Been thinking a lot about the men saying they aren’t going to have private meetings with women anymore because they’re afraid of being falsely accused of sexual harassment.
There’s a lot to unpack there. Let’s start with simple logistics: all women? How about non-binary folks & other gender minorities? What about women they aren’t attracted to, and/or who aren’t attracted to them? What about women who could help them?
What about gay men? What about men they suspect are gay? What if they themselves are gay or bi or pansexual?
IF they could assemble a coherent set of rules (doubtful), how would they actually do it? Are they going to make their assistants do a “gender assessment” on everyone who wants a meeting? Make them fill out a google form ahead of time to prove they’re in the acceptable class?
This sounds ridiculous because it is. Nobody would actually do it this way.
If one of these dudes “followed through,” there would be very little change in his outward behavior.
He’d keep doing actual business with other men, mostly, & with a few women he’s not attracted to. Just like he does now.
He’d keep doing actual business with other men, mostly, & with a few women he’s not attracted to. Just like he does now.
He might, for a while, stop taking individual meetings with women he’s attracted to. But with the kind of dude that makes this threat, those meetings were always ceremonial and meaningless anyway.
This kind of dude can only take women seriously if he doesn’t want to fuck them.
This kind of dude can only take women seriously if he doesn’t want to fuck them.
And they’re annoyed that we’re asking them to take all women seriously. This threat is just pique, and it’s childish.
“But Sarah,” you might say, “not ALL men who do this are boys who never learned to regulate their entitlement, or their attraction to other people.”
And yes, I would say, you are right.
The ones who aren’t are the bona fide predators.
And yes, I would say, you are right.
The ones who aren’t are the bona fide predators.
But ultimately I don’t think these men matter much. They might have been able to get away with this 10 years ago - i.e., they might have been able to stay in business & be successful without working directly with women.
But those days are over. Dudes better learn how to check their entitlement & regulate their desire, or they’ll find themselves ignored & discarded, cut out of important deals.
