Thread by @_AfricanSoil

[ISITHEMBU - POLYGAMY]

There were THREE reasons why a man would have isithembu and I'll deal with each

•If the wife couldn't bare children/ was terminally Ill
•If his brother had passed away
•Marry what they call "umjendevu" a woman who has never been married

Thread

Firstly; with polygamy (an ancient african practice - not just in the Zulu culture) a man wouldn't't just wake up and decide he needed a second wife. Polygamy has nothing to do with lust or cheating

1. If there was a situation were a woman struggled with conceiving; elderly women would try to assist her to conceive. If nothing worked; she would have discussions with her family and the man's family to allow her husband to take the second wife to bare children for him

2. There were times where you'd find the wife is terminally ill; ultimately struggling to fullfil her role as the wife.

She would take it upon herself to inform her in laws and family; request that the husband take the second wife to assist with the "running" of their home

3. These were ways (then) to show she wasn't selfish; wayefuna kukhule umndeni; into ayeyizele and didn't want the husband to struggle with ukunakekela ikhaya. Especially in situations where she was sick

She would even suggest this to the husband. Go as far as choosing the wife

4. This also helped with harmony ekhaya; them getting along because the wife would have wanted this and picked someone who she saw fit to "assist" her

Not what we see on Mseleku's cheaters show where side chicks are imposed on wives.

5. When the brother passes away

Uma ubhuti wendoda eshona; the brother would engage families ukuthi the widow ahlale eduze nabo to take care of her & children

The wife would be consulted; then it was commonly practiced so kwakungabi yinkinga. He would even build a house for her

6. In time; wayegcina esewinkosikazi wesibili. Wayengalotsholwa ngoba kukuthiwa izinkomo sezakhishwa but yayihlatshwa imbuzi ukubika isimo nokuchaza ukuthi uzovusa ikhaya

7. Umjendevu: A bachorelette or a woman who has never been married aze abe mdala

In the olden days; kwakungafuneki umuntu wesifazane ogugela kubo; so imindeni yayikhulumisana ukuthi indoda efuna isithembu ikhulumisane nomndeni. Wayehanjiswa owesifazabe abakubo ayogana.

8. All this other nonsense you get told about polygamy is rubbish.

You can't just impose a person on someone and expect all to be normal. Umuntu unemizwa and that led to people being poisoned and caused commotions because of polygamy not done properly

9. Stop promoting nonsense; there is HIV/AIDS

Don't introduce a culture yobufebe and call it polygamy. A man respects his first wife so much that if she doesn't want a second wife; he doesn't do it.

Not the rubbish Musa Mseleku is showing you. That's cheating and lust

10. Polygamy is not widely practiced as it was like in the olden days. It's still there; but not necessarily a "Zulu culture" but an African practice

Polygamy needs money; respect; responsibility, fairness and knowing why you're in a polygamy marriage not it being imposed.