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Umbereen S. Nehal, MD, MPH Profile picture
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17 Mar, 26 tweets, 18 min read
When I look at the news today, the violence, as much as missing my mom today was super painful, I am glad she is in a better place, at peace. I thought of her constantly. So many things I wanted to discuss with her. But she was too good for this world. Now nothing can hurt her.
My mom and I used to often chat about the state of the world. She was both progressive and conservative. Many immigrant and South Asian women lack self compassion in order to manage the lack of support, the biases while still needing to get it all done. Mommy was a perfectionist.
In recent years we talked of racism. She was starting to recognize her internalized so-called “model minority” biases as I had needed to do myself. We talked at length on #DrSusanMoore when she read my LinkedIn repost of this 🧵 @TamorahLewisMD

“I never thought of it that way”
The family had been thru some awful stuff in Partition and then the split of East and West Pakistan. South Asian and Muslim women do not talk of our trauma. I once, tho, I literally told her, “Momma, that is racist.” Thing about my mom: I could say anything to her. She reflected.
Some people mislabel “bully” for “That is racist.”

Hiding issues perpetuates them.

We just had 6 Asian women shot on one day. Look at #DrSusanMoore #BreonnaTaylor #GeorgeFloyd etc

Yet I am wrong/the bad person to speak on race and racism?

I speak up
Again & again & again
My frequent error:
I mistakenly assume other women will be like my mother or how she raised me

-self examine
-hold oneself accountable
-make no excuses
-no matter your own trauma you are responsible for how you treat others and the outcomes you generate
-always be ethical
In fact, from Amy Cooper to current @TIMESUPHC controversy, the reason I marginalize myself/am marginalized in women’s groups is that “I am a victim” is misused to justify no accountability

You can be traumatized
AND
Still work within ethics

We must, in fact
We must do better
Momma’s sources of trauma, whether generational from Partition or personal, are not my story to tell. What I can tell you is she was always willing to listen. She read a lot. She reflected deeply. She admitted fault. She had unshakeable ethics. She cared for all humanity.
Take a look at my tweets. Look at my emotional regulation during as traumatic an event as losing my mother. Then look at how a @USCViterbi #MedTwitter #SciComm crafted a false narrative - starting with unrelated trauma then speaking of race as “harassment” medium.com/@smojarad/onli…
Young early career women, especially with no clinical credentials, seeking to please those in power to gain a foothold in a lucrative industry

who attack accomplished WOC physicians

are trained foot soldiers of the “leadership” who deny medical racism

ama-assn.org/about/leadersh…
In context of @TIMESUPHC and @OHSUNews I did speak up when I saw unverified information about a then unnamed black trainee whom I did not know. I stand by that.

I also stand by this well articulated (better than my ability) response to the sexual assault allegations
We MUST believe women on sexual assault

Men get assaulted as well, especially LGBTQ

Much of the Abu Ghraib torture and prisoner abuse was sexual in nature by men to men to “feminize” men as “degradation”

Believe women

It keeps us ALL safe
Like #nashvillebombing on Christmas
I know I have the so-called “pedigree” from @EmmaWillard @HarvardChanSPH @MIT to be “elite” but like women and men in my family for generations, we care for those at the margins. It’s why you will see me publish

mededportal.org/doi/full/10.15… ImageImageImageImage
Like @LadyDoctorSays posted of her brilliant, courageous, martyred aunt gunned down for being an outspoken women yet not given credit for work that cost her life

Women who speak truth to power (not serve as female foot soldiers of patriarchy) are assaulted, killed, mislabeled
But you could work in a massage parlor and be gunned down

If I am already a walking target, never safe, if my life is so cheap, then I won’t hide. I will speak. What do I have to lose? I could be silent & shot too. May as well live a life worth living.

ft.com/content/dcb253…
Likelihood of my getting shot: not small. @Sarah_Mojarad mislabels me in ways to kill a professional & academic career. Since she took offense at “implicit bias” comment, “anti-terrorism experts” connected to her showing up on my Twitter.

This site’s mislabel? Could get me shot. Image
Had been doing talks on civic engagement, #socialjustice leadership, and #voting in minoritized communities which I have done for almost a decade both independently and as an unpaid volunteer for @HHSGov & @CMSGov

I activated this violent white supremacy

npr.org/2018/10/23/659…
There is the overt violence in the community and then there is the bloodless academic and workplace violence like done to @ayshakhoury or @uche_blackstock and too many others as described by @COCoQC

Feminist groups that talk of “safe spaces” are not safe for BIPOC women ImageImageImageImage
I am far too familiar with the bloodless violence of workplaces. I have spoken on it with @becker_sbecker on his #podcast that was #1 for ~1 year, educating #business executives on the costs of #racism to #quality and #safety

I leave places over #ethics

go.beckershospitalreview.com/scott-becker-i…
As we see in @TIMESUPHC or with this Carly Fiorina story for women to “succeed”, accommodate sexism, bullying, harassment

Women jettison ethics to move fast & far

Having ethics, yes, does hold you back

It is an ugly truth women’s conferences ignore

bizjournals.com/bizwomen/news/…
Vs non-white women that sexism is fetishized.

Women who succeed in #media monetize the racist and orientalist tropes of porn that inform men in America how to see me

no matter how demurely I am dressed in the c-suite

I am made powerless when men see this in me
Which is why, white women, you canNOT use the word “powerless.”

I have to be SO resilient everyday

in a country of my birth that rejects me - literally a Muslim ban was passed

in a profession that denies my validity, etc, etc

Stop with the fragile emotions
Deliver results
That said, I respect that @ColleenKraft responded and considered my response to her. On one hand we cannot police/censor each other’s words. On the other hand a white women leader has to understand the impact of words on WOC who are treated like this in #Pediatrics @PASMeeting
Yes, I am pulling a Tevye, but we NEED to maintain equipoise.

That is NOT the same as debating if assault is real.

Rather we can look at the same truth from multiple perspectives and assess harm.

Right now with #COVID19 it is all about lesser harm.

Yes, wait for the facts.

Yes, due process.

Yes, lawsuits must play out for a fair trial that is a pillar or democracy.

One can also commit to transparency and clearly state principles, however.

If/then statements satisfy above:
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More from @usnehal

Umbereen S. Nehal, MD, MPH Profile picture
21 Mar
This is beautiful. The masjid/Islamic center of Colorado served the neighborhood, reducing barriers for all, regardless of faith.
The U.S. government is responsible for the this vaccine hesitancy from these past ethics violations that abused the hard work of humanity public health workers who had painstakingly gained trust over years. Trust takes time to rebuild.

npr.org/sections/thetw…
That’s why I’ve been working with various Muslim groups to spread factual, trustworthy information to communities on #COVID19, #VaccinesWork

Read 4 tweets
Umbereen S. Nehal, MD, MPH Profile picture
21 Mar
@rezaaslan Honestly, we are past a point of thinking all brown is the same. There is tremendous diversity in South Asia.

The accent. The way of talking. The head movements. None of it is remotely Afghan. There was a way to actually represent Afghan or Pathan culture beyond casting.
@rezaaslan Asking the people whose identity is being used to either play the part or at least inform the character development is essential to moving past caricatures to representation.

As for brown savior: Mammies often “saved” their mistresses/masters.

harpersbazaar.com/culture/film-t…
@rezaaslan Key part of the article on way Mammies are portrayed.

I’d like to see how this sitcom would be different.

I get the argument that it is important to get sympathetic/likable Muslim characters on the screen. Maybe this is the extent of progress possible.
But was it? Image
Read 11 tweets
Umbereen S. Nehal, MD, MPH Profile picture
20 Mar
Am grateful my #endometriosis and #fibroids only affects me severely one day a cycle and is not severe every cycle. Still that one day can make me unable to get out of bed or sit up without passing out. Severity worsens with stress.

Today I feel have my life back. Thank God.
Mind you, my definition of severe is “I pass out from pain.” I don’t know if it is really a good thing I self suppress so well that I don’t even feel or react to pain until it threatens my ability to stay conscious. I don’t glamorize “grit” that is a lack of self compassion
It is an accommodation to the pathology in the world we live that was apparent with the events this week. 6 Asian women killed but the compassion was for the killer who “had a bad day” by authorities while the women were mislabeled as sex workers to validate their deaths.
Read 31 tweets
Umbereen S. Nehal, MD, MPH Profile picture
18 Mar
Sometimes you need a physician-child to physician-child call. “I hope you know none of this is your fault.”

Thankfully I have been really effective at not going down dark paths of coulda shoulda woulda.

I helped Daddy stay in right frame of mind.

We live in shaming society.
Still, it meant a lot that someone I went to school with called with that, likely sharing what he knows from loss of a parent as well.

The people who have lost a parent get it.

I can see why there are grief circles.

Some people get it.
People outside of clinical medicine (or even in it) also can assume doctors have unending power, privilege, access.

One auntie “with your girls as daughters I assumed she had the best of everything.” She likely did not hear what she said to a grieving daughter. Implies failure.
Read 8 tweets
Umbereen S. Nehal, MD, MPH Profile picture
18 Mar
My mother’s aunt just passed away. That was the last of the old guard. Please pray for her soul.
Thank you for the condolences.

Without going into too many details, we had always lived in different countries and I knew of her more than knew her.

There is an awareness of loss because South Asian and Muslim women do not often tell their stories.
I am disrupting (yet again) with all my social media posting because it goes against so many cultural and family values.

So many ppl have asked me when I will publish a book, novel. I can’t tell “my” stories without affecting others.

And no, that is not always oppression.
Read 20 tweets
Umbereen S. Nehal, MD, MPH Profile picture
18 Mar
On reading this my thoughts:
-not a primary care field
-two-specialist couple
-focus in procedures and lucrative call, not humans being treated
-these “options” possible if one has chronic illness, elder care, etc
-derisive towards colleagues
-no interest in equity

Realistic?
It’s great that doctor made it work to retire at 43 and have gotten the math right all along. If one is going to judge colleagues, though, be ready for the reverse. We have a rising maternal mortality rate and increasing disparity. IUDs are an important part of reducing that, yes
Even if we stick just to ob/gyn field: some may wish to not only be the “IUD queen” (birth control is SUPER important - not at all discounting it), what about the ob/gyn who chooses to live in NYC and focus in whole person care for WOC who do give birth?

health.ny.gov/community/adul… ImageImageImageImage
Read 18 tweets

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