A friend DM’d me in horror asking me how I could possibly say this with any sort of confidence. 😅 Let me explain this in more detail. This is “layer by layer” thinking, and it’s informed by both logic and hundreds of conversations with people about their issues
1. There are already lots of dating apps in existence. If I think I need *another* one, it likely means I’m already unsuccessful on all of them, which is more likely to be something to do with me than with the apps. (and if it’s somehow the apps, a new one won’t be different)
2. People are already meeting romantic partners on Twitter all the time. You can break this down into sub-steps: “people like other users -> meet each other -> flirt with each other -> escalate the relationship”.
This is functionally similar to a sales funnel
This is functionally similar to a sales funnel
3. Either people like me or they don’t. I’m either flirting with those people or I’m not. They either enjoy that or they don’t, and then I either enjoy them, or I don’t.
Each step is fairly binary and maps onto each “issue”. I’ve spoken with dozens of people stuck at each stage
Each step is fairly binary and maps onto each “issue”. I’ve spoken with dozens of people stuck at each stage
I met quite a few dudes stuck in stage 3 back in my music days- great at winning crowds, great flirts, but fundamentally needy and insecure. They had no shortage of dates, but they were being “sabotaged” by their own internal complications
“How could that guy on stage not enjoy his own company?” some do - Prince, Bowie, Hendrix were all egs of dudes who clearly did - but lots of others end up onstage as a coping mechanism. You get good at seeking validation from others in part bc you’re bad at giving it to yourself
People at 4 (who have 1, 2 and 3 taken care of) are kinda funny to me. I’ve seen some of y’all on twitter. Charismatic, post-traumatic growth... and also almost ascetic, detached. Kinda Buddha-like. I don’t think they’d be complaining about apps. But it’s why they’re not dating
Social reality is a landscape that can be traversed. You can go almost anywhere, do almost anything, as long as you do the appropriate study, preparation and self-examination. But few people do this bc most people come to identify with the section of the landscape they inherited
