Thread by @PaulMDomenick

The Trichotomy of Control
~ a Guide for Life ~

-What's in YOUR Control
-What's outside YOUR Control
-What's partially in YOUR Control

( THREAD )

One of the main exercises in Stoicism is to always reflect on what lies within YOUR control & what doesn't!

The point of this exercise is to calm you, in the sense that all of the pointless drama you complain about isn't worth complaining about!

In the city where i grew up ( Philly ), if you had a car, most of your time driving was spent doing one of two things:

(a) looking for parking because there was never a spot outside of your house
(b) Sitting in traffic because the City was so damn congested 😅

Frustration x10

Constantly sitting in traffic, I would curse, swear, punch the wheel, honk the horn, etc. You know how it is!

After discovering the works of the Stoics, I found out to my surprise that there was another possible path to take in dealing with these events ( NOT issues )

So let's get into the material!

Here are the big three forms of control:

(1) In MY Control
(2) NOT in my Control
(3) Partially in my Control

To start off, ALL external events outside of you are NOT within your control

(1) In MY control

---Your thoughts
---Your actions

These are the two things that are truly IN YOUR control.

You can choose your thoughts and how to think about them.

You choose what actions to take & NOT to take

Any action YOU take is completely within your control.

No one can completely force you to do anything that you choose not to do.

No one can force a thought into YOUR mind without you granting it entry

This is all you have IN YOUR control : Your thoughts & actions

Next:

(2) NOT in my control

This is everything you can't change

(A) Other Humans thoughts & actions
(B) Traffic
(C) Weather
(D) Zombie outbreak
(E) Wind screwing up your air on the way to the Club lol

The examples listed above are ALL out of your control

There is nothing you can do about bad traffic or terrible weather

So what's the point of getting mad over rain or the bumper to bumper traffic?

You can't do anything about it! Stop complaining!

Oh, you're going to leave early to beat the traffic? That's not a bad idea

Your action of leaving early to beat the traffic is in YOUR control, yes, but, the other drivers who decide to do the same thing lie OUTSIDE of your control, therefore, the traffic still may happen!

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Finally,

(3) Partially in YOUR control

This occurs when you have SOME, but not COMPLETE control over something!

Let's say you're a fighter

You have COMPLETE control over your thoughts, actions & abilites.

You control your training and diet

Time to fight...what next?

You have control over your body movements, when to strike and when to slip

Which could influence the fight in your favor

BUT, you don't have control over the other fighters movements & abilities

This lies outside of you

What should you aim for ?

In this situation, aim to fight to the best of YOUR ability, thus exercising your sphere of control, while being outcome ( outside your control ) independent

Don't aim to WIN the match, aim to fight YOUR best possible fight

Don't aim to make a girl like you, because how she thinks & acts lies OUTSIDE of your control

What you should do is aim to be the best possible version of yourself, because this lies WITHIN your control, which may influence her to like you even more

See the difference?

In any situation, try to remember what lies within your sphere of control

remember what lies outside of your control

Act & think accordlingly 😃

I hope you found value in this thread!

Please like, comment & RT with your thoughts ( In your control )