Thread by @peero007

True Confessions of a Humper and Humpee #TwitterAfterDark R18+

I stared out the window, as I sipped a cup of black coffee, damn! The coffee was good, if there was one thing my receptionist, aside being the best user of company WiFi and phone, she was good at brewing coffee.

The day was bright, and I had hopes that it would be a good one.

I took my seat behind my desk and checked my agenda for the day, I still had about two hours before the scheduled time for my first clients to show up. As I went through the file of the clients, my mind wandered far away, far far away to my country Nigeria.

I wanted to practice medicine in Nigeria, I wanted to be there for my people, to take the hippocratic oath and save lives, but alas! healthcare was not in the government's agenda. My folks couldn't watch me allow my knowledge and skill go to waste, so I was sent back to the US

Long story short, I was both a medical doctor and also a sex therapist. In no time, I discovered that sex therapy was actually lucrative, like I could charge as much as $500 per hour. I always wondered whether I could have been a sex therapist in Nigeria, why? There seemed to be

A lot of hush hush about sex, meanwhile teenage pregnancy prevailed, condoms and birth control business was thriving, hence, people were not just having sex, but they were having loads of it, and you couldn't help but ask "why the hypocrisy?" especially with couples.

There would be so much sexual tension between Nigerian couples and they would rather keep mum about it, than seek help, and if they did seek help, errr! Well the kind of help they sought was satisfaction from, you know, from outside their marriage, both males and females.

Even here in the States, when I had to deal with Nigerian clients, it was always difficult to get them to open up, and at some point, I stopped attending to Nigerians, I would rather refer them to colleagues in the field, yeah! It saved me a lot of stress.

As a sex therapist, I always wanted to know everything, even to the tiniest details about my clients' sex lives, it helped me determine the best solution for them. The intercom buzzed.

"Yeah"
"Doc, the Browns are here before time, do I send them in?" The receptionist asked

"No delay them...alright just send them in" I replied. Well, perhaps we would be done in no time. The couple came in, and from the door, I knew it was going to be one hell of a long day.

No, they were not Nigerians, they were black Americans, not the cool ones, no, but the other ones.

"Get 'ur weak ass in here, you ain't gotta disrespect me, by smiling 'ur stupid ass smile at the receptionist" Mrs Brown fumed.
"What is wrong with you woman?" her husband.

"Why you gonn' act all flirty with the receptionist, talking 'bout how she look good, you ain't tell me I look good in ages" Mrs Brown
"Hold up! You' re jealous over a compliment? Damn! You sure your meds are correct?" Mr Brown
"How'd I end up with you?" Mrs Brown asked.

I just looked on at both of them, well, their time was ticking.
"Well, I didn't want to settle for less, yet I still ended up with you" Mr. Brown said, and his Wife went into a fit. Time for a drastic measure, I inserted earplugs into my ears and took out the airhorn and used it

"Hey Yo Doc. Chill with that thing" Mrs Brown said.
"I hope you're well aware you've used up about 15 minutes from your 1 hour session?"

For a while they were cool, and I thought "oh it may not be a long day after all" until
"My husband ain't doing his husband duties, he weak"

"Is that true Mr. Brown?" I asked
"I ain't weak, I keep working my ass out trying to give this ungrateful woman this Gucci bag right here"
"Lame ass excuse, you ain't do shit, Doc ask him when last he done eat my coochi" Mrs Brown said
"Mrs Brown, will you allow me do my job?"

"Sorry Doc, but I've got needs, my poompoom needs me some good ass zoomzoom, and I've got a weak ass husband that don't find my onion booty attractive" Mrs Brown replied.
I could feel her pain, but there was no way I could proffer solutions if both of them were not cooperative

They began arguing again, this time I just stood up and walked towards the door.
"Hey Doc, where're you going?" Mrs Brown asked
"Well I saw you were having a family meeting, I didn't want to intrude or interrupt.

We ended up setting individual sessions for them on different days

Mrs Brown came first for hers,
and after different questions, she made a shocking confession, that had me in awe.

Here goes her confession:
"Hey Doc, I trust you, so it's between us. Well, I gotta tell you, I was so stressed one day, and a couple o' friends suggested I get a special massage, one they called "nuru massage", I got to the place and saw a black fine dude handling the massage,

I ain't like the idea of taking my clothes off, I loved the idea when I saw the chest, and abs of the sexy ass massager. Damn, he fine and strong. When he touched my body, I lost it, I got dripping wet, shivers running through every part of my body, wild thoughts coursing

(for clarity, let's drop the urban parlance) through my mind, the feel of his masculine yet tender hands against my skin had me moaning. I opened my eyes and looked at him his face was expressionless, then my eyes went to his crotch, and I had to tighten my thighs 'cause I

could barely control my hormones and body responses. Then I remembered it was a special Nuru massage service, and my package too was special, so I took the masseur's hand to between my thighs.

"Hey Doc" She interrupted her confession
"Yes Mrs Brown" I answered
"Are you married?"

Why on earth would she just stop a beautiful story to ask if I was married?
"Yes I am married, why?" I answered
"'Cause Doc I'm' bouta give you some x-rated stuff, you good?" She asked
"Oh, you're free, please go ahead" I was very eager to know what happened.

You see, stories of escapades or sexcapades was something I was used to, as I heard them in different versions, positions, styles, you name it.
"Okay Doc, if you say so, if you say so" Mrs Brown said.
"You may proceed"
"Okay, where'd I stop?" She asked
"You and the masseur"

"oh yeah yeah, the dude was so good, all that young blood and energy, damn! He touched in ways my dumbo husband had never touched me, hey Doc, let me tell you a nasty secret, only women know how to touch women in the right spots, now don't you dare look at me like I'm Jezebel,

I know I done sinned so many sins, and imma confess my sins after the sin to get forgiven, but yo Doc, my ladies, them are wild, when they touch me with them dildos, their mouths and their fingers, damn! I be making it rain on them hoes, like squirt squirt all over"
I was tired!

"Mrs Brown, focus please, you and the masseur, what happened?"
"Yeah, that hunk was hunky in the right places doc, when his hands went between my ties, I shook, I trembled Doc, I kept wondering if I was doing the right thing, well I knew I wasn't, but damn I needed me something

Intense, and there was my opportunity with the masseur, I done heard stories 'bout them young niggas blowing the backs out of them milfs and I wanted to experience that too, you know, wisdom says to grab them opportunities, and hell yeah, I grabbed the masseur"

This was one hell of a session with one hell of a talker, I looked at the timer, she still had 45 minutes more, damn! 1 hour 30 minutes suddenly became like it was 24 hours.
"Sooo, you grabbed the masseur, and?"
"No I grabbed the opportunity with the masseur, damn keep up Doc"

"Oh, sorry, please go on"
"So I looked at this masseur who looked like that fine nigga from Fresh Prince of Bel Air, oh no I think he looked like Morris Chestnut instead, I touched his toned arm muscle, it felt so tight, he was so buff, like hot chocolate. Doc, I forgot

everything about being faithful and cheating on my husband. So I asked the masseur if his happy ending service was as good as he looked, Doc, you shoulda seen his smile... "
"No I do not want to think about seeing his smile, go on" I said
"Is you homophobic? chill Doc, you keep

interrupting me. Where was I?" She asked. I rolled my eyes, I had gotten the message already, all I wanted was for her to just tell her story till her session was up, but even time seemed to have taken several minutes backwards.
" sorry, please proceed"

"so he smiled at me with a wink, and Doc, I threw caution to the wind, I pulled him and kissed some mature ass kiss, damn! his lips were soft, so soft that I nibbled on them, oh Lordy Lordy Lord! I just got me a good man toy, damn! He good, he really really good.

the nigga was fascinated by ma titties" She said as she drew my attention to her boobs, they were quite large, & it was unsettling that I was staring at them & didn't know when I said
"oh nice"
"Doc, you sure you're married?" She asked again. Not again!
"Yes, your time's running"

"How you gonn' tell me ma time's running when you keep interrupting me and bringing me back, my time ain't running, your time's running Doc, damn!" Mrs Brown retorted.
"Okay, please get to the point"
"How am I gonn' get to the point if you don't know how I got to the point"

Honestly, I was tired, and even my professionalism was tired.
"Don't interrupt me no more, so young muscular Denzel.."
"Denzel, thought you said Morris Chest.. Never mind, go ahead
"He wrapped me in his arms, kissed ma neck, and when he got to ma titties, nigga fed on them like

He had been deprived of boobs for a long time, he did something with his tongue and my nipples that made me shudder, and slowly he made his way down to my coochie, young Denzel tongued that place so good that I went bebe esto es bueno, Me encanta como lo comes bebe! Yeah Spanish

and when I could take it no more, I told him Sí, ven a mamá, dáselo a mamá, damn! Sex is the only time ma Spanish is good, Doc, when I saw his instrument, I'm like Yo homie, where've you been all ma damn grown ass life, yo Doc you ain't gotta be the judge of me, but I sucked &

licked that lollipop before it got into ma twat, young Denzel with all that young blood energy, put ma legs and damn fat thighs on his shoulders and rammed his dick into me, O.M.G., damn dicking so good I done said a lotta things like mamasaymamasamamacumsa, kumbaya take me kunta

he made me cum multiple times Doc, something my husband could not do even in the next life. Young Denzel was just the perfect boy toy for me. I felt making me cum was the height of it for me, till he bent me over and humped me from behind, he made the best use of my onion booty,

and it felt good doc, real gooood"
I didn't want to hear more, I had heard more than enough.
"Okay, and how did you feel about it and your husband?"
"My husband ain't no saint, I have young Denzel on speed dial, if Mr Brown ain't gonn stop giving my dick to them thots, then

I ain't getting rid of young Denzel"
"So you're saying your husband cheats?"
"mmhmmm, my fault though, I gave him a guilt free pass to try other women if he ever felt like it, without reducing my portion and quality of his dick- he ain't keep to his word"

In all my years as a sex therapist, this one case seemed different on so many levels.
"You indulged your husband,& didn't think there would be consequences?" I asked
"Doc, I made a mistake, and I.." -Ding- her time was up.
"Okay Mrs. Brown, tell your husband to come in tomorrow"

"Hey Doc, our secret, if he comes tomorrow and refuses to speak about his humping sessions, ask him who Vyonne and Tasha are, he'll break" She said with a wink.
"Okay, Mrs Brown, thank you" I answered, & she was gone. I sat in my chair and wondered why some humans were difficult.

I got back home that day and I couldn't take my mind off Mrs Brown and her romp with the masseur, I shouldn't have been bothered, but as I watched my Wife move around, the questions popped in my head "What if you're too weak for her? What if she has female friends that touch her?

what if she has a boy toy on the side?" No, I waved the thoughts aside, not my Wife, I trusted her with my life, that night, as we lay in bed, I teased her to a debate about who knew the right places to touch, and I was shocked when she said "My love, it's not even a debate,

women really do know how to touch women in the right spots better than men" oh well, she could have said that based on logic. I didn't want to lose my Wife, so I asked her to teach me how she would love to be touched, well all that touching led to some intense moments for us

my Wife and I made love, the best ever, we switched roles between been humper and humpee, I hit the right spot three good times, and we had to change the sheets. The only problem I encountered though, was the frequent images of a Mrs Brown flashing through my mind as I thrust my

Wife. It was indeed the best night ever, I couldn't count how many times I was told "Baby I'm yours till the end", I mean taking your Wife to orgasmic moments three times was a rarity, and I basked in the euphoria of that moment.

Next day we woke up with so much energy, and my Wife was even lovelier than ever. I hoped the rest of the day would be just as good. I got to my office and got my usual cup of coffee, and I wasn't too happy with the fact that my first client was Mr. Brown, in fact I said a prayer

asking God that he make Mr. Brown very cooperative and without drama like his wife- Mrs Brown, no, that woman was a handful, real trouble to avoid anywhere. I wondered how they both met, perhaps a one night stand that didn't end well, perhaps Mrs Brown's curvy body did the job

"Hello Doc" The receptionist called in
"Yeah?"
"We may have a bit of a situation here"
"What do you mean?" I asked
"Well, Mrs Brown is insisting on going in with her husband"
"Oh shit!" I cussed
"Do I let them in?"
"Hold on, I'm coming out instead" as I made for the door

I tried to glower at Mrs Brown, but she fluttered her eyes, blew a kiss, and licked her lips, my belly must have knotted, did she always have to be nasty.
"Mrs Brown, you shouldn't be here today, it's your husband's session" I said
"He mine, & I know he ain't gonn' tell you shit"

"Mr. Brown please step into the office and make yourself comfortable"
"That cheat ain't gonn' tell you shit, you need me in there Doc" Mrs Brown pleaded
"No, you had your turn yesterday, allow him have his, I'll call you if I need you" I said as I shut the door, all this while

Mr. Brown was quiet. I turned around to find him drinking, he was downing my whisky. What kind of family was this?
"Mr. Brown, that would be enough now" I said
"Hey Doc, you said to come in here and make myself comfortable, damn! this whisky good, can you ask your cute secretary

to get me some ice, let's get this party started" Mr. Brown said. I looked up, at God, are we going to go through this again today?
"Mr. Brown, you do know why you're here, right?" I asked
"Yeah yeah Doc, let's git it over with, I've got an appointment with a fine ass woman"

"Oh, your Wife?" I asked
"Hell No, not that woman, she ain't got no respect, always embarrassing me in public, nah Doc, she ain't no fine ass woman, she's ungrateful and just lays in bed like she some hacked piece of wood wanting me to do all the work, & she just gonn' lay there

moaning with them ahhhs & ohhs, my Wife, Mrs Brown ain't got game" Mr Brown said. We had gotten off to a great start, beautiful, I looked up and muttered a silent "Thank you God"
"So Mr. Brown, you're cheating on Mrs. Brown, why?"
"Damn Doc, you ain't hear me say she ain't active

in bed, you ever had relations with a woman that lay like she dead? I bet you never..."
"so you've been getting maintenance from elsewhere, was it worth the while?"
"Hell Yeah, you bet it was" Mr. Brown answered.
"So Mr. Brown, I'm curious, how did you switch from your beautiful

Wife to the numerous ladies?"
"Well, Doc, it all started when my wom- Mrs Brown began to deprive me of my fundamental right to sex, no damn sex for months, and she would expect me to be available when she needed my dicking services. One day I met Anna, and damn she took me out of

my misery, my oh my, she rode me like a rodeo, I love me some big titties like my Wife's, Anna made me realize small titties matter. I wanted what I was enjoying with Anna to happen between my Wife and I, but she was never ready" Mr. Brown said. He poured himself more drink

I looked as he kept downing the whiskey, good thing it was a cheap refill, I thought to myself "I may have to raise the fees of my clients to cover alcohol"
"How did you meet Anna?" I asked. He took a swig of the drink.
"Damn! This some good ol' whisky, good stuff Doc. So Anna"

"Yeah Anna" I answered.
"ho ho ho Doc, this one time I was hanging out with the boys at a bar, I see this fine shorty sitting alone at the counter, so I walked up to her and we got talking, and she said she found me interesting, damn doc my Wife ain't said anything good to me in

forever, and right there was a fine ass Mexican mami who found my black ass interesting, what was I to do? Throw a potential friendship away? Hell no! Ma Mama ain't raise no fool, I hugged the opportunity. That night I took Anna to her place and she invited. I swear I just wanted

drop her off and go back home to my annoying Wife, but my Mama also raised a gentleman, so I had to accept the invite into her home. Yo Doc, when I stepped into Anna's home, I knew shit was gonn' go down, when she bent over to take her jeans off, a little birdie in ma head told

me Imma hit that booty, I ain't never had no Mexican before, and I done heard news about how them are pros. Hey Doc, tell me, you don shag a Mexican or Brazilian before?" Mr. Brown asked.
" Mr. Brown, please proceed" I said
"I ain't proceeding with shit though if you ain't gonn

answer ma question. Now I was stuck.
"I have never" I iterated
"You sure Doc?" Mr. Brown asked with a smirk
"Yes" I replied
"Are you married" He asked. Why did him and his wife ask me that question.

"Yes I'm happily married" I answered
"Chill Doc I ain't ask you if you're happy in your marriage or not, I don't care, just a basic question if you're married or not, shit you ain't gotta rub your happy marriage in my face" Mr Brown responded. how could a husband and wife be so

difficult.
"Mr. Brown you do know your time is ticking?" I asked.
"Chill Doc, do I gotta tell you how we done got down?"
"Yes"
"Damn, that's some porn shit you 'bouta let me narrate. So Ana took a bath and needed company in the bathroom, I gladly obliged, and for some strange

reason I was so comfortable with the whole thing, then she invited me into the shower with her, Doc I ain't never taken my clothes off that quick in my life, in no time I was in the shower with her. Damn Doc, I done heard about them shower action, you done heard too? tried it?

"No I haven't tried it Mr. Brown" I answered.
"You should, I could teach you one or two skills"
"You've got less than 15 minutes" I reminded
"Hey Doc, don't be playing man, I just got here" I was in no mood to argue.
"So you and Anna?"
"Oh yeah yeah, so she got on her knees

and gave my good fella down there some Fine ass Mexican mouth support" Mr. Brown said.
"Mouth support?" I asked, to be sure I heard right.
"Now you gonn' tell me I've got 2 minutes left when your ass keeps interrupting my story"
"Please continue"
So she gave my dick the best

Mouth support ever, damn! Doc, head so good I nut in her mouth, Mrs Brown ain't never let me nut in her mouth, all she gonn do is nag about how nasty cum taste, how she know the taste of cum if I was her first? So, with the shower running, we kissed, she stroked me till I was

Ready for more action, yo Doc, ya need to see us, like some porn acting shit, I ain't know I could perform, right there under the shower, I eased my dick into some juicy Mexican cunt, and all I remember saying was delicioso delicioso. Yo Doc, her ass ain't as big as my Wife's

but damn, that Mexican ass was heaven. Man, I held that ass, and banged the Tromp out of her, she saying a lot of Mexican shit I ain't understand, but I heard Papi Papi a couple o' times, and I'm like yeah who's your Daddy now? Who's your Papi now? Shit Doc, I'm hard now

from thinking about it, I ain't never gotten that much pleasure in my entire life, now I could confirm, that them Mexican Mamis knew stuff about stuff, man, hey Doc, can I leave now, I need me some Anna action this moment" He said.
"Do you really want to ha e these Anna moments

With Mrs Brown?" I asked
"Why you gonn ask that question? I miss them big brown titties and wide ass, and oil well of my Wife man, but not today, I want to have me some Anna moments first, maybe the last" Mr. Brown added. I was tired, how could a couple be so lose and carefree?