1. Adventures in American parenting: My son’s daycare sent him home with a list of the other babies in his class entitled “For Valentine’s Day.” My son can’t yet speak much less write so the implication is that I, his mom, will fill out cards for a bunch of babies all under age 1
2. My first reaction was awwww, how cute. My second was the revolted immigrant Rukmini, one whose mom never helped me with homework, and who once came to my cross-country meet, embarrassing me so thoroughly by running after me with a liter of Evian, I asked her not to come again
3. For most of elementary & high school, I was mortified by how my family couldn’t get with the program. For example, trying to give Trick or Treaters $1 bills. Like the kids were strippers. When I insisted it had to be candy, they tried placing sticky cupcakes in their pumpkins
4. So I guess I would be setting up my son for a future Tweetstorm of this kind (18 years from now, when he gets his first phone, she says optimistically to herself) if I don’t buy the damn cards and spend Thursday night filling them out and signing the name of a 9-month old boy.
5. Upon reflection, I’ve answered my own question. Get with the program, Rukmini. (There’s going to be hell to pay if my baby doesn’t come home Friday with 20 similarly cute cards addressed to him in the name of 20 other babies, ghostwritten by their equally overworked parents). 
6. A Valentine’s Day Update: Last night, my husband and I stayed up filling out cute little cards with the names of the 20+ babies in my son’s daycare class. Sorry fellow moms who sent me fist pump emojis & messages about fighting the power. I caved. But guess what, it was fun:
7. Part of me felt proud. I may have come here as an immigrant but I’m now 100% American. My son won’t have stories to tell about how his parents never got the subtleties of our culture. When I called to check on him, I half expected the teacher to complement me on my great cards
8. Then I got home and found this: Valentine’s Day giftbags, snacks and mini-toys from the other parents, uh, babies. @kairyssdal points out that $27 billion is spent on Valentine’s every year, of which $1.9 billion goes to Valentine’s gifts for children, or their classmates:
9. @kairyssdal was also nice enough to interview me about what it was like to ghostwrite messages that said “There’s no-bunny else like you” (next to a picture of a rabbit) to my baby’s classmates: marketplace.org/2020/02/14/par…
