Thread by @ireland

Happy Birthday David Attenborough

a celebratory (and very long) thread.

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1. When Sir David Frederick Attenborough (OM CH CVO CBE FRS FLS FZS FSA FRSGS) was born on the 8th of May 1926, he was not yet a Sir, nor did he have as many letters after his name as he does now.

He was simply called, David Frederick Attenborough, or David for short.

2. David Attenborough was born in Middlesex, England, but grew up in Leicester, which is also in England.

3. David was the middle child of three boys, and the shortest when sitting down.

His elder brother, Richard, grew up to be a famous dinosaur man, while his younger brother, John, grew up be a successful executive of Alfa Romeo.

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4. David Attenborough is very fast, though not always as fast as a Giant Anteater.

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5. A Peruvian frog was first described in 2017 and given the name Pristimantis attenboroughi, or Attenborough's Rubber Frog, as he's known to his mates.

Scientists felt this was a suitable name because like David Attenborough, Attenborough's Rubber Frog is amphibious.

6. David Attenborough comes in black+white, colour, 3D and interactive versions.

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7. in 1966, and as controller of BBC2, David Attenborough introduced televised snooker to the world.

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8. After a long day observing animals, David Attenborough likes leaning on things.

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9. Here is David Attenborough with Orangutans.

Other people who have seen Orangutans include primatologists, 28-35, who've recently returned from 2 years in Borneo.

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10. David Attenborough makes an excellent perch to keep an eye out for predators.

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11. David Attenborough has excellent telephone manner.

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12. One way you can tell that the Bear in this photo is not alive is because it looks angry.

If this Bear was alive and saw David Attenborough, it would be very, very happy.

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13. Like this Bear.

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14. David Attenborough really likes eggs.
They don't even have to be as big as this one.

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15. But it helps.

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16. David Attenborough values safety in the workplace.

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17. David Attenborough likes flowers, but he is not sure about this flower sculpture.

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18. I used to pronounce glacier like glacier, but now I pronounce it like glacier, because David Attenborough does too.

However, I still say sloth, and not sloth. Sorry David.

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19. On David Attenborough's Life Stories, David Attenborough said that of all the cryptozoology candidates, the one he though most likely to maybe, possibly be real was the Yeti.

I dont know if David Attenborough really believes in Yetis or not, but now because of him, I do.

20. David Attenborough has a respect for gravity, but only when gravity deserves it.

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21. There was a Zoo Quest board game.

I bet David Attenborough is really, really good at it.

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22. David Attenborough is great at jumping stoat impressions.

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23. When David Attenborough first joined the BBC he was told his teeth were too big for television.

They were proven wrong, however, as his teeth were actually just the right size for television.

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24. All animals love David Attenborough, even the notoriously shy Armadillo, who is pictured here being only too delighted to be with David.

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25. In fact, the Armadillo Community has a long and illustrious history with David Attenborough, and I am sure they were among the first this morning to wish him a very happy birthday

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26. David Attenborough is a primate.

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27. In more recent series, David Attenborough has always sported his characteristic blue shirt.

However, in the past, he was more of a shirt optional kind of guy.

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28. David Attenborough used to like standing beside pictures of rare birds.

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29. Now he prefers to hold photos of them instead.

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30. When this Polar Bear woke up he was really angry to have missed the opportunity to meet David Attenborough.

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31. David Attenborough loves baby rhinos.
This is partly because all baby rhinos are very lovable.
But also largely because he respects and loves all animals and their roles within their own eco-systems.

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32. David Attenborough would like it if we stopped poaching rhinos.

I think we should listen to him.

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33. David Attenborough is larger than a baby Albatross.

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34. But he is smaller than Tyrannosaurus rex.

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35. David Attenborough once told the British Queen that her dress was the wrong colour for a broadcast.
She was like, are you for real?
He was like, I am.

She changed her dress and they both laughed about it later.

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36. If David Attenborough was aware of this thread, I think he'd probably want to promote the fact that I am currently looking for a job + would be an absolutely fantastic fit in @DublinZoo's social media and education team.

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37. David Attenborough is very good at pretending to be a statue.

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38. He is also very good at looking like he's doing stuff in photos, even if he actually isn't.

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39. I've never seen a picture of David Attenborough with sunburn, and he still has lovely skin today.

Let this be a reminder to us all to put on a high factor sun cream every day, even if it looks cloudy outside.

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40. David Attenborough has dozens of degrees.

And rightly so.

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41. David Attenborough has some brilliant friends.

Because he is brilliant too.

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42. David Attenborough once tried to infiltrate a Penguin colony and live among them.

However, his plan ultimately failed as the Penguins all recognised him as David Attenborough.

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43. Here is David Attenborough holding a newborn baby human.

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44. Attenborough's Pitcher Plant is named after David Attenborough, and not the other way round.

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45. There is a lion on David Attenborough's car.

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46. David Attenborough is very concerned about the future of our planet.

I am too. But I am also very concerned that I committed to a 92-tweet long tread to celebrate his birthday.

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47. David Attenborough was one of the last foreign dignitaries to be hosted by Lonesome George, the extremely grumpy Pinta Island tortoise.

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48. David Attenborough thinks some fossils are very large, but David Attenborough never thinks a fossil is too large.

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49. You don't have to be exotic or rare for David Attenborough to think you're absolutely brilliant.

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50. David Attenborough loves nature, but he also has a healthy cautious respect for it too.

It is best to start off any friendship with an Anaconda as a long-distance one.

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51. David Attenborough has excellent eyesight, and can read books from very far away.

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52. David Attenborough personally wished *good luck* to this newly hatched leatherback turtle.

I really hope that little guy is doing brilliantly and is still alive.

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53. David Attenborough has met lots of Gorillas, so he knows that this is actually just a bronze statue of a Gorilla, and not actually a real Gorilla.

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54. In fact, here is a photo of David Attenborough meeting real Gorillas.

Real Gorillas think David Attenborough is just great.

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55. David Attenborough was even given an award by Gorillas for being so great.

Well done, David Attenborough!

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56. David Attenborough may have been on many adventures, but sometimes he likes to just have a nice sit down and stare out the window.

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57. David Attenborough can go underwater.

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58. David Attenborough can also fly.

With Dinosaurs.

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59. David Attenborough enjoys visual metaphors.

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60. If you are looking for David Attenborough but cannot find him, have a look on the forest floor.

He might be there.

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61. Or look up.

Sometimes you can find David Attenborough in a tree.

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62. David Attenborough can survive in many extreme environments.

Including the Antarctic . . .

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63. . . . arid deserts . . . .

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64. . . . . or in mountainous habitats.

Perhaps here he is looking for a Yeti.
I doubt it.
He is in France.

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65. David Attenborough retired from BBC administration in 1972 and went on to what many might call "a very active retirement".

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66. This is not David Attenborough.

You can tell, because it doesn't look like him.

It is in fact a wax-work of David Attenborough.

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67. This Golden Eagle is trying to play it cool, but really she is extremely excited to see David Attenborough.

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68. David Attenborough found a crab.

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69. David Attenborough is extremely nurturing & supportive, which makes me think he would probably be very proud that I've reached this far in the thread (69/92) & tell me not to worry if primatologist, 28-35, recently relocated back to Dublin from Borneo, doesn't get in contact.

70. David Attenborough is objectively very funny and tells excellent jokes.

I wonder would he like this joke of mine:

Which cetaceans just seem to always turn out bad?
Nar'do'whals.

I hope he would.

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72. David Attenborough is a unifying force.

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72, again. I missed out on #71, but I'm sure David Attenborough would tell me not to worry and to learn from my mistakes.

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73. David Attenborough is inside a balloon.

Actually, this is not the part of the balloon you are meant to stand in, but I think it's ok, because he is David Attenborough.

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74. David Attenborough is very probably magic.

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75. WHERE IS DAVID ATTENBOROUGH??!

Oh. There he is. Hiding behind those blades of grass.

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76. Here is David Attenborough with a Capybara.

Everyone knows that Capybaras are exraordinarily friendly.
Even still, I'm sure this Cabybara is extra happy to have made a friend in David Attenborough.

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77. Be careful of that shark, David!

Oh, no wait. It's just a plastic shark.

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78. David Attenborough likes very little things.

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79. And David Attenborough likes very large things.

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80. And David Attenborough likes everything else in between!

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81. I once heard David Attenborough say that he didn't like to prepare monologues or speeches in advance.

I don't like to prepare threads in advance, so in that way the two of us are quite similar.

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82. Without David Attenborough, few of us would know the beauty of a Millipede.

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83. And we would probably be using a lot more plastic, had you not told us we ought to try and reduce our waste.

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84. There would definitely be a lot less footage of birds of paradise if it were not for David Attenborough.

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85. So, thank you, David Attenborough.

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86. Thank you for showing us the world.

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87. Thank you for sharing your adventures with us.

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88. Thank you for teaching generations . . .

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89. . . . . upon generations of us about the natural world.

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90. Long may it continue.

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91. If it were in my power to confer honourary Irish citizenship onto you, it would be so.

Unfortunately, all I can offer is official honourary @ireland citizenship.
Some might say that that is actually even better.

You can now put that among your achievements.
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92. HAPPY 92nd BIRTHDAY DAVID ATTENBOROUGH!!!

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Fin.

ps - if you see him, @BBCEarth, let him know I passed on my birthday greetings.