OK. I've been back-channelling a bunch today, but there's enough DMs and enough emails and fuck it, I'd be a coward not to saying anything and while I ain't saying that I'm not a coward sometimes I don't want to be one today.
Stephen Elliott and I haven't been in touch in some time, partially because of things that I now realize were problematic or just plain fucked up, looking back at my days at the Rumpus, which I helped build (hence all the emails and DMs I've gotten about Steve).
Been thinking about him a lot recently after reading that essay he wrote, which did him zero or more like negative favors, as a self-serving piece of writing that put himself at the center and made him the victim. Link: quillette.com/2018/09/25/how…
It was a knee-jerk rebuttal of... everything, and just from the weird and simplistic stuff alone he says about how it's impossible for him to have raped anyone (as well as plenty else in the essay), it's clear...
that there's a lot of serious thinking and listening and reconsidering about rape culture and sexual harassment and power dynamics that he just hasn't done yet, and seems totally resistant to doing. (Also, just straight-up apologizing.)
The essay made it clear he'd completely given up any responsibility for everything, to the point where he's clearly blaming all his career troubles on the list, when maybe it's more because he's been doing... not great at juggling book and movie and TV ambitions.
On top of everything else, there's the venue where this essay was published—the Quillette is... Not Good. It is bad. It is the bad place.
And now there's this lawsuit. Not only is it utter bullshit, it's an outrageous act of violence against Moira first and foremost, as well as everyone who contributed to the list or found any measure of solidarity or hope or comfort or usefulness in it. It's fucking unforgivable.
So, at best he's delusional and sinking his own money into it and at worst (which is the way I tend to go these days) he's being funded by somebody looking to make this sort of shit happen. Just look at the lawyer he chose.
What also fucks me up? The Rumpus was one of the best places to read women writers on the internet in the late aughts and early teens (still is). Some INCREDIBLE women worked to build that. I was lucky enough to help.
Stephen took the credit, but we were okay with that because at the time we thought he was necessary—vital, even, somehow. Obviously he was not, and oftentimes actively damaging more than anything else.
The Rumpus these days is now woman-owned and run by women, and I hate that they have to deal with any blowback from this. Shout-out to them: @The_Rumpus.
I’ve got more to say, and I’ll save it for later, but for now I'll always be proud of what was built at the Rumpus, in spite of Steve. Fuck him and his evildoing lawsuit against Moira Donegan.
Apologies for any and all typos, and here's one last link: gofundme.com/hz8sxq
