1/ There's a side to the story of woman who are sexually assaulted that not a lot of folks are aware of. What happens to those that DO report it, and need to find a safe place to recover? For many of these women, emergency shelters ares the only immediate option.
2/ Not a lot of folks know what that experience is like, and so I'm going to share a bit of that with you. I realize, of course, I'm a man. And some of you might—rightly—be asking, "what the hell would you know?"
I'll tell you about that, too. But not yet. That's not the story.
I'll tell you about that, too. But not yet. That's not the story.
3/ I'll talk about Harris County, Texas—the Houston metropolitan area. There are several emergency shelters in the Houston area for women who are immediate victims of domestic violence, which includes sexual assault. I use the term "victim" in the same fashion that RAINN does.
4/ A "victim" is someone who has been abused/assaulted recently, and the situation is pending resolution of some kind. A victim might call an emergency shelter, looking for a safe place for herself—and often, her children, too.
She calls one shelter, and explains what happened.
She calls one shelter, and explains what happened.
5/ They may have to answer questions like, "is your abuser armed?" or, "why do you feel your life is in danger?" These aren't bad questions to ask. They are part of a widely accepted methodology for determining the level of danger that is currently present.
6/ In some cases, they aren't asked these questions, but still find themselves having to explain, of course, why they need emergency shelter.
In Houston, as in most metro areas, emergency bed space is limited. Many women are turned away because there's simply no room for them.
In Houston, as in most metro areas, emergency bed space is limited. Many women are turned away because there's simply no room for them.
7/ That doesn't help them get to safety, of course. They're still in danger.
So let's sum up the situation so far. A woman has been sexually assaulted or abused—often by a domestic partner—which is traumatic. They're re-traumatized when they tell the story of what happened.
So let's sum up the situation so far. A woman has been sexually assaulted or abused—often by a domestic partner—which is traumatic. They're re-traumatized when they tell the story of what happened.
8/ If the shelter has no room, they have to call another one. And tell their story all over again. And suffer re-traumatization. They may have to call five or six shelters before finding one with available bed space, or that is far enough away from their abuser.
9/ Can you imagine that? Having to explain what many women describe as their most shameful experience—remember, many women feel responsible for being sexually assaulted—over and over again, just to find a place to sleep in relatively safely? To get their kids away from danger?
10/ How would I know about this? My co-founder and I have been working with the Harris County Domestic Violence Coordination Council (HCDVCC) on creating a system that will allow victims of domestic violence to call one hotline connected to all the shelters in the Houston area.
11/ Since it's just one number to call, they will not have to go through the trauma of telling their story over and over. I'm responsible for the technology side of things—an anonymous database of callers, electronic management of available bed space, and the telephony backend.
12/ We've had the honor of working with HCDVCC for over a year now, at first on systems to help long-term housing providers for survivors of sexual/domestic abuse, and now, for this emergency hotline that will unify many shelters and make it easier for women to find safety.
13/ Survivors will tell you that reporting sexual assault and domestic abuse is harder than anything. They feel ashamed, responsible, and many are terrified that reporting their experiences will cause their attacker to exact revenge upon them or their families.
14/ For many of them who need to get away from an abusive partner who has sexually assaulted them, these vulnerable women often have to bear their souls several times—to complete strangers—to get the help they need. Shelters have AMAZING social workers answering those calls.
15/ They provide a lifeline to women who are in danger, and they are HEROES, one and all. If you have an opportunity to donate to emergency shelters in your area, please consider doing so. Working with them has been a deeply rewarding experience, and a motivating one as well.
16/ This is a side of the experience for many victims of sexual assault and domestic abuse that most folks aren't aware of: just how difficult it can be to get the help they need one they do work up the courage to report what happened…to find a safe place to take their kids.
17/ It's one reason—one of many—that I've become an outspoken advocate for survivors' rights. This system really DOES work for women who have been assaulted and abused, but like anything, it can be better. Even us geeks can have a role in that.
18/ We can ALL do better. Use your voice, your skills, your money—whatever you can—to help make things better. Speaking up when something is wrong. Donating to relevant causes. Volunteering at emergency shelters or hotlines.
Believe women.
And support women.
Be good to you 💙
Believe women.
And support women.
Be good to you 💙
P.S. Please forgive my typos. It's late, and I'm still riled up about current events. 😞
