Of the numerous blessings I am grateful for, the one that will rank near the top of the list is the fact that I had the opportunity to live & grow up in environments that afforded me the opportunity to mix closely with individuals from various ethnic & religious backgrounds.
Dad was in the army so a large part of our childhood was punctuated by constantly moving to various locations, starting school, making new friends, moving again, starting new schools & making new friends all over again.
Lagos was where we settled and lived the longest, moving there in 1989 and leaving after Dad passed away in 2005.
In addition to the influence of those environments in shaping our acceptance, thinking & perception of other tribes & religions, Dad had a very solid policy of "accept other people, their tribes & religions. Get to know them. It's part of life & learning." And that we did.
During the duration of our Primary and Secondary school education we made friends that cut across all backgrounds, ethnic groups & religions. Mum & Dad did the same at work as well. Some have become so close that they are practically family.
My first extended contact with my Northern origins was in 2001 when I commenced my university education at Bayero University Kano. While I did not go through any instances of culture shock, the experience afforded me a lot of opportunities to compare, contrast & learn.
There are numerous advantages to living in an environment where you mix with numerous ethnic groups & religions. The greatest advantage in my opinion is that it affords one the ability & opportunity to view one's ethnic group from the outside, in addition to learning about others
Another advantage I gained from my exposure & learning from other tribes is it stripped me of the belief & perception that my ethnic group is superior to others.
Witnessing the current divisions along ethnic and religious lines hurts me in many ways considering the great friendships and relationships I have forged over the years with individuals from various ethnic groups and religions.
In my humble opinion I have a strong belief that Nigerians can and are actually capable of living in peace devoid of ethnic or religious intolerance, but we choose not to do so. Forgive me for using the word "choose" but that is a fact in my opinion and I'll explain why.
In my over two decades of mixing with a lot of individuals (especially the youth) from other ethnic groups & religions as well as mine, I have noticed one common feature:
A lot of the prejudice & intolerance they hold towards others is based on what I would describe as inherited stereotypes & prejudices. As Nigerian kids most of us grow up listening to stereotypical stories & statements about other ethnic groups and religions.
These stories & statements form a large part of the prejudices we grow up with, hold & act upon. At NYSC camp, this was proven to be true. I met with individuals who held prejudicial beliefs based on what they had heard and not what they had actually experienced.
After a lot of discussions I discovered that their beliefs were influenced by stories, or what I would describe as urban legends, they had heard about other ethnic groups and religions, which I tried my best to dispel.
Granted, prejudices do exist. They always do. They can also be exaggerated, manipulated and twisted to suit narratives. However, with an open mind & willingness to accept and learn, we can rise above them and learn to be tolerant and accepting of others.
A lot of the problems we currently face are mostly a result of people refusing to open their minds & learn about others. With a close minded approach towards anything in life, you can never learn anything new or progress.
Another part of the problem is the belief most hold of ethnic and religious superiority over others. We treat other ethnic groups and religions with a fair amount of disdain and condescension. No ethnic group or religion has greater right over this country than any other.
I cannot honestly point to any country that has the potential to succeed & make tremendous progress if it embraces it's diversity more than Nigeria. Every tribe has something to bring to the table when it comes to our progress and survival. We have a lot to learn from each other.
Unless we get to a point where we discard these prejudicial beliefs, open our minds and learn from each other, these fissures will continue to expand. For those who beat the drums and call for war, I would refer you to Rwanda. Ask them what good the genocide did for them.
The above stated facts are my opinions. I could be wrong. If I am I will be open minded, learn and change them accordingly. If you have a contrary opinion, please let's engage and discuss in a civil and matured manner.
