True confession: I really did graduate HS. 39th in a class of 53, with a 1.96 GPA. Spent 3 weekends detention for unexcused absences to get diploma, suspended 2x, went to jail 3 times. But never bullied anyone, & with girls I was a perfect gentleman.
Rap sheet: curfew violation at 15, minor in possession of beer at 16, drag racing at 16. Suspensions were for being high in school and for fighting (my opponent and I are still friends today).
The 3 arrests each cost me a couple hours at the cop shop and a royal ass-chewing from my dad. All took place at that wretched hive of automotive scum and villainy, the Sioux City Loop
the drag racing rap was total bullshit, I was just a passenger but was booked anyway. City was trying to shut down the car cruise strip & cops were ticketing everybody. My charges were dropped, and I testified at trial where the driver was cleared too.
After one arrest, we went to my grandparents' house.
Grandpa: heard your old man had to get you out of jail last night
Me: yeah
Grandpa: don't let him get you down, I had to bail him outta jail once too
Grandma: you should talk, I remember when you went to jail
Grandpa: heard your old man had to get you out of jail last night
Me: yeah
Grandpa: don't let him get you down, I had to bail him outta jail once too
Grandma: you should talk, I remember when you went to jail
Anyhoo, fast forward, I had to retrieve each of my kids from the cops when they were in high school. #BurgeCurse
Daughter was at underage beer party that got busted, son's story was actually kind of noble and he was actually lauded by the cops when we retrieved him.
short version: he went to a beach on Lake Michigan with friends, one of them had swiped a bottle from her parents' liquor cabinet & began chugging. Had to take her to hospital. Son blew a 0.00. Cops lauded him for calling 911 and helping save her.
In daughter's defense she had a 0.05 BAC, wasn't driving, and was freaking 18 years old, as was most everyone there. In my day that was perfectly 100% legal
In any case, here's my family theme song, which also fits for #NationalOneHitWonderDay
