Been a while to come of these threads and here, I am trying to address some do's and don'ts while supporting a loved one who is experiencing suicidal ideation/intent. If a loved one is admitting to experiencing suicidal ideation, it's a positive sign.
Do - Practice active listening. Don't hear to only respond. Hold the space for venting. It's an admission to exhaustion, despair, feelings of isolation and more. Maintain a soft tone in voice, reassuring in language, control over facial expressions & non verbal cues.
Do - Validate in responses and engage in empathetic questioning. Responses like 'I am sorry you have been feeling this way', 'that sounds exhausting', 'for how long have you been feeling this way?' can encourage them to feel safe enough to disclose more.
Do - Engage in exploratory conversation about their feelings. Keep the conversation going. It'll help them externalise their feelings, provide support, safety and also reduce feelings of hopelessness. Ensure that they are talking more, not you. Ask how you can help them.
Do - Engage in talking about the suicidal thoughts. Ask direct yet compassionate questions like 'have you thought about how you would do it?' 'do you have what you need to go through with it?' 'when do you think you will do it?'
Do - Express concern by using 'I' narratives - 'I am worried that you might end your life.' 'I want to help you'. Offer resources for professional help. If you believe that they are in immediate danger, let them know that you will be contacting their family/authorities.
Don't - Offer advice. Do not offer quick solutions that are not asked for or engage in rational arguments about their circumstances. This person comes from a place of helplessness and unsolicited advice can feel dismissive and reinforce negative thoughts.
Don't - Enforce guilt. Telling someone that they are being a nuisance, they are causing damage to their family, that they are overreacting/that they need to learn to handle their stuff, are not an expressions of empathy and compassion. This can push them away & be more dangerous
Don't - Hesitate to call for help. If you feel like their life is in immediate danger, do not hesitate to call their family/friends/authorities. They might require hospitalisation. This could cause a reaction from them/ rupture to your relationship,but it could save their life.
Don't - Hesitate to process the experience. Being with someone who experiences active suicidal ideation can feel extremely stressful. Talk to a friend, family, member, a therapist. Address the feelings this brought up for you and develop spaces to cope with the same.
Warning signs for suicide include: Making direct statements like 'I am going to kill myself', expressing feelings of hopelessness, withdrawing from loved ones, saying goodbye as if they won't be talking to you again, talking frequently about death or dying..(1/n)
...storing pills - poison - sharp objects or other means to self-harm, engaging in risky behaviors of drug/alcohol abuse/driving recklessly/crossing the street without looking at surroundings, experiencing frequent mood swings.
Some helpline resources in India: economictimes.indiatimes.com/industry/misce…
