Words cannot express my admiration for my husband. He took the news of his cancer diagnosis like a man. He's referring to an invasive & painful bone cancer that is crushing his vertebrae as a "gift from God"
He earned the callouses on his knees from years of kneeling in prayer but this horrible cancer which may very well claim his life he calls a "gift"
We talked today about St Bernadette who had bone invasive tuberculosis which caused immeasurable suffering, probably similar to what he's experiencing so now he's in good company
His vertebrae is badly unstable the radiologist said there is high risk of paralysis, this is why he was admitted and worked up so aggressively on a weekend
He's been fitted with a brace that looks similar to a storm trooper chest plate "I feel like RoboCop" I'll knock on it and he'll say "hello? No one's home" and I giggle like a little girl.
In reality we know the brace is worn to try to prevent further collapse of his bone which is being invaded and destroyed by cancer and destroying his marrow 😢
He is facing pain, disability, cancer and death. I am not yet actually facing becoming a widow. It's just too much right now. Instead I get coffee, order his meals, crawl in beside him and feel his warmth
I don't think in all these yrs we've ever spent hrs and hrs just lying together, talking, snuggling. There have been many silver linings to offset all the bad news.
Sad, surprised, fearful but not for a moment have either of us felt despair or loss of hope. His grace suffices.
