Thread by @EvanAxelbank

This is Muriel Anita “Mickey” Axelbank.

My grandmother died last night of #coronavirus #COVID2019

I said goodbye to her over FaceTime on Friday. She roused from sleep to give me one last acknowledgement. But it wasn’t the moment she deserved, not after 91-and-a-half years

She never never wanted anything but to be surrounded by friends and family. That’s what made her rich.

Cooking, phone calls, Broadway shows, sleepovers, games, advice, morals.

Every time she’d see one of us, she give the tightest hug

Last night though, when she died at the assisted living facility, it was without any family. Her wonderful aide, Yvette, was there. She was by her side during her final years.

Of course, Yvette was wearing gloves, goggles, a mask, and otherwise covered head-to-toe.

Her death isn’t a tragedy, but the way she died was

This is what #Coronavirus robbed

The chance to hold her

The chance to feel her, and her us

There will be six people at her funeral, her riches, deprived

Anyway, I’d like to tell you a little about her life

She was born in New York in 1929, the daughter of a woman who came to America alone when she was 13

My grandma, born Muriel Korowitz, was also a daughter of Washington Heights. She was Ms. Personality at GW high school

She married Eli Axelbank in 1950, when she was 21.

Just before, she wrote the greatest diary entry of all time

“I’m engaged to the most wonderful fellow I’ve ever known. I’m very much in love and we are to be married on Sun June 11. As I look back on these pages, I realize what a silly kid I was. But now I know what love is...

...and I need no special interests! All I need is Eli and I know I’ll be ‘happy forever after.’ I’m in love!! I’m in love!!”

She and Eli had three kids. Arthur, Gary (my dad) and Jeff. They raised them in the 14-story building my dad still lives in on Sedgwick Ave in the Bronx

My grandma and grandpa were both teachers. He was principal of Monroe High School, she was principal of Marble Hill Nursery School, both in the Bronx.

One year, some parents demanded she fire a woman who spoke English with an accent

I can promise you, that didn’t happen

In 1982, my grandpa Eli died of colon cancer. It was a crushing loss

Look at what the cancer did to her Eli, over just a year

Get yourself screened!

Then she started having grandchildren. Two from each son and their wives, Suzanne (my mom), Susi and Lori.

One girl, one boy. Six of them. Me, Rachel, Jacob, Shawn (my sister), Ariella and Elan.

We became her life.

She lived in the apartment she raised her kids in. Never thought of moving. I lived twelve floors up from her, which was amazingly important to my development. We became so, so close.

She lived in her apartment close to sixty years, pouring herself into her community. Not sure what was on her mind here, but I bet she was spitting straight 🔥🔥🔥

Her sons put her into an assisted living facility in 2017. She never lost her personality, but she certainly lost her cognitive ability, eventually unable to hold a meaningful conversation. It was devastating. But anyway, here are some silly memories. She was the BEST

Last year, she was unable to travel, so after our wedding in Tampa, @HaleyHinds and I went to New York to hold a wedding in a pizza place, so she could see her eldest grandchild get married.

I was always struck by this juxtaposition. She made me so happy, from beginning to end.

So that’s it

She was the giant of our family, and is now intertwined in American history

Daughter of immigrants, parent, teacher, community woman, grandparent, victim of a pandemic

We will eventually have a memorial service, but for now, we must grieve the sweet woman alone

I love you, Grandma.

As you’d say to me during our sleepovers, right before I fell asleep:

Sleep tight
Wake up bright
When the morning’s light
To do what’s right
With all your might