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Cleolinda Jones @cleolinda
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Okay, had to play with my dog and fight a territory battle, let’s get to it. Side note, I have finally finished all seven of General Kenobi’s stars. This is a momentous day. #sithmas
So around this point I like to sum up where the story order including current films as brought us. Consider that now, the Rebellion has recently blown up the Eadu facility, forced the destruction of Scarif, and *exploded the fucking Death Star.* #sithmas
The Empire: they mad. And then I realized that all the movie titles had taken on this well-worn War Drobe of Spare Oom quality in my head. I hear the phonemes but not the meanings, you know? Ohhhhh, the Empire is STRIKING BACK now, yes. I’m smart. #sithmas
ESB in particular was on in the background a lot when I was a kid. And it was always at the Hoth scenes for some reason, always Hoth and never Christmas #sithmas
OH! Probe droids! That’s those fuckers that keep blowing me up in territory battle! Speaking of, the current TB is set on Hoth, and we got yet ANOTHER Han, who is, fittingly enough, a healer. #sithmas
Okay, who had the Tumblr post about how Han flails through Every Emotion when he tries to tell Leia goodbye but she’s completely unimpressed that he’s leaving #sithmas
Oh, before I forget: it’s exactly what I said, and also he discusses the deleted Biggs scene #sithmas
Meanwhile, Leia’s all-white with red lip look is sharp as hell #sithmas
Side note, I really feel like Han simply stating that Jabba is after him is plenty of foreshadowing and nobody needed badly-timed CGI Jabba an entire movie ago, bye #sithmas
Side-side note, autocorrect is fighting me every step of the way here #sithmas
lol, Han trying to insist that LEIA does SO have feelings for HIM with the Rhett Butlerian jab about her needing to be kissed. Luke doesn’t even have a chance, mostly because he’s her brother but still #sithmas
Han straight clamping his hand over Threepio’s mouth is a mood #sithmas
While it is possible to save up for 🎶Your Own. Personal. Wampa.🎶 in the game, I need gear far too badly and have chosen to wooooow that is more gore than I expected #sithmas
So, Luke sabering off the wampa arm, are we considering that foreshadowing #sithmas
I appreciate Han’s ingenuity with the tauntaun, but I do not enjoy it. I mean, the Think Geek sleeping bag is still hilarious, but eeeeughhhhh #sithmas
Also, Obi-Wan completely unhelpful with the marching orders. “Bennnnnn... little busy... dying right nowww” #sithmas
omg Rogue Two is looking for them, I’m gonna crawl back under my desk, brb #sithmas
Man, Luke having to sit there and watch them angrily flirt while he’s still half-frozen, there’s just—oh. oh my goodness. that was unfortunate #sithmas
I’m told a relative of mine was a huge Luke/Leia shipper in the early ‘80s and... well. Thank the Maker the internet wasn’t a thing yet #sithmas
Veers! THERE’S that asshole I’m at 93/100 shards on! The game had so many light-side synergy events that when they rolled out the Imperial side of the territory battle, we were all caught shorthanded, and suddenly we’re all panic-farming THIS dude. #sithmas
Quick stop to switch rooms. The struggle to work this blu-ray player continues to be extremely real. I think I accidentally set it to... German commentary? #sithmas
All this business about shields and ion cannons now makes Territory Battle make a lot more sense. Yeah, there’s me just cheerfully doing whatever you tell me as long as I get guild rewards for it. Mama needs a new pair of carbanti sensors #sithmas
The AT-ATs scene is like the wallpaper of my childhood. Didn’t Kenner have a playset? I knew someone’s kid (I was probably 2-3 years old) who had a Millenium Falcon playset and I was too shy to ask if I could play with it #sithmas
Why did autocorrect take the second N out of “Millennium”? This is just intentional sabotage now. It MATTERS OKAY #sithmas
I am getting word from multiple people that there were many Luke/Leia-themed weddings circa 1980. I really feel like this must have been Harry/Hermione for the early Reagan era #sithmas
Okay, so I’m told a recent (i.e. canonical) comic says that Vader found out Luke’s name and thus his parentage (I mean, “Skywalker,” they didn’t hide it) between ANH/ESB, so right now, he knows? #sithmas
The asteroid field must have looked amazing on a big screen when no one had ever seen anything like this before #sithmas
Man, Dagobah is just like... Bottom of a Month-Old Flower Vase Planet. Like I can SMELL it #sithmas
Ah, a glimpse of Vader before his helmet is on. This has a smidge less impact in story order given that we saw much more of that in Rogue One #sithmas
“Captain, being held by you isn’t quite enough to get me excited.” Siri, find me “list of burn centers in the known galaxy” #sithmas
AHAHAHAHA #sithmas
Okay, I can now confirm my childhood impression that Yoda is low key terrifying #sithmas
Consider for a moment that he was an esteemed Jedi master and Force-flipper at roughly age 900, but a mere 20 years later his giggle is gonna haunt my dreams #sithmas
Negative Power Coupling: The Han and Leia Story #sithmas
Okay, I’m starting to see how Leia’s “stop that (my hands are dirty)” here turned into Padme’s “stop looking at me like that, I’m uncomfortable.” It’s like someone who doesn’t understand why this scene is charged but not creepy tried to replicate it, and... well #sithmas
I honestly do not know how Han in particular has not punted Threepio out into deep space by now. And there’s a later scene I’m thinking of that’s a lot funnier now. #sithmas
Wow, I’m amazed we don’t see Palpatine until a movie and a half into the OT. Also, AHHHHHHHHHH #sithmas
Obviously people have long discussed the significance of Vader and Palpatine discussing “Anakin Skywalker” as a third, *metaphorically* dead person. It does make me laugh how Palpatine says Luke is [Vader’s] son and Vader’s like, “HOW is that POSSIBLE?” #sithmas
“I KNOW I do not have kids, okay? Listen, do you realize how hard it is to get the ladies to swipe right on Tinder when you’re a cyborg nightmare?” “More like Cinder, amirite” “SHUT UP!!” #sithmas
wait wait wait wait wait I just said this and now I’m confused—look, forget it, it’s Star Wars #sithmas
Poor Luke trying to hang out over here in Fraggle Rock or whatever—guys, stop ghost-talking about him, he’s right there #sithmas
Okay, so Yoda casually talking about how he’s watched “this one” closely all this one’s life and Luke’s like “I’m not afraid!” and Yoda leans in and intones “You will be. YOU WILL BE” is NOT MAKING ME FEEL BETTER #sithmas
WELL DON’T GO OUTSIDE FOR GOD’S SAKE (the “cave” is the only other scene I remember being on all the time somehow) #sithmas
I’ve been waiting for this moment. Best I could do to track it down:… #sithmas
Bringing it around again #sithmas
Luke in the cave. This is what happens when you rely on cultural osmosis for 15 years: you don’t catch extremely obvious parallels in later movies #sithmas
Omg that droid, I have that droid, THAT’S why he also has bounty hunter synergy! You are entranced by my gamer realizations, I know #sithmas
Captain Needa volunteering to apologize to Vader for losing the Falcon, will write out his last will and testament on the shuttle ride #sithmas
If I had a wizened frog standing on my feet telling me to lift rocks while I was doing a one-handed handstand in a fucking swamp, well, we would not be saving the galaxy that week, that’s for sure #sithmas
Yoda sitting here moaning about how Luke’s soooo~oooo negative and can’t already lift a fucking X-wing. HE’S BEEN TRAINING FOR LIKE ONE AFTERNOON! Is this where Exiled Retiree Luke gets it from? #sithmas
“Too old to train, he is! Had toddlers doing this by lunch, we could have!” #sithmas
Chewie’s roars are rendered on the captions as “GAAHHH!” #sithmas
Cloud City is another setting I like. Also this entire subplot is just playing out as a series of gifs to be ironically contrasted with future Solo movie scenes #sithmas
Obviously we are all looking forward to Lando: A Star Wars Story #sithmas
I don’t know why it only now occurred to me that my dog Scout bore a strong resemblance to Chewbacca (and sometimes whined like him). I always wanted to get him one of those little Chewie bandolier vests. #sithmas
The rest of the movie is foggy enough to me that I can’t say for sure, but Yoda and Obi-Wan urging Luke to sacrifice Han and Leia and “remain passive” is reminding me of a TLJ deleted scene, and it’s not plot-important so I’ll describe it: #sithmas
(TLJ) Luke tells Rey that a raiding party is coming to pillage the fish nuns, as they regularly do, and that she must not interfere. Rey is 1000% not standing for that and bolts off to discover them... having a neighborly dance party, while Luke laughs his ass off. #sithmas
(TLJ) But iirc, he actually wanted her to do that, teach her that the Jedi Order passivity ethos was bullshit. I’m thinking that that’s grounded a bit in this decision here. Because I don’t think that leaving your friends to die speaks much to “goodness” or “light.” #sithmas
“That boy is our last hope.” “No. There is another.” So Yoda means... Leia? Or is he saying there’s hope that Vader will turn back? He better mean Leia, who is still/also a Skywalker tyvm and don’t forget it #sithmas
Man, they were just really seat-of-their-pantsing it here, weren’t they #sithmas
Back to the TLJ deleted scene, here it is (I saw it on the Amazon digital version already out, which includes extras). I link this because “fish nun dance party” is one of those “sounds like I hallucinated it while on hydrocodone” things #sithmas…
I just looked over for no reason and saw this #sithmas
Day 52: I’m getting slaphappy. I love that Leia’s Bespin dress still manages to involve trousers. Damn right. #sithmas
Between Lobot and the ugnaughts, there is some weird shit going on in Cloud City and I’m not sure what to make of it. #sithmas
“I’ve just made a deal that will keep the Empire out of here forever” *facepalm* #sithmas
In fairness to bounty hunter fandom, there have been more Boba Fetch appearances than I expected #sithmas
Okay, did they dub in Temuera Morrison’s voice for Boba Fett? This set seems to have been produced in 2013; a search seems to indicate they did (and that fans weren’t happy). #sithmas
I’m confused about what—okay I just deleted the entire rest of this tweet because I realized I was turning into my mom and asking questions the movie was going to answer in two minutes. #sithmas
The question was “what did Lando think the deal was and what does Vader actually want, if not Leia.” “He’s setting a trap for Skywalker” is the answer. #sithmas
Harrison Ford’s explanation of “I know” (and believe me, it took some virtuoso googling to dig this up):… #sithmas
Chewie wailing through the whole carbon freezing is great, but the single best touch is that Han isn’t frozen as a generic doll-like statue—he’s caught in agony. #sithmas
I am the kind of person who can’t remember half what happens in this movie, but I know that Bob Anderson did the sword work. #sithmas…
Like, there’s a reason the dueling got real as hell between ANH and ESB, and it’s that guy. #sithmas…
Okay, I had to look up what Boba Fett originally sounded like, because I don’t even remember. I... honestly don’t have a problem with redubbing him? Listen, I spent like 12 hours last week watching prequels in a pocket livetweet universe #sithmas
Here’s the new Temuera Morrison dub, for science #sithmas
People out here pronouncing “Han” with like three different vowels, I’m not even sure I could reproduce the last one I just heard #sithmas
Did Luke just straight up blast steam in Vader’s face to get away? I’m just—Vader’s got to be toying with him. Later movies getting so hectic with Vader give us, uh, greater expectations for his fighting style. Dark Side Anakin would be bouncing off walls by now. #sithmas
Did Vader just throw a TV and a sound system at Luke’s head #sithmas
Ah, there goes the guy evacuating the ice cream maker #sithmas
That was Palpatine nerfing him, wasn’t it? Fucking Sheev #sithmas
Ugh, household repair emergency, we’re gonna have to stop for a dinner break. And so close to the end! #sithmas
All right, thermostat repaired, dinner eaten. Update: have now finished collecting that asshole Veers, 100/100. My gaming status: news you can truly use. #sithmas
Welp, there goes his hand, right in the middle of me thinking “this really is a beautiful transfer” #sithmas
It’s fascinating how the Dark Side antagonists keep insisting they must end conflict (but the Light Side protagonists will insist, “There is still conflict in you”) and “bring order” to the galaxy. The trick is always whose “order” it is. #sithmas
I’m not as familiar with Buddhist principles as I probably need to be for this, but it’s like the Force idea of peace/balance does not forbid or deny conflict, but simply ask for acceptance of it. It does not impose. #sithmas
(TLJ) But Luke’s follow-up lesson to Rey is, that doesn’t mean sit on your ass and let just anything happen. It means to be present in the world with your values, but accept that you cannot control it. #sithmas
It’s a slippery idea, and I can see how it might go astray. Which is basically the story of, uh, like eight or nine movies now #sithmas
Welp, there it is, The Scene. I would love to feel what it was really like to be there in the theater and have no idea what Vader was going to say. My mom tells me that people FREAKED OUT. #sithmas
Awww, Luke force-called Leia. I don’t remember/know yet if Leia shows any Force sensitivity in the next movie, but I like that they bring that out more in the new movies. #sithmas
“Ben! Why didn’t you tell me!” Well, we didn’t want you to think Vader was cool before we had a chance to tell you why he’s not! (Luke, did you forget to tell little Ben why Vader’s not cool?) #sithmas
“Chewie, may the Force be with you.” “GAHHHH” #sithmas
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