says the white person
Now Black people have already been in conversation about this show and the problems with the characters or the story arcs or whatever. Some Black folks are very vocal in their dislike of the show, some are vocal about their enjoyment. But the white person? They are ALL IN.
And they start telling the Black people how wrong they are about the flaws of the show. About how they should like these characters because because because. And when Black folks push back and tell this white person to stay in their lane... well it's just the worst thing ever.
The white tears start to flow. Perhaps there is a brief flounce from the conversation. But the flounce never lasts, & the white person comes back after the conversation has started to evolve a little to be like YOU WERE ALL SO WRONG AND YOUR CRITICISM IS LIKE MURDER... or whatevs
And then the white person starts retweeting or sharing or copy/pasting the Black folks who did like the characters/show as if to go: SEE? SEE? THESE BLACK PEOPLE HERE AGREE WITH ME AND THEREFORE ALL YOU OTHER BLACK PEOPLE WERE WRONG.
As if Black people are a monolith.
As if Black people are a monolith.
As if there's some magical number of Black ppl feeling a way about a thing that rolls over into The Black Opinion or The Black Judgment on the thing.
Meanwhile, this is not abt how those Black people, agreeing or disagreeing felt. It's abt that white person wanting to be right.
Meanwhile, this is not abt how those Black people, agreeing or disagreeing felt. It's abt that white person wanting to be right.
It's about that white person insisting that their read, their opinion, was the correct one all along. They're not supporting the Black people who agree with them, they're supporting their own narrative of rightness because they cannot possibly have been wrong about a thing.
That white person is Woke. They know all about prejudice. They have a Black friend. The lurkers support them in email. And to have ever questioned their white rightness and allyship for the cause was WORSE than any racism the Black folks deal with or are trying to discuss.
I have seen this happen again and again and again and again in discussions around race. I've seen it play out with straight people in discussions around non-hetero sexuality. I've seen it play out with able-bodied people in discussions of disability.
And each time the thing I want to say to that white or straight or able-bodied person is:
SIT THE FUCK DOWN AND STOP. TALKING.
SIT THE FUCK DOWN AND STOP. TALKING.
This is not what being an ally is about. You coming in and going I AM HERE TO SUPPORT THESE BLACK PEOPLE WHO ARE BEING CRUELLY MISUSED is centering yourself. You insisting on only bringing up the people who agree with you is centering yourself.
This shit ain't about you, Becky.
This shit ain't about you, Becky.
If you see yourself falling into this trap -- even if you are a person who tries to be a good ally and does the social justice thing and even if you are from a marginalized group yourself -- I am asking you to take a bunch of deep breaths and stop.
No identity group is a monolith and sometimes what needs to happen is the people IN the group need to have that conversation amongst themselves. Cuz it's messy and it's family.
You wanna be supportive? Go do that in the background AND WHEN ASKED.
You wanna be supportive? Go do that in the background AND WHEN ASKED.
Thank you for coming to my TempestTalk.
