Sexual satisfaction is one of the keys to a healthy, sustained, and fulfilled marriage. Too often we overlook the importance of sex in Muslim marriages. But it’s key. So let’s talk about how to add some spice, shall we? #TVAGoesKinky
Who been doing missionary for years and has no idea know what else to do? How can you even begin to introduce variety when missionary is all you’ve been taught? Or when you’ve been raised to think desire for pleasure = whore? #TVAGoesKinky
Raise your hand if you’re bored in the bedroom. Is sex a chore? Like doing the laundry? Scrubbing baseboards? Is sex an item on your to-do list that needs to be checked off? #TVAGoesKinky
What makes you want to hurry up and put the kids to bed so you can get some alone time with your man? Likely there’s nothing compelling or interesting happening in your bedroom because the act has been relegated to an obligation which needs to be fulfilled. #TVAGoesKinky
Sis: YOU HAVE RIGHTS, TOO. Sex does not have to be a chore and it shouldn’t become an act for which you feel resentment. You have just as much a right to sexual pleasure as your spouse. Our deen makes that clear. #TVAGoesKinky
But women need more sexual variety to reach maximum pleasure. What variety, you ask? Different positions, techniques, angles of stroke, varied foreplay. On average, takes a woman four times as long to reach orgasm as a man. Is he spending his time wisely? #TVAGoesKinky
Maybe your husband doesn’t make you feel like he is excited about this part of your relationship. Do you feel like he finds you sexy? Is it a burning desire or just fulfilling a need. Is he romancing the whole you or just the hole in you? #TVAGoesKinky
A great way to bring balance back to the bedroom and add some spark is the use of kink aka BDSM. It’s scary for some but it doesn’t have to be. Let me break it down...#TVAGoesKinky
BDSM refers to a wide range of sexual activities that rely on bondage, discipline/domination, sadism, and masochism as modes to receive/give pleasure. Ever heard the phrase “it hurts so good”? That’s kink, ladies. #TVAGoesKinky
Routine sex should not/does not have to be your routine sex life 24/7. Sex doesn’t have to be ‘vanilla’ all the time. #TVAGoesKinky
Sometimes sex is like whipped cream: soft, sweet, creamy, light. It fills a need but may not fill you up. Sometimes sex is hot caramel: hot, sticky, thick, Both are okay. Kink is a way to caramelize your love life. It’s fun, too. #TVAGoesKinky
How to start: Kink works best when used within the confines of a trusting, safe, transparent and consensual space. Don’t go tying your husband up w/o giving him a heads up. Talk about incorporating new methods BEFORE you hit the bedroom. #TVAGoesKinky
Establish a safe word. It’s what you will both use of the kinky play gets to be too overwhelming, painful, or uncomfortable. Decide on it together. Remember it. Don’t use it for any other purpose. #TVAGoesKinky
Entry Level Kink: Try handcuffs or silicone no-key restraints. They are low-key, inexpensive and can be used to tie/be tied to a bed post, sofa leg or even used in conjunction with a blindfold for sex play. Make sure cuffs aren’t cutting off circulation. #TVAGoesKinky
Entry Level Kink: Ticklers are fun to use in conjunction with cuffs. They do just that they say. Pro-tip: use one during sensual massage to ramp up the heat factor. Have him tickle the clitoral area lightly. Be ready to 💦 #TVAGoesKinky 
Entry Level Kink: Visit an adult novelty store together. It’s like a candy store for lovers. So many great products on the market. I visit frequently for research. Trust me, no one will look at you funny. And even if they do, so what? You’re there to explore. #TVAGoesKinky
Entry Level Kink: A riding crop can be your best friend. Some sisters love to be ‘spanked’ during sex. A riding crop will give you that sweet sting that you can’t get from a hand. Use on soft tissue areas like the buttocks. Perfect way to liven up doggystyle sex. #TVAGoesKinky
Another one that’s fun? Floggers. They are usually made of suede or soft cowhide. You can also find silicone. Can be used like a tickler or for spanking. A plus? There are some pretty ones on the market that you can match w/your fave crotchless panties #TVAGoesKinky
Intermediate Kink: Any of the previous tools can be used in more intense ways. Like handcuffs? Try a harness. Harnesses can be used to bind hands/arms, arms/legs/feet, and any other combination of limbs. Usage of a harness requires trust and confidence. #TVAGoesKinky
For plus-size women, harnesses can be purchased with extenders. Kink is equal opportunity fun. Don’t let your size intimidate you. Kink is for everyone. #TVAGoesKinky
Intermediate Kink: Nipple clamps. I know...I know I know I KNOW. But listen, they can be adjusted to suit your preferred intensity and provide gentle sustained pleasure. Some women achieve orgasm just through nipple play. Clamps can amp your ‘O’ with little effort. #TVAGoesKinky
Kink is a tool for women to exert more control in the bedroom. Everything listed here can be used on your spouse, not just on you. You can initiate kinky sex okay for a more intense intimate experience. What will you try? #TVAGoesKinky
Kink can foster intimacy and closeness by building trust between partners. After a BDSM session, my students come back to report that they felt closer and more connected w/their spouse after the experience. #TVAGoesKinky
For some men, sex can often = control and power. It may be the only area of their lives they feel they can dominate in order to compensate for lack of societal power. With the intro of kink into the sexual repertoire, it becomes more balanced for him and for her. #TVAGoesKinky
When done well and safely, kink may actually lead to willing sexual submission. A woman who is in a consensual kink session may yield & surrender to her man in a way that he may not expect. But it can’t be forced. Kink isn’t rigid. It flows. #TVAGoesKinky
Okay, Villagers, that’s enough for now. Is that it? Of course not. You know Auntie has a lot more to share. Kink is one of my favorite topics. This will get you started. Go home, practice, ghusl, repeat. #TVAGoesKinky
Sisters, as always, if you have questions, hit me in the DM. Insha Allah, I’ll post answers anonymously. Brothers...don’t even try it. This is not for you. #TVAGoesKinky
