Thread by @Osi_Suave

Been dating on and off for a while and i wanted to share some of my insights as to why alot of relationships dont work. #Thread

We meet amazing people and we generally like them within days. We go on fancy dates. Talk nonstop for hours and maybe steal kiss or two.

We start to have feelings and the dates start to be frequent, we hang out with other members of our social circle and invariably its almost like we are now in a relationship.

You guys have sex. Its so amazing so your mind tricks you to think you guys are set for a relationship.

The woman often time believes that she cant be emotionally investing in something without a tag

You guys start to date.

Its amazing

You guys laugh
Cry
Share ideas
Slate your exes

And wonder where he or she had been all your life. At this point no one is keeping up appearances anymore. You are getting relaxed then boom the first major fight happens.

You dont know how to deal with it. Your default reaction is to wait it out. You blame the other person, your ego tells you he or she should be the first to apologise.

Most relationships dont make it past this first fight.

Some do

And it marks the begining of many more

You guys barely communicate. She thinks ure cheating

The only physical connection you have is when yall have sex.

You fight
You make up
You fight
You make up

Then it becomes a cycle

And the word toxic gets thrown around

You cant communicate without it having sub meanings.

He is pissing u off
She is pissing u off

You take a break

You start showing how u are living ur best lives without them

But u miss him or her.

Someone reaches out

Yall fuck

And the fights starts again

In the midst of the craziness you see how her friends take her side

How his friends say he is the best thing ever

But yall dont see it.

You can barely stand each other. But you cant leave cos of the time it seems you both have invested in the relationship.

You wonder why they are the perfect friend but the worst partner.

You now slowly start to resent them.

You have started speaking to other people while still dating

They are the perfect bf and gf on paper

But living and dating them is hell.

Someone finally initiates the breakup..

And we see the subs on social media. They eventually move on and start that cycle again with someone

The mistake yall make

Me inclusive

Is not building a friendship before the relationship

Id say be friends with that person for at least one year.

If not yall will struggle..

Some relationships survive that struggle phase

Some dont

So stop thinking u have a spiritual problem its u not doing things properly

Friendship sometime are stronger than family or even the bonds siblings have.

Because overtime u have taken ur time to know everything abt ur friend and even when yall fight

You find a way to sort it out

So you wonder why her friends take her side when yall fight

Or how his friends dont understand why ure always fighting with their friend

Its cos you havent tapped into that side of them their friends know and understand.

Ask any couple what the secret to a happy marriage is

They will say

Marry your best friend.

All the money in the world would never take the place of friendship in any relationship

Im no expert myself
My exes would probably say i am a douchebag

But looking back i have realised that we didnt work cos we were 2 strangers in a relationship

Give yourselves time to grow your friendship

It might be what holds yall together when everything else fails.