June 14th, 2018
Dawn of OIG Day
General HNIJohnMiller’s impromptu address to the troops
[The following transcription cuts out the small arms firefight resulting from the General mistakenly believing someone stole his bourbon. It was himself, he drank it.]
Dawn of OIG Day
General HNIJohnMiller’s impromptu address to the troops
[The following transcription cuts out the small arms firefight resulting from the General mistakenly believing someone stole his bourbon. It was himself, he drank it.]
1) Everyone, stand up. Stand the fuck up. Sitting? Who the hell sits, this isn’t fucking church. 
2) Everything you hear about Americans not wanting to fight, wanting to avoid a fight, is a lot of bullshit. Americans love to fight. All real Americans love the sting and clash of battle.
3) Nowadays, who do we marvel? Who do we idolize? The winners. The toughest boxers, the best athletes, the best swimmers. Americans love a winner and will not tolerate a loser. Real Americans play to win all the goddamn time.
4) That is why in 2016 we won and they lost. The very notion of losing is alien to us. We signed on with a candidate who promised us winning, so much winning we would get tired of winning.
5) Winning is the most enjoyable activity Americans can indulge in. It drives us to be our best, to put aside our weak bullshit.
6) You are not all going to have your accounts suspended. Most of you will probably only be shadowbanned like I am. Everyone is scared of losing their account. If someone says they’re not, they’re a goddamn liar.
7) But the real heroes are the ones who get up and fights even though they’re scared. They have to get over their fear of reporting mobs, of account limiting and of shadowbans, of being in hostile liberal territory like Twitter.
8) But a real American does not let fear overwhelm their common sense, their pride, their innate drive to win.
9) All throughout your Twitter careers you have bitched about having been blocked by some of the top minds. That is all for a purpose.
10) It is to instill a drive to refine your ideas and arguments, and to create the drive to make yourself bigger, meaner, and more vicious than you were before.
11) This must be bred into every shitposter. I do not give a fuck for those who cannot evolve their ideas past the larval form that they began in. But out internal conflicts have made you all stronger for it. Steeled all of you. Made you battle hardened.
12) But you are ready! You have to be the most vicious son of a bitch out there if you don’t want some liberal sneaking up behind you and smearing you with a sack of their own shit.
13) There are millions of liberals still screaming out in anguish at having lost in 2016. They lost because they let their viciousness slide, because they got lazy.
14) The Conservative Twitter Intelligentsia is a team. It threads, argues, hashtags campaigns, and fights as a team. The individual blue checkmarks are bullshit.
15) Blue checkmarks are for bilious CNN reporters who don’t know any more about fighting than they do about fucking. And believe me, I have 3 anonymous sources familiar with their bedroom activities that say CNN talking heads know nothing about fucking.
16) We, on the other hand, have the best team. We have the finest ideas and the finest logic and the best fucking fighters in the world. By God, I actually pity those poor bastards we’re going up against. Wait, scratch that, no I don’t. Socialist fucktards.
17) One of the bravest shitposters I saw was in a running thread battle against a swarm of Seth Abramson followers. There he was, squaring off against a dozen of them.
18) I stopped to DM him. “Aren’t you a little outnumbered,” I asked.
“Yes, but someone has to give these assholes a bloody nose.”
“Aren’t you worried that they’ll bring more of their friends in?”
“No, how the fuck do you think it got to a dozen against me in the first place?”
“Yes, but someone has to give these assholes a bloody nose.”
“Aren’t you worried that they’ll bring more of their friends in?”
“No, how the fuck do you think it got to a dozen against me in the first place?”
“Doesn’t it bother you that you’re fighting alone?”
“No, but you do. Now stfu, I’ve just reloaded on memes and I’m about to carpet bomb these assholes.”
Now there was a real fighter. Someone who straight up DGAF about the odds and just kept fighting because that’s what he knew.
“No, but you do. Now stfu, I’ve just reloaded on memes and I’m about to carpet bomb these assholes.”
Now there was a real fighter. Someone who straight up DGAF about the odds and just kept fighting because that’s what he knew.
20) And you should see the bastards making suicide runs on big liberal blue checkmark accounts. Accounts being banned left and right, getting mobbed by Dembies, but they keep knuckling down and going after those blue checks, around the clock.
21) We won in 2016 on sheer stubbon fucking pride, and we will keep winning on that same spirit. This is how real Americans fight. Dogged determination. We get in there, we get stuck in, and we make the enemy bastards run because we will not.
22) I don’t want any messages or replies saying you’re holding strong. Fuck holding. Attack. If I’ve taught you anything, its to attack. Go to whatever hashtags they’re using to distract from the OIG report and hijack them. Attack.
23) Liberals deprive us of escape. They want no neutral ground. That’s fine. They will have no safe spaces on Twitter today. No safe conversations. No safe hashtags. Go. Attack them. Attack them everywhere that they’re hiding.
24) Our plan of operation is to attack and to keep on attacking. That’s it. We have fought for years now, and this is the strategy we have developed to win. We will attack everywhere at once, we will keep on attacking, we will get right to their throats, and we will punch them.
25) Don’t forget, you don’t know I’m here. You haven’t seen any of this thread. I’m shadowbanned. I’m supposed to have left Twitter in a huff to nurse my pride, my shattered ego.
26) The world is not supposed to know that HNIJohnMiller and the Conservative Twitter Intelligentsia are here gearing up for the fight of a goddamn lifetime.
27) Let the first bastards to find out be the goddamn liberals and socialists. I want them waking up in their bedbug infested hovels and screaming “Ach! Its HNIJohnMiller and his goddamn Bourbon Lantern Corps!”
28) There’s going to be a day, years from now, when the anniversary of the biggest scandal in American history was revealed, and you will be asked what you were doing on that day.
29) You will all get to say you were here. You were fighting. You were being real Americans fighting against the socialist horde with HNIJohnMiller and the Bourbon Lantern Corps as part of the Conservative Twitter Intelligentsia.
30) You get to say that you knuckled down, you fought, and you WON. Because that’s what’s going to happen today. You’re going to attack and you are going to keep attacking until you win, because you are goddamn Americans and that is what goddamn Americans do. Win.
/end
