1/ Welcome to the early weekend Brexitlandia edition
2/ In Gamer terms the UK and EU have completed level 1 👾👾👾👏
3/ The EU published its phase 2 guidelines which even at this hour make for an interesting read 😳
4/ The EU notes the U.K. would like a transition of around 2 years but says nothing as to how long may really be needed. 2 could become 3, 4 or 5 🤔
5/ however long it is the EU says EU law should apply but the UK gets no voice. So until at least March 2021 there will be no taking back of any control by the UK 😬
6/ And so Liam Fox will have even longer to not negotiate trade deals as the UK tries to negotiate a final deal with the EU which will impact what Liam Fox can then agree to with others 😏
7/ After all the UK will want a deal with its closest market and doing deals with third countries that make a deal with the EU harder will not help clinch that EU deal - especially if they contain chlorinated chicken 🐔
8/ Third countries will also what to see what the U.K./ EU deal is before committing themselves as they won't want to undermine existing or new deals with the EU so it really could be a game of 🐔and 🥚for Liam Fox 🦊
9/ And in the meantime FOM will still apply which means the Maybot's target of reducing immigration will not be met again🙈. The Maybot may well explode at this point 🤖
10/ But that is unfair as the Maybot did write in the Standard this week how pleased she was to secure the rights of EU citizens. Some may question her sincerity since she did once organise vans to go round telling Jonny Foreigner to fuck off 🤔🤔
11/ The dastardly ECJ will also continue to interpret EU law to ensure consistent legal application and a level playing field which some consider the legal manifestation of evil 😈
12/ The EU wants phase 1 put into legal effect asap because Cretinus Maximus @DavidDavisMP has shown himself to either a liar or incredibly shit at his job.
13/ The conscientious observer will note the fall back position for Ireland is full alignment which means complying with SM/CU potentially for beyond the transition 😵
14/ which means more 🥚or 🐔for Liam Fox. Still by 2021 he should have completed his bucket list of travel destinations at our expense 😤
15/ The EU also made clear they will talk about a future framework buyback a future deal can only be struck once the UK leaves 😮
16/ This may shock the Maybot who thinks the billion pound divide settlement gets the UK a trade deal. It does not 🤡
17/ and the EU talks of a level playing field and not upsetting third countries with whom it has deals. Which suggests it won't let the UK agree trade deals with lower standards or that are deep and special 🤗
18/ That limits Liam Fox to travelling around in circles and rules out Canada +++. 😜
19/ The UK may rue the day it stopped Canada getting better service terms in its FTA as it now seeks the same but the EU is constrained by a most favoured nation clause 🤓
20/ When one notes that 80% of the Uk economy is services that is in lay terms a bit rubbish
21/ The EU also calls for the U.K. to say what it wants by way of future trade deal which is funny because the UK does not know as it did not do any impact assessments or have a Cabinet discussion prior to triggering article 50 🤣🤣🤣🤣
22/ Liam Fox said the UK wants virtually the same arrangements but without the cost, obligations or foreigners 🤡
23/ Rumour has it a special series of Celebrity Death Match will be commissioned with the Cabinet fighting it out each week to see who is the last person standing with their own red lines 🤼♂️
24/ and whatever the red lines they will all crumble against the reality of the Good Friday Agreement and the legally binding phase 1 agreement 🕸
25/ Perhaps the Cabinet can have a Christmas team building day watching Escape to Victory for inspiration and imaginative solutions 🦄
