Recently moved back to California and had to get a new drivers license. This is my story (thread)...
My family has a tradition of being officially documented as by the government as characters, because they don't know we're not those people. My dad started this tradition in the 70s. Here is my brother's latest: 
I have had several over the last couple decades and states... 
Today I wanted to take advantage of my relatively longer hair and lack of mustache, but my idea would need a lot of steps to transform this wholesome young boy. 
Phase 1: start-up CEO/barista/lyft driver 
Phase 2: Alex Jones: Supreme Court Justice 
Phase 3: Mean Surfer #7 (uncredited), Point Break (1991) 
Phase 4: Aaron Carter becomes a birthday clown after his solo album tanks. 
Phase 5: CHAPPiE's biological father 
Phase 666 (final phase): Not just a prodigy, I'm THE PRODIGY. 
When processing my paperwork, the DMV employee comments, "well you're gonna need a new photo, you look nothing like your last California ID." She is referring to this one: 
Unfortunately when taking the official photo the picture person doesn't let me snarl my lip. But I'm snarling them with my eyes.
Also- CURVEBALL! I have to take a written driving test! Did u know you're not allowed to park in front of your own driveway? But I said u could because FUCK THE GOVERNMENT and I barely passed.
Anyway. ID gets mailed in 2 weeks but for the next couple months my hair is gonna be a little extra so be cool about it.
To sum up/TL;DR...
I got a punk drivers license even tho I am NOT a punk but it is a prank on the lame government so technically I AM a punk?! 
Also I acknowledge this is only something a white guy can do. I think that is tragic and want every person regardless of race, religion, or gender to have this frivolous of a relationship with people who check their IDs.
Ok end thread for now. Off to @ComedyCentral's @corporate premier party. I hope they have a dress code so I can break it and fulfill my destiny.
UPDATE: Just got this text from my brother, who spent half his 20s in the peace corps and hence never started a FB account... 
He spent too much time in the jungle and now he's the 'Nell' of the internet.
