hey, if you're a trans woman and you feel oppressed by AFAB trans people, or you think they're inherently toxic, I have a question:
what the fuck is wrong with you
what the fuck is wrong with you
like, honestly, tell me how you reached that conclusion, because I'm trying to wrap my head around it
I have a few theories about where this attitude comes from but none of them are very flattering to the people who hold it
I have a few theories about where this attitude comes from but none of them are very flattering to the people who hold it
like is it because of male privilege? you realize they don't get that automatically, right? and privilege is mostly dangerous when you're not conscious of it, and I PROMISE that trans guys are aware of how they're treated differently after transition
this at least makes some sense, and it's a complicated issue, but imo we should just work on making spaces more inclusive. there's no point in hating on marginalized people for staying in a community that accepts them
basically, as trans people, we should all realize that assigned gender is out of our control, and not something to judge someone for
and as much as I may envy AFAB people, I recognize that it's not a source of privilege
for any of them, but especially if they're trans too
and as much as I may envy AFAB people, I recognize that it's not a source of privilege
for any of them, but especially if they're trans too
and yeah, I have a pretty uncomfortable relationship with masculinity, since it was forced on me against my will
but it's not inherently toxic, and to a transmasc person it's a source of gender euphoria. how can I blame any trans person for embracing that?
but it's not inherently toxic, and to a transmasc person it's a source of gender euphoria. how can I blame any trans person for embracing that?
and can they sometimes lean too far into it, embracing the toxicity as well? sure.
just like transfemmes can revel in our own femininity to the point of letting ourselves be exploited
gender is dangerous stuff. handle with care
just like transfemmes can revel in our own femininity to the point of letting ourselves be exploited
gender is dangerous stuff. handle with care
one of the best things about being trans is that we have the opportunity to perform gender intentionally. we're forced to examine exactly what our genders mean to us, which lets us discard the harmful parts and retain only what we find personally validating
(I think it'd be pretty great if cis people did the same thing, but for us it's a more immediate concern)
and I don't doubt that some of the transfemmes who I'm lecturing here have, in fact, been treated like shit by transmascs in the past
but if you generalize that sort of thing to an entire group, you're being prejudiced. that's not a good look
but if you generalize that sort of thing to an entire group, you're being prejudiced. that's not a good look
am I getting dangerously close to saying "not all men" here? it might look like it, if you have no grasp of intersectionality
I still have no qualms about saying "men are trash" with no qualifiers, but really I'm talking about cis men
I still have no qualms about saying "men are trash" with no qualifiers, but really I'm talking about cis men
or more accurately, men who display toxic masculinity and don't examine their male privilege, which COULD include trans men, but I expect most trans men to be better than that. because they've experienced misogyny firsthand
I've also run into this idea that nonbinary AFAB people aren't really trans, they're just trying to escape the oppression of womanhood
let's make one thing clear: if someone tells you they're trans and you don't believe them, you're transphobic
let's make one thing clear: if someone tells you they're trans and you don't believe them, you're transphobic
I'm not even saying that doesn't happen. I literally have a cis friend who identified as NB for a while, and later realized she just wasn't comfortable with imposed gender roles
and it still would have been super shitty of me to deny her NB identity before she told me this
and it still would have been super shitty of me to deny her NB identity before she told me this
meanwhile *I* had a genderqueer phase before I realized I was a binary woman after all. doesn't mean NB identities aren't valid. some people go the other way, thinking they're binary trans and then settling on NB later. gender's complicated, it can take some time to figure out
I guess the moral of this thread is, believe trans people about their identities, but don't judge them for it. none of us chose this life. let's stop being shitty to each other so we can focus on dismantling cisheteronormativity and the patriarchy in general, k?
