This is the truest thread and it will make so many of you feel better. I’m many books in at this point, and yep, it’s so real. Whee! Keep going, next book, new book, don’t panic, this is a long, long game.
Ps: in addition to that comment about the Long Game - I’ve hit the NYT list three times, never longer than a couple weeks. It doesn’t actually much change your life financially, and it doesn’t have to happen to make you successful. It’s cool, but it’s not The Only Cool Thing.
Like @DelilahSDawson, I’ve also had a couple books that totally DOAed. After years of work. That was a bummer, but it didn’t end my career, and it was just a bummer. (Go buy Queen of Kings! For example! It’s totally good! It was my first novel!)
Sometimes a book goes wide and huge because it’s just easy to imagine what’s in it. My first book was like that, and then I found out that I didn’t want to write books that were super easy to imagine. Or rather...that was not my dream writer life. So I went weirder.
The weirder meant I wrote some books that publishers looked at and went Wha? Some publishers took a risk and kicked ass, and others found themselves looking at my weirdo book and going UM.
It’s just about gritting your teeth and realizing you’re not in charge of everything. You cannot control that element of a publisher that backs your book, nor the element of the zeitgeist that makes people say YES THAT ONE.
I am a huge control freak. I found that shit hard. I wanted to run whole companies and tell everyone what to do, but in truth, even if I had, some of my books wouldn’t have hit the wave perfectly. It’s an alchemy. Not always Gold.
And in truth, it matters, yeah, but it’s the next book, not the one you’re panicking about. Write a good book. Do your best. Not all your books will be huge rockstar books. Maybe one day - I’m 12 years out from my first book! - things align & you get all the joy.
Even as The Mere Wife is getting lots of awesome and lots of love, and I’m so excited and grateful, I’m also grateful for the years when books didn’t work, and I learned to be a writer anyway.
I mean, I like to pay my bills & not feel bonkers, but I also love the years I got to write in stealth mode, getting better, stranger & stronger. They resulted in this book. So, bright side! Everything doesn’t work. Sometimes you get remaindered. But you still have a brain.
And your brain, folks, can invent worlds. You can always start a new story. You can always change. It’s so fucking glorious to start the next book. And the next. And the next.
Seriously, sit down and start the book that is the hardest, weirdest, most yourself. Why not? Life is unpredictable. Write the book that fills your soul up. That love shows. It can change your whole career. I’ve gotten to do that several times! It works.
Ways not to spend your time? Panicking. If you’ve just published a first book, it’s tempting to live online watching your amazon rank - but yeah, it’s not actually a thing. Use those hours to write another book, and use them to read really badass writers. Get bigger.
Make a list of crazy ideas and then think seriously of how to write them. What’s your favorite book ever? In your whole life? What kind of book is it? Maybe try that out. Is it a middle grade book? Is it a book that made you feel like you could do anything? Test that form.
The things you loved as a reader - especially as a young reader - may be the key to becoming the writer you want to be as an adult. Giant commercial success is nice, yes, but what really helps is knowing what kind of writer you are, and being able to produce books you love.
I spent my baby years looking for a book about Grendel’s mother. It didn’t exist. I didn’t know how to write it then, but fast forward to 2015. I wrote The Mere Wife to make my 8 year old self happy. Mind you, she was climbing the adult shelves.
And pretty much all my books have been written to save versions of myself that didn’t know what they were missing. To get them free of bias and misery, to teach them that a wide world exists. I joke that my YA books are for baby revolutionaries. Not a joke, though.
Once I learned that my work had to be political in order to feel like Good Work, I’ve been on that since. That’s me. YMMV. But, for me, my books started rocking when I knew that I wanted to change the world as hard as I could. And there have been readers hungry for that.
It used to be that I thought Commercial = Nice. Now I think there is a market for many many things, & for me, a successful book is one that changes lives. It’s scary to have that be your goal, but also, it’s so fulfilling.nThere are lots of writing disappointments. Build in joy.
Now, if you haven’t, read @DelilahSDawson’s thread. It’s brilliant & spurred this one. And take a big breath. And know that even a book that sells 100 copies alters at least 100 lives. Yeah, more copies are goal, but still. You’re doing this. Keep doing.
