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lawprofblawg @lawprofblawg
, 16 tweets, 2 min read Read on Twitter
Okay, Twitter, I have a theory about a criminal matter, hear me out (thread)
According to Wikipedia, "Jack the Ripper is the best-known name for an unidentified serial killer generally believed to have been active in the largely impoverished areas in and around the Whitechapel district of London in 1888."
While I wasn't alive in the 1800s, and I've never been to London, there are some coincidences here that suggest that I am Jack the Ripper.
This is a picture of Jack.
This is a picture of me.
Granted, one is smoking, but it is possible through stages of reincarnation I was able to kick the habit.
Note how the top hat sits on the head in both pictures. It's as if we both put our hats on the same way.
I think the eyes are pretty well the same too. Look how they both look forward.
I've done some searching on google maps, and on reincarnation, and it is conceivable that I could have been in London, died, and be reincarnated in the United States or Canada.
The U.S. was of course, in its infancy an English colony.
Speculation on Jack the Ripper suggests he was of aristocracy. But by killing, it makes sense I would be reincarnated into a poorer socioeconomic status.
Moreover, during faculty meetings, I sometimes have the urge to kill.
I demand that authorities take me into custody, and that @EdWhelanEPPC defend me. I'm sure you'll all support me in this time of hardship. Thank you.
I just want to apologize to myself. I made an appalling and inexcusable mistake of judgment in posting the tweet thread in a way that identified myself as Jack the Ripper. I take full responsibility for that mistake, and I deeply apologize for it.
I realize that does not undo the mistake that I accidentally made in my meticulously designed thread. However, I'm hoping that Fox News and other outlets do not run with this story and instead focus on something else. Thank you.
I want to thank the 65 people I didn't kill for your letter of support. It means a great deal to me. I just want to point out that none of you are my faculty colleagues, so you've never seen me in a murderous rage.
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